Our problem with love - Tatizo letu kwa upendo

Love can be a problem. Not always, but it can become a problem.

There are some loves. There is love for oneself, love for a country, for one's nation, for one's house, for one's neighbor, love for one's wife. Love is not simple. It has many facets. Why does a soldier go to war? There can be only one answer: because he loves his country, loves it more than his life. Along with grief and fear, love is one of the strongest emotions we can feel. 

But there is also the love for his work. Einstein loved his work, it gave him joy. He knew that he was missing something, that his train of thought had a wrong direction. During a walk with a friend, it was just noon, they passed a church and just then the bells rang. There it fell to him like the scales from his eyes, it lacked the time! So he could complete his formula.

Interpersonal love is probably the most difficult love of all. When love begins, it is beautiful, sweet and fills us with joy. Love is not only the search for our counterpart, it is also the search for ourselves. Hormones control our libido. Genes that make us be faithful or tempt us to flings. Brain circuits that guide our deepest feelings. What does love mean to the individual? This feeling cannot be grasped with numbers, made tangible with formulas. Those who are in love are not thinking about biochemistry or spreading their genes. Love is something magical. It is unfathomable and yet so powerful that it can determine our entire lives: We look for a person who accepts us as we are. We long for a counterpart who accompanies and supports us. We desire to merge spiritually and physically with a partner. This is the desire for romantic love. An ideal that is deeply rooted in our consciousness. 

Love does not last a lifetime, we are to blame for that. It is the influences to which we are exposed and which we have to put away. Life is not easy, it is complicated and love is not easy either. One must also be able to forgive. A quarrel is sometimes quite good, as emotions are discharged, freeing the mind and leading to a reunion. One must not be stubborn. The environmental influences, the social influences that affect us, that they do, whether we like it or not, we have to keep out of our relationship if possible. If we have problems, we should discuss them with our partners, so that they understand that we are under pressure and that this is also understood. The daily struggle for existence demanded strength and skill. Women, need protection, there are the men again in demand, they must provide this protection. 

When can we say "I love you!" with all our heart? 

Love is an independent force with many names, for example trust, appreciation, respect, honesty, tolerance, loyalty. The sum of our experiences since birth determines our later interpretation of love. When we speak of love, we must be ready to give and receive words of appreciation, togetherness, gifts that come from the heart, helpfulness and tenderness. Love is not a one-way street, it is not a highway either, love is something tender, fragile that must be protected and cared for. 

A final word. Love is a disease, it can be painful, but it can also be beautiful. Love is the most beautiful disease we know.