Ukatili - brutality
So the days go by. The long awaited
Rain has come, then
came again.
I come back from my walk. Nobody there, everyone is gone. I am amazed, but do not attach great importance to it.
It doesn't take long before my phone rings. The monster calls.
"We are in the hospital!"
I am scared. "What happened?"
"Skydiver swallowed a five shilling coin!"
I'm not badly amazed. Have to ask again, I think I've misheard, but no, it's true. I have to laugh. Calm the monster and her daughter, tell them that this is not dangerous.
They come home after a few hours. They show me an x-ray. I look at it, have to laugh again. You can see Skydiver's stomach and the five shillings coin in the middle. Looks really funny.
"The doctor said she is very valuable to mom now."
That is nature, what comes in at the top comes out again at the bottom. And so it was.
A few days later. I read by the bed. Don't think anything bad, I hear a terrible noise. Skydiver screams, the monster screams. I storm out of the room, out onto the porch, see the monster skydiver beating. It's not just a slap, it's a heavy blow! I rush to it, push myself in between, shooter skydiver with my body. The monster is mad. I take Skydiver by the hand and take her into the bedroom. The monster follows us, roaring and screaming, at the same time trying to hit Skydiver, but I can prevent that. Skydiver's face is wet with tears.
I reassure Skydiver, tell her that her grandma won't hit her anymore.
In the late afternoon I ask the monster what happened that beat Skydiver like that. I can't believe my ears, what she's telling me is incomprehensible to me.
"I gave her one hundred shillings to buy me airtime. On the way back, she swallowed the airtime credit."
I ask Skydiver why did you put this strip in your mouth? Of course I don't get an answer. It would be too much to ask.
I'm trying to explain this thing to the monster. "It is like that," I begin. "You should really be hit on the head! Sending a three-year-old to go shopping is a tough job! Three-year-olds are not sane, you should be aware of that."
The monster cannot understand. It's annoying, but it is.
Brutality is rampant here.
Another day. Another brutality. This time it's Jigsaw.
I'm lying on the bed, writing. Scream! Suddenly Jigsaw storms into my room. Eyes wide open, full of fear.
"Save me!" She calls.
I realize immediately that it is very serious.
"Come on, go to bed, your mom can't hurt you here!"
The monster rushes in, a thick branch in hand. She charges at Jigsaw, tries to reach her, to hit her. I try to push myself in between. The monster pushes me away, hits Jigsaw. Jigsaw screams, desperately trying to escape the blows. I have to fight the monster. Ain't easy, the monster is strong and I am weak. Finally I manage to take the branch away from her. However, that did not bring the peace that I wished for. Now she is attacking her daughter with her fists. I have to step in again, push her out the door, lock the door, no one can beat her now. Now the work begins. Calm down, Jigsaw and the monster. The monster sits in the living room and breathes like a fire-breathing dragon. Jigsaw moans by my side.
I ask what happened that her mother is so angry. She tells me that her mother sent her shopping and on the way back she lost the change.
"How much is it?"
"50 shillings."
I go to the monster in the living room. Jigsaw trembles in the bedroom, the monster in the living room. I'm also shaking from anger.
"Are you completely out of your mind?" I yell at the monster.
As expected, she cannot understand.
"Are you freaking out about 50 schillings?"
"She lost the money!"
"That can happen. We've all lost around that happens!"
"That's 50 shillings, that's a lot of money!"
"Of course it's uncomfortable, 50 shillings is a lot of money. But the blows aren't worth it. You have to talk, explain, try to understand, brutality is completely wrong. It doesn't help! Makes things worse. If bJigsaw once grown up and has children herself, she will remember these blows. What children need is love and understanding, trust. Where should they turn when they have a problem? They turn to the person they trust. "
Only society, because only it and only it, has caused the existential imbalance that we try to overcome by walking upright. She and only she has robbed us of the world's trust.
We are all children of Christ and our Lord, instruments of his mercy and placed on earth to act as instruments of his grace, to sow the seeds of brotherhood and good works.
Brutality in upbringing is widespread. Brutality is easy. Easy to use. The stronger beats the weaker. This is how we pass it on to our children. They don't learn anything else, they don't see anything else. This is how the brutality is passed on from generation to generation.
I never hit my child, it never occurred to me. Brutality is a sign of weakness. This is now bearing fruit. Perhaps I may briefly mention it here, it has nothing to do with Kenya, but still very informative.
I was in South Africa. Had an accident, a woman caught me in the car. Hip was broken. The hospital wasn't exactly good, as birds were nesting in the room. The date for the operation could not be found out, in maybe 2 weeks, it could be longer, I was told. In short, it didn't look good, I felt like I was going to die. So I said goodbye to my child. "I come and I care for you!"
That was the reaction. My child is a doctor. After all, my child set heaven and hell in motion, I was transferred to a much better hospital, and the next day I had an operation.
My child saved my life.
You can only do this with love, not with a beating. Children do not forget!
I also think I can remember that these words are in the Bible: "Let the children come to me, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven ..."
Chapter 19
Kifo - the death
I just got the news that my best friend has died. We knew each other for many years and went through a lot together. That was a long time ago. Now we have grown old, death is at our door, there is no turning back!
Death is life's brother. Both always come together, never one alone.
Death is nothing at all, wrote Henry Scott Thomas: "Death is nothing. It has no meaning. I have only gone next door. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it was. I am who I am, and you remain you, and the old life we shared so lovingly remains untouched, goes on unchanged. Whatever we were to each other remains. Address me as you have always addressed me.
Speak to me as casually as you always have. Speak in the familiar way.
Do not force yourselves to be serious or sad. Laugh as always at our little jokes together.
Enjoy yourselves, smile, think of me, say a prayer for me. Leave my name and reputation as it was. Speak about me in a light-hearted way, without casting me into the shadows. Life means all that it has always meant. It is as it has always been. It persists, on and on, without pausing. What is this death but a trivial, accidental circumstance? Why should I be out of your hearts
just because you no longer see me? I am waiting for you, in the meantime, somewhere close by. All is well. No harm is done, nothing is lost. After a little while, everything will be as it was. How we'll make fun of the pain of separation when we meet again!"
The world is in a terribly bad state. It has become a gloomy house, a fit dunghill for the birds, the fat, hope, joy, youth, peace, rest, life, dust, ashes, desert, lust, decay, despair, madness, death, fear, guile, folly, words, strife, rags, sheepskin, plunder, projection, writing and spinach. In this house - our earth - nothing is as it should be. Man in himself is a know-nothing and a busybody. We read the newspaper so that we are informed, but when we read it, we are disinformed because we are manipulated. The news is full of the usual junk. Mostly politics, a bit of murder, famine in Africa, a botched attack in the Middle East. Towards the end there is one of those gossip stories that always have to serve as a stopgap. Noam Chomsky, one of the most important intellectuals alive today, has compiled a list of the 10 strategies of manipulation by the mass media. We fail more and more beautifully, and above all with more relish. That's what we like to do, we fail with pleasure! Somehow this is also madness! Politics. Franco (Spanish fascist) defined it like this : "Three are the fundamental truths on which our politics has been based in the course of these years: the principles of divine law, true service to the homeland and social justice in relation to the common good, the bedrock of a great and inevitable political revolution."
Pope Pius XII sent Franco a telegram of appreciation: "We wish that this immensely beloved country, now that peace has been obtained, may take up with renewed vigour its ancient Christian traditions which have made it so great." Many priests took part in the front line of the war or were active in the purges in the hinterland, where the Church did not care about the deaths of so many condemned, but did care about their sacramentalisation, i.e. that the victims of the courts martial passed away converted to Christianity. The Vatican did not share this attitude and was much more humane and less bellicose than the Spanish bishops, but after initial hesitation, Pope Pius XI and the Roman Church also sided with Franco. It was the moment when the bishops proudly raised their arms and Franco took communion every day.
Julian Casanova analyzed the role of the Church thus: "The Church is victim and executioner, but it has been executioner for longer and much more clearly than victim."
What does politics mean? To always be pending. But not committing oneself to the outside world. Casting a line in the clear and fishing in the murky. Promising everything and keeping the part you have to keep for your own benefit. People have fixed it for themselves, always on top, never looking at anyone else, or even considering anyone else, they have taken what they wanted, then as now. There is no question of guilt and atonement, guilt is felt only by the victims, atonement by the relatives of the dead and murdered. That is how we continue to live today, cheerfully and contentedly looking to the future. Chaos reigns all around us. Politics is in love with itself.... But who goes into politics? There are only two kinds of people who go into politics: Rags and idiots. Yes, these are our politicians! In love with themselves, self-promoters, on the edge of legality. They admire themselves. The biggest calves, choose their own butchers! That's what it looks like. Sad.
How does a story begin? Usually with : 'once upon a time...'. That was in the old days, today a story starts with : 'if I am elected, I promise...'.
On the other hand, we have to look at the clowns, there are so few now. There is a reason for that, the clowns are all in parliament!
That's a deadly constellation, nothing can come out of it, nothing can happen to help humanity, that's all going the wrong way.
My wound neither bleeds nor crusts over, the one who leaves is forgotten, the one who stays burns, if I were to run away, but I can't,' writes Rafet El Roman.
Death is just - in the sense that it befalls all people, rich and poor, powerful and powerless, pious and unbelieving. Jesus Sirach recognizes an eternal cycle: "Yesterday it was up to me, today it is up to you. So it goes with the human race: some die, others are born."
(Quote: "Even the wise die, just as fools and fools perish." (Psalm 49:11); other scriptures: Ecclesiastes 9:3; Sirach 14:19; 38:23)
Instead of focusing on one's own death, man should enjoy and make the most of life, as the psalmist praises: "I will not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord."
(Quote: "Teach us to remember that we must die." (Psalm 90:12); other scriptures Sirach 8:8; 14:18; Isaiah 51:12; Psalm 118:7).
"He that liveth and believeth in me shall never die." (John 11:26); further scripture Revelation 21:4.
"Verily from God we come, and, verily to Him we are brought back."
This verse from the Quran has a central meaning for Muslims. They think of this verse when they receive news that relatives, friends or acquaintances have died. Believing in death as a kind of transition to the afterlife is elementary in Islam and is counted among the six truths of faith.
"... that there is this inevitability and that every creation that has a soul in it will indeed also face death. And the Prophet Muhammad also says in very many statements that the remembrance of death is very important because it basically brings about a reorientation of the worldly, i.e. earthly existence. And the thought of death inevitably leads one to divine or think of the hereafter."
And that has taken us very far now. The thoughts come when I think of my friend who passed away. He had a full life. Or so I hope. At the end of life we should not worry, we will enter another world, a world where there is no more injustice, no more hunger, no more pain.
Chapter 20
Wajenzi - builder
This is how life goes, an eternal ups and downs. Sometimes pretty, then again ugly. Bert Brecht already wrote it: 'Nothing stays as it is.' And there is nothing to add to that.
The monster is in my ears, she wants to build a house. I am not convinced that this is the right decision. A house means that I always have to be in the same place, I can't decide overnight that I want to leave this place. I have to sell a house, rent it out, I just give it back an apartment. Much easier and without a headache.
I object, she listens, pretends to understand.
She is looking for an apartment. It's too tight where we live. Which is not really true, because after the party we were - I think there were eight people - in the house and slept there. I have to accept the narrowness, there is nothing else to do.
An apartment will soon be found. Bigger than the current one. Not far away. Pleasant for Jigsaw because that's where she goes to school. Rent is fine, 10,000. We look at them. Not bad. We go again, the caretaker will talk to the owner and then let us know. We'll get word the next day. The owner demands 20,000!
I'm not surprised why, I was expecting something like this.
The monster says: "The owner must have found out that you are a mzungu and has doubled the rent."
Maybe it is absurd, whether I can believe it that way?
In short, the apartments have their pitfalls. Everything doesn't work out, something always comes up. There is always something that doesn't fit.
After weeks of searching, it is clear: a house is needed!
I mentioned it before, a foreigner, a damn, crazy Mzungu, a white man is lost in Kenya.
We are looking for a house, a place to stay for all of us! I have to repeat, we are two adults and two children.
The search is not that easy. The size has to fit, what is still important is the price!
The monster says: "The boy is big, in a short time he is going to university, then only the little one remains and I send her to my sister in Nairobi."
Simple. Plain and simple.
I know her, I know that there is a lot of talk, most of it is said to make me happy, satisfied. It therefore has no special meaning for me. A 3 bedroom house is a must! End and end.
We are looking for in Nairobi and the surrounding area. We drive around, inspect, search. We find some houses that we would like. One thing must also be said here that some houses do not even exist, we only see a construction site, green around us.
I'm not rich, contrary to the Kenyan belief that all whites are rich. Maybe we are rich, not in money, maybe rich in experience. What do I know?
If you have enough money, you can choose it, that's true, there is only one thing I don't know whether a foreigner can own a house at all. The real estate agents who try to sell don't say anything, they don't care, the money matters to them.
We come back unsatisfied. Still no house, no view. The monster makes a long face. I notice, but don't say anything.
I am worried. Take a pencil, a piece of paper and start to put my thoughts on paper. What is written can be better analyzed. Soon I come to the conclusion that I can save half of it if I build the house myself. This has advantages, but also disadvantages. The advantage is that I can build a house the way I want and not a house that is a standard house. Downside, I have to take care of everything. It doesn't matter, I'm retired and have enough time.
Shakespeare wrote it in Hamlet when he had the gravedigger say: "No sooner have you been born, death begins."
It is true that our life is like a house with two doors, we come in through one door, we go back through the other door. Our lives are far too short to play around with. On the other hand, people need a home, the only question is: 'where is my home?' Here I am a white man, a mzungu, a stranger. Don't speak the language. Can I be assimilated here? A white man in Kenya? Without money? Without future? Why should I build a house at all? A little story about it. Alexander the Great, of Macedonia, had subdued the world as far as India. In India he met a guru. He introduced himself. "I am the ruler of this world." That did not impress the guru. "You don't just own the piece of earth you are standing on." That was the guru's answer and he was right. We don't own anything possession is a superstition. Possession does not exist. Only in our imagination.
Man's great fault is that he has the freedom to repent every day and does not choose it.
These are my thoughts.
A building site has to be found. Not easy either. When the blacks hear that a white man is looking for a building plot, this building plot suddenly becomes gold.
There are phone calls, questions go around, all of which takes time. The monster is in a hurry. Your mood has improved noticeably, that pleases me and calms me down too. Her scowl was not easy to bear.
To cut it short, the aunt has found a reason. Not that far from where we are now.
The next problem is the builder, Wajenzi or as the monster says Fundi. (I don't actually know the expression Wajenzi, everyone says Fundi.)
The monster knows him. "I met him when we were building here, and he was overseeing the building project."
"You built? Who built?" I ask, strangely touched.
She tells me a story, it can be true, but it doesn't have to be. I leave it, there is no point in asking any further. Dear God, let the Fundi come!
And he's coming!
We're sitting in the bar, I'll have a cold beer, that's good. It's late afternoon. The sun is still shining, but soon it will disappear behind the trees.
The fund is coming. The monster introduces him. The Fundi has a folder with him. He puts them on the table. He introduces himself. His name is Innocent. (I hope the name is spelled correctly). I have to laugh. He looks a bit strange, maybe confused because I laugh when he said his name.
"Innocent!" I yell out, "I'm not innocent!"
The Fundi has to laugh too. He sits down. I explain to him why I am laughing. "Innocent has this meaning for me: you are free from guilt or sin especially through lack of knowledge of evil: blameless, an innocent child. And the Bible also says: let the children come to me, because theirs is the kingdom of heaven . "'
"Yes, I know, a strange name, but I have it."
"Never mind, mine is no better."
The Fundi brought a plan of a house with them. He takes it out of a torn envelope.
"I've just come back from a building negotiation," he explains.
The house on the blueprint is not what I want, the monster also has objections. But that doesn't matter, because we are looking for someone who can carry out the construction project, we can create the construction plan for it ourselves or announce our wishes.
So far so good. The first step is taken. We have a fund. Now we can take action.
At the end of a short story.
One died in Nairobi. He knocks on heavens door. Nobody open. He knocks louder. God heard it, calling Moses.
- Moses, what's going on, who is knocking on the door?
Moses is checking it. He came back.
-It's a Nairobi man, he wants to enter the heaven.
- Let this poor guy in and give him something to do.
The Nairobi man enters heaven. Moses give him a trimur instrument to play on a cloud.
The Nairobi man got cloud number 7 to sit on and the play music and to sing.
- Hallelujah, the man sing very lite.
- Hallelujah, again, he sing it very lite and then he hear for an echo or answer but unfortunately he couldn't hear anything.
- Hallelujah, this time louder.
Again he hear but no answer.
He becomes angry.
- Hallelujah, he cried out. 'Hallelujah again! Dawn hallelujah! ' No answer.
God hears that shouting.
- Moses, who is so much making notice?
Moses is checking it.
- It's the Nairobi man, my master.
-We must give him another job to do. That's good, actually I have one important task to do.
The man is called to God.
- Nairobi man, I have something important to do. This is a letter for the president, he's waiting for it. Go to him and deliver it.
The man takes the letter and leaving heaven. He's flying down to Nairobi. On the way he is passing some bars. He can smell the bear. He thinks, 'Let me have a beer.' And he enters a bar. He orders a bear. It is fresh and cold. He enjoys it very much. He thinks, 'OK, I should deliver this letter but I guess it can wait for some minutes more.' And he orders a second bear. He looks around, everyone is happy, smiling, laughing, drinking bear, enjoying life. He orders a next bear. He starts to sing. Other people sings with him. He orders a bear after the other. Life can be so nice! And he drinks one bear after the other .... And he forgot the letter, the advice from God to the president. And so the president is still waiting for the heaven advice.
Chapter 21
Njama - the plot
We will leave it at that for now. We do not want to deal with it any further.
As already mentioned, the plot is quickly found.
What we don't know is whether it is a piece of land suitable for building a house. So we take the fundi with us. He also arrives with a tape measure.
We go by bus. It's not far, about an hour away. If it weren't for the long waits and the many stops, the journey would take just under 40 minutes.
So we arrive, get out, walk to the property. It is a bit off the beaten track, quiet, not far from the main road and not far from a small supermarket.
A man is waiting for us, it is Patrick. He shows us the land. We take a look at it.
Innocent grins. "I'm quite in love with this piece of land," he says to me.
I'm a bit surprised, because that's not why I brought him along. He is supposed to measure the land, tell us if it is suitable for building a house. Whether he likes the land or not is his business.
The owner comes, a certain Charles.
It doesn't take long before two people come on a motorbike. They are the surveyors. They measure the land again with the fundi.
Everything is OK, the fundi says.
"The land costs 700,000," Charles says. "But because it's you, 600,000."
I think, the monster doesn't.
"We'll take it! It's so beautiful here!"
I'm still thinking, calculating how many euros that is. That's all my savings! There's nothing left.
The monster penetrates me. She already has a plan.
"Everything is there!," she says, "electricity is there, not far away, water is there! Water is life! Here we have everything we need."
Electricity is there, I see the electricity pillar not far away. Water I don't see.
"Where is the water?", I ask.
"There's a pipe over there, that's where the water will be diverted. Controlled by the government, it's pure drinking water!"
I ask why he has lowered the price. He answers that he urgently needs money for his son.
I don't have much left, so I agree.
So we take it off.
We leave.
Next to the supermarket is a restaurant. I hadn't noticed it when we arrived, but the monster says, "Let's get something to eat, there in that restaurant."
The Fundi didn't see it either. We wonder.
The monster rushes into the restaurant without looking left or right, heading straight for her target. At first, neither I nor the Fundi can see anything, because it's dark in the restaurant. We run after her. At the back of the restaurant there is a garden with pleasant seating. We sit down.
"How do you know your way around there?" I ask, "have you been there before?"
"No, this is my first time here."
The Fundi looks at me, I look at the Fundi. He shrugs his shoulder.
We order something to eat. Meat, ugali and tomato salad. I don't like meat that much.
The Fundi asks me: "You don't eat?"
"I do eat, but not so much meat."
"Why not?"
"They are living creatures that have been killed so that we can eat them."
The fundi wonders. "These animals are there to serve us."
I don't agree at all. They are living creatures, just like us, created by God. That's what the Bible says. If someone now claims that the animals are there to serve us, he is elevating himself to God's level. And man is far from God.
The food is excellent. The beer is cold. Everything fits together well.
We are going home. It's not as easy as you might think. There is no terminus where we are, where the matatus are lined up, here they just stand still, you can get on or not, it depends on the space and the price, the two often don't go together. If there is room, the price is too high, if the price is right, there is no room. A vicious circle! We stand on the road and wait. One matatu after another comes, something always doesn't fit. You have to be patient, otherwise you are lost in Kenya. We finally made it. It was already getting dark, I was nervous, a matatu came by, we squeezed in. I feel like I'm in a consern box, squeezed in right and left between people I don't know. But what the hell, we are on our way back.
We get home late.
I'm going to buy, so we - the fundi, the monster and I - agree to meet before I sign the contract.
Chapter 22
Mkataba - the contract
What we still don't know is what the house should look like. Big, small, high, low, ... There are so many options. What I know is simple: Atehan psatzen debena bere etchezan da - (that's what the Basques say) whoever walks through this door may feel at home. And that's my job too.
Are you closer to the face of God when you kneel before his consecrated altar? It is said that God is everywhere. But it also means: go to your father's house.
And that's exactly how it should be, a father's house. Everyone who comes should be welcome, as a friend, relative or just a hiker who asks for a place to sleep.
I'll have the monster call Fundi, this problem has to be solved!
We'll meet in the bar. As always, I'll have a cold beer.
"This bar here, that's my office," I explain to the Fundi. "There is everything I need here. Cold beer, fresh air and music." The music is too loud, I can hardly understand anything, that makes conversation a bit difficult.
The Fundi brought some plans with them, copied from a newspaper. We look at them, we don't like them.
The monster says, "What can we do?"
The Fundi says: "Look on the Internet, there are many examples! Find one."
That's how easy it can be!
I ask, casually, if he has any idea how much the house might cost?
He pulls out a pencil and a piece of paper, begins to talk and write.
"The foundation costs around 100,000. For this we need 50 bags of cement, 2 truckloads of stones, ... Then the approval, the stamps, ..."
He enumerates a number of things. Then the bricks, the windows, the doors and ... In the end he adds up. It comes to 5 million.
I guess the house can't get big at 5 million! I can't pay that! It has to be a hut, nothing else is possible!
We discuss how big is the house, how big should it be.
Then we come to his task. He will do the construction site inspection.
I ask him why doesn't he do the planning too?
"We need an architect for that."
"And he also does the construction drawing?" I ask.
"No," he replied, "the construction drawing is made by a draftsman."
"And where can I find such a draftsman?"
"That is determined by the architect."
I think this is just an overview, we don't know anything for sure yet. One after the other. There is a lot of talk, maybe too much. I notice a few things. I discard it again. Perhaps I misunderstood it, it may be that one mustn't judge too quickly.
We arrange a meeting point with the seller. Go there, the contract must be signed. The Fundi is there again. Why? I dont know.
We get off the bus, are already expected. It's not far to the land surveyor. It's a strange office, behind another store. To get to the surveyor's office, we have to go through this business.
I am not doing well. I got a stomach ache that night. They are now making themselves felt. The office is small. 2 tables, nothing else, and as usual in Kenya, dark. It takes until I can see something. Witnesses are there too. Chairs are fetched, we sit down.
The surveyor fetches the contract. He gives it to me. I look at him. It is a form from the Ministry Of Land. Nothing special. Nothing special. A standard contract.
The Fundi also looks at him. I wonder why he's doing this. I don't have to wait long, he's already talking.
"It's a completely normal contract."
I've been waiting for that.
And he keeps talking. "Nicely worked out, there is the seller, the buyer, the witnesses, everything is listed correctly."
Excellent! He commented on everything I read. I know everything now!
The surveyor fills out the contract.
Address given by the monster, then the buyer or buyers. The monster comes first, then me. Now the witnesses. The buying price. He shows me the contract.
"Is it correct?"
I look at it.
"No," I say, "the monster's name has to go."
The monster looks a little surprised, but says nothing.
The surveyor amends the contract. My name is now the 1st buyer, the name of the monster as the 2nd buyer. So exactly the other way around.
The surveyor shows me the contract.
" Is it correct?"
I look at it.
"No," I say, "the name has to go."
The monster is irritated. The surveyor brushes the name away. Now only my name is there as a buyer.
"OK," I say, "let's sign."
Here I am in for a surprise. There is no signing, the money has to be paid first. This is strange to me, but this is Kenya.
Now the questions begin.
"When will the money be there?"
The most important question of all.
"I don't know!" I can only answer.
"When do you think it will be there?"
"In 3 days, that is the shortest period of time, it can also take a week or more."
You are satisfied with that.
I made the monster happy. I bought a piece of land that doesn't belong to me because the contract is a sales agreement, nothing more.
Everything was handled quickly. If you have time and let time pass, you lose a friend and never get money. I got rid of money, that's true. Maybe I made a friend. One for life. If you ask a person for change, he gives a lecture on the begotten and the ungenerated; if one asks about the price of bread, the answer is that the father is greater than the son; if you ask whether the bathroom is ready, the answer is that the son was created out of nothing. There is always talk of the bush.
We're going back.
Chapter 23
Fedha - the money
We are on our way again. The money arrived, people ran like crazy to the bank, wanted to withdraw the money, but the bank prevented that. Wasn't bad!
They want to force him to worship their gods, and as he refuses, they pluck him by his beard and his hair and yank him until he kneels, and it's very funny. He does not recognize their visible gods, and the others do not recognize his invisible gods. But just in case, they take away the little money he has saved up for the altars of their gods, and they beat three of his seven children to death.
That's just by the way. Money makes the world go round. Round is maybe not correct, mad is maybe better.
We, the monster and I, we are already expected, impatiently, fearfully perhaps, that we, or rather I, will not come. The man with the money! At the moment everything is at my feet. I can't believe what money can do. It works. Money always works. Kindness prevails. Of course, with my signature there is money! Why shouldn't people be friendly?
In the surveyor's office we sign. Copies are made. I get one to look at. Well, immediately I notice that this document from Ministry Of Land, is not stamped. I have to point this out to him. He apologises, stamps all the papers.
The way to the bank is now clear. With the signed contract they get the money. They can hardly be restrained. Their first way to the bank! Where else?
We're going back.
I have time to think.
What am I going to do with my life?
... I knew what I was spending it on,
Considered what my faith weighs,
And if I end it on the judgment block,
I was victorious in the end!
(Richard Zach, Austrian poet, executed in January 1943)
From a poem smuggled out of prison).
Somehow I feel as if I were on the slaughter bench. It's just happened too quickly. We haven't known each other that long and now I've bought a building plot! Somehow too fast! Way too fast. I feel run over.
We're going for another beer, it's got to be now! My throat needs to be flushed. Something is scratching in my throat.
As always, my thin thoughts dispel the monster. She's got it, I'll give her that.
We're still talking about the house, how it's going to be, what we have to consider.
"Call Fundi, I need to talk to him!"
Everything is still open. Nothing is decided.
Chapter 24
Mbunifu - the architect
We have already achieved a lot. The land is bought, we also have a builder, what we still need is an architect to draw my building plan, which is only a sketch at the moment, properly so that we can get the permits.
We go back to the property, we think it's easier to have an architect from the area. Surely is not wrong thinking. We ask the surveyor, he knows one, sends us there.
I give him my sketch, he looks at it. I made one mistake, but it was only because I didn't know. In Kenya there must be two entrance doors, that's my mistake. It doesn't matter! We make another door through which we can enter the house, through the kitchen. Otherwise everything fits.
The construction plan is quickly drawn, for this he uses a computer. After 3 hours the construction plan is ready.
The architect shows the house as it will look when it is finished. Virtually, this is feasible and the monster lets herself be guided through the virtual house. It wants to see everything, virtually going from the entrance to the living room, then on to the bedroom, from there to the kitchen and the guest rooms.
The next problem is the permits. That's where the architect comes to our rescue. He says, for a little money, he can get us the permits in a short time. I agree and really, in half an hour we have all the stamps.
I still have to deposit some money, but I get deposit slips. We go to the bank, want to deposit, but it does not work. I am a foreigner, so I don't have a PIN (Personal Identification Number), and to make this payment you need a PIN. How can you pay something if it is not allowed? Difficult! I say to the monster, "Pay it you, with your PIN."
I give her the money. She goes to the bank counter, I sit down comfortably, stretch out, thinking of only one thing: a cold beer would do me good right now.
It takes a few minutes, but then it's done.
We have everything we need! We can be satisfied. Everything is done.
The construction project can begin!
Chapter 25
Interlude
Oir, very callar - hear, see, shut up, that's how I proceed. It's easy and doesn't bother. Many people think that whoever doesn't talk is an idiot. It may be true that I'm an idiot, I can't help it.
Tragalo, perro - swallow it, you dog.
I have seen the demons that only the judges, heretics, guests flew, crawled, crouched, those evil spirits that were always only one, and I saw their grim joy.
What am I writing about? From a woman, of course! Happiness is only a woman too. But apparently not my luck. I came to stay here
After two or three weeks I began to feel it,
I inhaled the feeling of life there
All my thoughts were turning around
What used to be important now looked so silly.
Did I really think I found her? Apparently! Life is not straight, there are ups and downs, curves, one-way streets, oncoming traffic. Life is not easy, not for me. I am looking for happiness, love, peace and contentment. Just a peaceful life. I want to leave the ups and downs behind me, I've had enough of them.
Shine bright like a diamond
Find light in the beautiful sea
I choose to be happy
You and I, you and I
We're like diamonds in the sky
You're a shooting star I see
That's what I wanted! Just that! Apparently an impossibility in Kenya.
In our hectic world
It's all about power and money
Finances and banks get me down
The bill never quite picks itself up
And someday you'll ask me
Why I am so tormented
And why I am not already far away, God knows where.
This is a song verse from Austria, it says exactly what I wanted to write and how I feel.
What happened? Very easily. I received a message from my family. Shouldn't be anything unusual, because I'm in touch with them. But this news already confused me. My former wife wrote to me that she had received a message from a certain tabby, she had asked for 10,000, which she would need in order to be able to study. The name doesn't mean anything to me. I ask, get the message that it's the monster's sister. I'm a little excited! I tell the monster. The monster is not that surprised at all, rather angry because she now has a problem that cannot be easily eliminated.
"If that is the case, I will go. That is not right."
The monster is really angry now.
"What do I have to do with my sister?"
Of course she is right. Your sister is a different person. From the same parents, of course.
Think the worst of everyone and you think the real. That is also true.
I don't speak well and I ignore the monster. Sister, no matter what, I don't care.
So let's
Diving in the
Deep lap of the
Love; because we
have just like that
A short time on
This earth,
And we are like that
Long dead.
Chapter 26
Ni nini mbaya - what is wrong
You are the only one
I've never seen before
My number one
You only I go crazy for
I wanna be with you forever
I wanna be your super love
We are still looking for a blueprint. It goes back and forth. We don't have a real plan yet I can't expect anything from Fundi. I ask him if he can make a construction plan. Nothing works without an architect! That surprises me. I think to myself, he should have a little idea.
That's enough for me, I sit down and draw a construction plan. It's a European blueprint, a European house.
I say to the monster, "Send the blueprint to the Fundi."
Some time later, the answer comes, "Looks good."
We meet again. This time we have a basis to talk about.
One of the first questions is, of course, the price. I want to know what the material costs and the labor. He doesn't know, gives evasive answers.
"First we have to see the architect, he will tell us what and how much material we need."
I make another announcement: "Well, I want to get from you; first, a list of what material is needed; and second, I want to know the labor time."
A few days later. We meet again. I'm thinking to myself, he got everything, now I'm getting an overview. What he has is a text message, he shows it to me. Apparently an architect from Nairobi, at least that's what he claims. The architect is asking 200,000 for his overview, because that's the only thing it can be. For the building plan to draw he has someone, he asks 50,000. I am a bit puzzled. Annoyed. I have never seen anything like this before. We continue talking. I make a mistake, notice it immediately, want to correct myself, look at the Fundi, notice that he has not noticed it. I am very surprised. I make more mistakes, this time on purpose, the Fundi doesn't correct me! Strange.
We go home. It doesn't leave me alone, I have to ask the monster, "Is that really a Fundi?"
"Of course," she answers.
I don't say anything, it bothers her. I wait for some time, then I ask, "Did you sleep with him?"
Maybe. I think I saw looks there between the two of them, which I noticed and which have no place between a customer and a builder.
"He's married!"
"It doesn't mean anything."
I wonder, of course, what kind of home construction that was and where? She has no job, is a volunteer. Who would put her to work there? Alright, I'll take it easy, that was before my time, none of my business. Just like her children, I don't know the fathers and they don't interest me either. Maybe it's a mistake on my part, maybe.
I decide to give up the Fundi. So far he has only cost and contributed nothing. For my house I need someone I can rely on.
I search and I find. The one Fundi does what Innocent should have done. He makes a list of the material that is expected to be needed. Then the working price. This is also strange. He calculates the house construction in 3 steps. 1. the foundation, 2. up to the windows, and then up to the rentals. Must confess, I do not know this, is new.
The other fundi already comes with a list of materials needed, as well as the price. Now only the labor price is missing. He charges differently. He charges one price for the foundation and another for the walls. He is also cheaper. This is easier for me to understand. I give him the order.
Sometimes I might wonder why you love me so
I no go leave you till I die mamitto
Girl, I want you to understand
This love makes me feel so special
I want you to understand
This love makes me feel so special
Chapter 27
Majadiliano - a discussion
We now have everything we need to start building. To be able to think, I go for a walk. I go my usual way. Maybe a mistake. There are not many paths that I could go, here I am left in peace, that is important to me. Many greet me, some work in the fields, others come towards me.
It had rained that night, now the sun is shining and the ground is dry.
I meet a farmer, he comes from the field. His friend a little away.
"Mzungu, give me some money," he says to me.
"I don't have one," I replied, that is also true, I never go away with money in my pocket.
His friend shouts something to him, I don't understand it, it's in Swahili.
The farmer calls back: "They are rich! Everyone has a car, can afford anything! They are so rich."
I want to put it right, but this intelligent man is not listening. To him it is very clear that mongooses are rich! End and end!
I go on. One kilometer further on, a man and his son hold me up.
"Mzungu, help me. My son should leave the country. He should go to America."
It's the old song, no Kenyan wants to stay in Kenya, everyone just wants one thing, get away as quickly as possible.
First I have to explain to him that I am not American.
"Never mind Mzungu, anything is better than Kenya."
I am a little surprised by this announcement. Nobody has ever said it so clearly and clearly.
"Why the son?" I ask.
"I'm old. My son is still young. He should have it better than I've ever had."
I can understand that. A father worried about his son's future!
People are approaching from the surrounding houses. Everyone is curious what the mzungu has to say. Some let their work rest, come closer, surround me.
"I can't help, I'm a pensioner. I haven't worked for a while. I can only help establish contact with the embassy. I can't do more than that."
He is satisfied with that. I explain to him where I live, so that he can come over, I can help him if he wishes.
In the meantime some people have come. They stand around me, listening to what is being said.
One says: "Help me too, I want to go too."
I have to laugh. "What's going on?" I ask, "why does everyone want to leave?"
I know nobody is rich here. The fields are too small to be able to live well. The farmers don't need to go hungry, they can make ends meet, OK, more bad than right, but I've seen worse.
"You make a lot of money!"
It's always the same lyre. Money, money and more money.
"I have to explain that to you," I say. Everyone looks at me expectantly. The rich mzungu speaks. He speaks the truth and it doesn't sound too good. "First of all, I have to tell you that there is no ugali (maize flour) in Europe. We feed the maize to the chickens and pigs."
A big grumble sets in. I continue. "If there is maize, that is, this flour, it costs 300 shillings. Let's start with. Let's look at the earnings. I admit that sounds good in Kenya. A small income is around 100,000 shillings. Sounds good I assume that nobody here earns that much in a month. "
Approving hum.
"Now we have to look at what we can do or afford with 100,000 shillings. Let's take a few examples. For example, transport. If I drive into town from here, I'll pay 100 shillings. The same route at home costs 250 shillings. If I take a taxi this distance it costs 800 shillings. Let's see. 1 kilogram of bread costs between 150 and 450 shillings. Butter costs 280 shillings and that's a quarter of a kilo. "
A young man says: "It costs 50 shillings from here to town!"
I'm surprised! “I have to pay Mzungu price.” I can only shrug my shoulders. You have to be used to getting shit.
"I pay 5000 shillings a month for electricity and gas," I continue. "Now we have to look at the income. 100,000 schillings are not too much. With this income you can make ends meet, you can't really afford anything. I still have to pay the rent and it has to be. For 60 m2 you have to about 50,000 shillings are paid and that is still cheap. I can safely say that my pension is not particularly large, it is a little more than the minimum pension, but still so low that I get a compensation payment. Finally, one more thing, that nobody knows. It was in the newspaper yesterday. Anyone who earns less than 1240 euros belongs to the poor. In Austria there are 80,000 people who are poor, and we are less than 9 million people.
It's true, there are rich mzungus. There are some with good work, who earn well, who can afford a lot. The majority scrapes past the poverty line. "
Big wonder sets in. Nobody can believe that.
"What does an installer earn?"
"An installer can count on 1,800 euros. That is gross."
"What does gross mean?"
"Gross earnings are the salary that you get on paper. From there you still have to pay taxes, insurance and don't know what else. Net, after all these deductions, you have about 1500 to 1600 euros over."
"That's not a lot. What does a plane ticket cost?"
"That depends on the time of year. The prices are not always the same, they fluctuate. If a lot of people fly, it gets more expensive. I paid 60,000 shillings."
An elderly man stands up. "Thank you! Now I know my way around."
They all go. The work is not a toad, it doesn't skip away, has to be done. I also go on my way. I just wonder where will my path lead me?
I saw the life inside your eyes
So shine bright, tonight you and I.
We're beautiful like diamonds in the sky
Maybe I saw that. I hope so for both of us. Goethe wrote it very aptly: '... women, they spin and weave, heavenly gifts in earthly life.'
Chapter 28
Tafuta vifaa vya ujenzi - search for building materials
But it's not so far to get there
One more thing to do, says vanity
But before I have a heart attack
Or find myself at forty wearing diapers
I'll be lying somewhere on the beach,
A bottle of red wine in my hand
And put my feet in the white sand
And sometime I'll just stay there ...
The dream goes on. Never stop dreaming. Dreams are like foams, they burst, some come true! You have to work on your dreams.
Where can I get the necessary building materials from? What we need at the beginning are stones, sand, cement, fiber, ... Where do I get them from? It is of course very good if the building materials are from the immediate vicinity and do not have to be transported from far away. So we're going to my building plot. There's a city not far away, so there should be something to do! The Fundi told us that he needs stones first. This is our first task.
We get out at the building site. I look around. There is a small supermarket, a pharmacy, then the hotel, or as we say, the restaurant. When I turn around, Patrick suddenly stands in front of me. I just wonder where it came from so suddenly? We greet each other. The monster tells him that we need stones for the foundation.
"See who's coming!" Says the monster and points in one direction. I look, there comes my aunt.
Another greeting.
The aunt is also informed.
"We need stones, ballast, cement ...," explains the monster.
It is discussed.
"Let's go to the hotel," says the monster, "we can talk better there."
We go to the hotel, look for a place. The waitress comes, the monster orders something to eat and drink.
"Stones are not a problem, they are lying around here, we just need to collect them. I have someone who can do that for that."
As a precaution, I ask: "How much will it cost?"
"I don't know, we'll ask."
After dinner we go to this man. Patrick, the monster and me, the aunt is going home again.
The way is not very far, soon we will have reached the place that is apparently our meeting point. A small stream flows, the road comes to an end. A rickety footbridge leads over the stream.
Nobody to see. Patrick calls out loud, but no answer. He picks up the phone and calls him. After a few minutes the man is there. He comes across the stream.
There is not much talk, Patrick tells him what we want, the man replies that is no problem. "Collecting the stones costs 2000."
I agree with that. Why not? Working a day isn't too much, I think.
Everything done, we go back satisfied.
We're going back. There is nothing more we can do here.
The monster is proud. "I told you, the stones are on the road, they just need to be collected!"
Right, she said that.
A few days later. A call from the construction site. The man has the stones together, now he needs a transport. I am a little surprised, as I had assumed that the stones would be brought to the construction site. It is not so!
We're going back to the construction site. There are other things that need to be done.
We get out of the Matatu and just like a few days before, Patrick suddenly stands in front of me. I didn't even notice him. Is that a ghost, this Patrick? He appears out of nowhere.
"Transportation is not a problem," he says. "There is someone who has a wagon who does it."
The aunt comes too. I can see them from afar. She can't go fast. Somehow I'm not surprised.
We're going back to the hotel. To eat and drink.
"It doesn't cost much to transport the stones," explains Patrick. "Only 5000."
I think that's a lot. If collecting the stones costs 2000, the transport cannot cost 2.5 times as much. The way is not far and the transport only takes a few minutes.
I make my objection. Excuses come back. The road is bumpy, the stones have to be loaded and unloaded. And what else do I know! I just find it strange that the good man collected stones, hasn't he already loaded them? He must have only marked them so that they can be found quickly. That's how easy it can be.
What can I do, I'll pay. A strange feeling remains in the stomach area.
The stones have been delivered. We're going there. This time with the Fundi. He can begin! I think so.
Patrick is back! I would have been surprised if he hadn't come.
We're going to the construction site. The Fundi looks at everything. Also look at the blueprint. Begins to measure.
"Where will the house be built?" He asks.
I'll show him the spot. He starts measuring again.
"Yes, that fits well," he says.
I am satisfied too.
"What we need now is a hut."
"Why this?"
"For the tools and for the workers! They can't go home, they have to sleep here."
"What kind of tools ?." I ask naively.
"We need tools to start building a house."
"Aha," I mean, "and you don't have any?"
So I learned that in Kenya no Fundi has a tool. In Europe it's the other way around, I don't have any tools, the Fundi has everything.
We go into town to buy the necessary material. The Fundi goes with you, he knows what he needs.
The building works alone cost 25,000 materials.
We drive back to the construction site.
What we still need is wood for the hut. We have the Mabati, nails, saws and a few other small parts too. Of course Patrick is there, he just knows everything! He has a tree to fell and then cut to size, costing 10,000 for the tree and 2,000 for the saw. Do not imagine that the tree is a huge tree, it is a small tree, a eucalyptus tree. Felling it takes time. There is a timber trade next to the construction site, I didn't know that, I could have got the wood immediately and cheaper too. But that's Patrick's business and it has to be worth it for him.
We often go to the construction site, there is a lot to do. Always something new.
Fundi was on the construction site for 3 days and built this hut. Cost me 4,000. His people are there, the building of the house can begin. His people are not enough, he needs helpers. The seller's brother, Patrick's son, the monster's son and a few others are there, they work with us. Everyone is hardworking, everyone is committed. I look at them. I am happy.
The foundation is ready. Took two weeks, but now it can go on.
We need bricks. That's a problem. Not easy. I have to fight against the monster and a ghost that is invisible but is still there. And the ghost has a name: Patrick.
I drive trucks with bricks past me. I say to the monster: "Call this company, ask what it costs."
She knows. "A brick costs 10 shillings."
We're going back to the construction site. Patrick reappears, out of nowhere he's back. We tell him what we need. Of course he knows what to do. I wasn't surprised either. Anything else would have surprised me, but not that!
"There is a farmer who burns bricks."
I also think we should call this company, but the monster doesn't hear.
We go to the farmer. Not far from the hotel. The bricks are small, not as big as the ones on the truck!
"A brick costs 7 shillings," says the man.
There is not much difference, 3 shillings! In order to be able to decide something, I need to have more information.
I'm not saying yes, I'm saying that I don't have any money at the moment, that I have to get one first.
We're going, we're going back.
You cannot compete, cannot compete
With a person with a mouth
That's right, I am powerless against a ghost.
Draw your attention to something noticeable that she should call after all, she does not call. Not possible!
What I've noticed so far is simply explained.
Everything Patrick says is law, it must be obeyed. My opinion just doesn't count! Patrick doesn't build the house. He makes all agreements, without him nothing goes here! He is there everywhere, has his hands in the game everywhere.
Being fought is usual, do not let it bother you
You are a tree with fruits, get used to the stones
Cry a little, then be quiet that the pain will end
When you continue, you confuse them more
The monster and I are sitting in the hotel. We are waiting for our order. I am a little surprised that Patrick or the aunt are not there. It's strange! I take the opportunity and ask the monster: "Who is this Patrick?"
"Why do you ask?"
"He's always there and what he says fits."
"I don't know him. He's just a kind man who wants to help us."
I have to swallow that, there is nothing else to do.
"I didn't ask him for help. If I need help, I ask for help. I have the feeling that he makes his profit with me. Without him, it doesn't work!"
"He just wants to help!"
"I thought he was a relative of yours."
"This is my first time to see him."
Patrick comes, behind him the aunt.
We eat, talk. First over the bricks. The monster did not call, and my request to ask another brickmaker was not granted either. I would have wondered too. After some discussion, I make it clear that I will buy the bricks from this farmer. Patrick and the monster are happy. They achieved what they wanted.
The next problem is much more delicate. Now that construction begins, it will be necessary to have someone to look at and monitor the daily construction progress. The construction workers must be controlled.
I mean: "I have the Fundi, who is responsible. I have a contract with him, if not in writing, but also verbally and I pay him weekly. I will fire him if I am not satisfied."
The monster knows better. "We have a construction site here with some material. A lot of bricks, cement, stones, wheelbarrows, shovels, hoes and so on. That is a value that must also be protected. If we do not check every day, then we lose a lot . They drag everything away! "
These are of course arguments. In Kenya in particular, they are absolutely correct. I know that everything is taken here that is not solid.
I say: "I know that! It's not new, people are stealing in Europe too. Kenya is no exception. And I expect it too. Someone will take cement, another some bricks, that will be difficult to control. With that I do the math. "
The discussion goes back and forth. Without really moving from the spot.
The monster is not satisfied with the service. She calls the manager, gives him a long lecture on how the service should be and that she has a lot of experience in this area.
"Thank you, Madame, for your advice, I will take it into account." A friendly manager.
We go. It's afternoon and it's time to go home. In front of the hotel the monster suddenly says: "I think that will be the best, Patrick and my aunt do the supervision together. What do you think of that?"
Everyone is looking at me. I shrug my shoulders. The monster takes that as approval. For me it is a great resignation, nothing else!
"The payment? What do you think 50,000 are OK. 50,000 for Patrick and 50,000 for my aunt? That's okay!"
I just nod. Everyone is smiling, maybe grinning too. What do I know!
The bus is coming, we get on, drive home.
Then pick up your faith and return to the fight
When they see you to say you have become tough
Let them speak, let them talk about you
For there is a God that will shut their mouths
We're back. The bricks have to be bought. Patrick is back, suddenly standing in front of me as if risen.
We go to the farmer. Not far from his farm is a lake, not big, just a bigger Lacke. Does not look good.
"You can go swimming here," says the monster. "Is the lake deep?" She asks the farmer.
He has to think, then, after a while, he says: "It's deep."
I leave it that way. It doesn't matter either.
We go to the bricks, look at us. I have to admit, I don't know my way around. Bricks are a mystery to me.
We're going into a house.
The farmer is asking me for 70,000. I refuse.
He says: "10,000 bricks makes 70,000!"
"That's right, only 1. I don't buy 10,000 bricks now, and 2. I don't have the money. I buy 1000 bricks. I don't need any more at the moment."
The monster is surprised. "Why only 1000? That's not enough!"
"Even if I want to, I can't. I don't have the money and until these 1,000 bricks are used up I'll buy the next."
"That doesn't work! We need 10,000 bricks!"
"Maybe, but not tomorrow."
"We agreed!"
"You made it, not me! That's not the point! I can't pay!"
"1000 bricks are not enough. That must be more!"
She is thinking. Strained.
"OK, we're going to buy 5,000 bricks now. Is that possible?" And turning to the farmer, she says: "Leave something behind! You see we have problems."
The farmer goes down with the price. Now one brick costs less. That helps me.
I'll get the money out of my pocket and pay him the price. The farmer counts, is satisfied, pocketed it.
The monster would like to have a receipt, of course there is no such thing. Again she gives a long talk about the importance of keeping records. I'm just afraid the farmer has never heard of it. Your lecture is getting on my nerves. I have to say something. "In case you didn't know, there's just black money here, it doesn't appear anywhere."
People look surprised. What should I do? What is right is just right.
We go. We stop in front of the house. The farmer goes behind the house with the monster, a private conference! What should that? What do they have to discuss so secretly? What's going on I do not know and will not find out.
If words were able to pierce this body
Then my body would be full of wounds
In the war of words, there are generals
If you were to compete, you will lose
Now comes the transport. Not that easy in a country like Kenya.
We're going to the hotel. I need a beer. Unsurprisingly, Patrick has someone for the transport. It's a younger man.
I ask him: "How much?"
He says: "10000."
I'm pissed off. That's just too much!
"You can leave."
I have nothing more to discuss with him.
The monster is mad at me. "Why are you so stubborn, let's negotiate!"
It doesn't matter either, the young man doesn't go, he doesn't have permission from Patrick or the monster, he stays seated.
"He says 7000 now!" Translates the monster.
Patrick looks excited.
"I said he could go. I have nothing more to talk to him about. It's over."
"How should the bricks get to the building site?"
"Leave them where they are."
That sits!
Patrick is the first to realize this deal is over. He dismisses the young man. That works too. He did not do his job or performance. Patrick jumps up, runs away. He has to save the business! The monster looks angry, is confused about my appearance. It doesn't take long before Patrick comes back. He has a new offer. It costs 5000 now. Even that is too much, but I agree. The monster is relieved, so is Patrick. What I would like to know is how much of those 5000 he can take. That he is holding up the hand is obvious. Nothing works without his consent! If he wants he can prevent the whole building.
The human, the man has an issue with the tongue
If you teach it silence, you will not lose
My friend, what is your problem?
Why lie? Fear God
If God judged by listening to words
Then what of pregnancies that are talked about a lot
If God judged by listening to gossip
Then I would advise you my minister to close the church
Sand. We need sand! Where to take, if not steal? I don't know! The monster says a load of sand costs 25,000. I have to repeat it, I don't know. What I've learned in the past few days is that everyone is taking advantage of me. Patrick is doing his business! If he has his hand in the game, everything costs double. So I have to be careful.
"25000 ?," I am amazed, "is very nice! The sand hardly costs anything, it is fetched from a river somewhere."
"That's right," says the monster, "the sand costs nothing, but the transport!"
Yes, the transport! Again and again the transport. I already know that from the stones and bricks.
"It gets expensive especially when your friend Patrick has a hand in it."
The monster snapped. Not too long, she knows what's right. The mzungus are all idiots anyway! So what is it for?
I'll leave it as it is, as I always do.
I do research on the internet. I have few opportunities to make myself smart here. Everything is kept away from me. Could harm me! I still find out something. Partly from the Internet, partly from friends I meet on my walk, with whom I talk. They give me information. Soon I'll know the price of a truckload of sand. The price is 6000.
I confront the monster with this news.
"That is definitely not good sand," she says.
"That can be, but the difference remains. It's a long way from 6000 to 25000. I think that the quality of the sand is not the decisive factor. There is someone who wants to enrich himself."
Who can it be?
I guess it's the monster and she's using Patrick for it.
Nevertheless, the sand has to be chewed. We need two truckloads. With 6000 it doesn't work that doesn't surprise me, it costs 12000! So twice as expensive.
"Why is the sand so expensive," I ask. I know, a stupid question, but what the heck? A Mzugu is lost in this land.
The answer is simple. "The sand comes from far away."
A stupid question, a stupid answer. A mzungus got it!
Jesus, this Jesus did not defend himself
Though they talked with evil intents, He forgave them
And you forgive them, and pray for them
For they do not know ..?
We are sitting in the hotel. Clouds are gathering, it will rain. I can feel it in my bones. We, that's the monster, the Fundi and me. We discuss how the house should be built. We'll come to an agreement pretty soon, there isn't much to discuss. The house construction will be done in stages. Each level costs 55,000.
Now the Fundi comes with a wish.
"What about a meal allowance?"
I am surprised because the architect has already said that this is not common in Kenya. I tell him that too.
"We're not at home, we can't go home to eat there. And it's more expensive in the hotel."
This is common in Europe. I know that. It's not new to me.
"What do you have in mind?"
"200 a day!"
To make this story short, I agree. Let them be happy.
Palms rise to the universe
As we moonshine and molly
Feel the warmth, we'll never die
We're like diamonds in the sky
A few days later I found out that I had agreed to where it was, without really knowing what the impact would be. In short, I was ripped off again. The monster didn't say anything either, just smiled and agreed.
Chapter 29
Ziara - a visit
Remember it is a promise that a day is coming
That every word from your mouth with be brought to account
It's Sunday morning. I'm still lying on my bed, the sun is shining through the window. It's a beautiful day. I am happy that for me it means that my walk will be quite pleasant.
I hear noise, a motorcycle bothers me. The noise stops outside the window. Somehow I feel disturbed.
Everyone is up already, I can hear the children on the porch. It's over now. I know it!
Someone is coming into the house. I hear talking. I hear the monster talking. Hear strange voices. So there were several visitors. I don't want to go out, I want to have my peace and quiet, and I'm not interested in visitors who come so early. Usually Jigsaw comes and gets me.
"Come out there is someone you need to get to know!"
That is usually their announcement. She's not coming today. I find it strange, but it doesn't bother me. So I lie there, read the news on my smartphone. Post some messages on Facebook.
I hear the talking. I'm slowly wondering what is this about? Who are these visitors?
Curious as I am, I get up and go into the kitchen. On the way to the kitchen I have to pass the living room. There is a curtain hanging there through which I can see and be seen. There are two people sitting there, a man and a woman, both a little older. I wave my hand. (If my trainer knew that, she already had problems with me then. She always said: “Damn cool, way too cool!” Today she would have enjoyed me.) People wave back. I lie down again.
You talk to the monster, don't understand a single word, from where, don't speak this language. After a longer period of time, they leave, or rather, the motorcycle starts, makes noise, drives away.
I go into the living room. The monster is there.
"Who was that?", "I ask.
"They were Joy's parents," she replies.
Joy comes by sometimes. She has also stayed here a few times.
"What do you want?"
"You want Joy back."
I'm a little confused, I thought, that Joy is a relative.
"I don't understand! What's that supposed to mean 'got back'?"
"Joy is not from here, she comes from far away. The parents have now come two hours on the motorcycle, now they are going back."
"What's going on there?"
"Joy doesn't want to be with her parents. They are strict. Now she's gone here, she lives with us."
"She's very young, doesn't she have to go to school?"
"She will go to school."
"What do you have to do with it?"
"I'm the head of the family."
"What did you tell them?"
"Joy is old enough to decide for herself."
I am more than confused by this communication.
I say, "It's none of your business. Don't get involved in other family matters, they're none of your business. You have your own problems."
We're beautiful like diamonds in the sky
Eye to eye, so alive
We're beautiful like diamonds in the sky
Shine bright like a diamond
The time to have breakfast has come.
I have to go back a little so that everyone can understand me.
A mzungu eats differently than the Kenyans. We cannot imagine life without bread. In Kenya you only eat it for breakfast. But that's just by the way.
Me, and that applies only to me, other people may eat completely differently. I like to eat cheese. Coincidentally there is one in the supermarket. There are only two types, cheddar and mozzarella. Well, I don't like cheddar, I much prefer mozzarella. So I buy mozzarella, what else?
For breakfast I get a tomato salad, or as we say tomato salad, peppered with mozzarella cubes. That's what I wished for. I start to eat. Skydiver is here, watch me. She is of course curious what the mzungu eats, which she has never seen before. It must cost. Takes a piece of mozzarella in her fingers, looks around, everyone is holding their breath. Skydiver puts the cheese cube in his mouth. Chews, grimaces, spits out the cheese cube.
The same thing happens with the olive. Olives are very good, especially with the tomato salad with mozzarella. The same procedure. Skydiver must of course cost. I would have wondered if she would not have done it. Everyone is holding their breath, watching intently. She puts the olive in her mouth. She chews, she eats. No spitting, nothing at all! My mouth stays open in amazement! Skydiver grabs another olive! Everyone is amazed. Everyone is watching her, her face doesn't turn green, gray, or yellow. She likes it!
That was once. Today we have breakfast together. In the meantime, she has also found a taste for mozzarella. We always eat together, she chooses the delicacies, so the mozzarella cubes and the olives, I can have the rest.
We're like diamonds in the sky
At first sight I felt the energy of sun rays
I saw the life inside your eyes
So shine bright, tonight you and I.
Chapter 30
Upendo na usumbufu mwingine - love and other inconveniences
Ah, baby come to my bedroom
Oh, come to my bedroom
I want to show you something
That you've never seen, never seen, yeah, yeah
Today I have to write about something that is not that simple, namely love. It is not easy to write about love. Before we go any further, we have to say what love I am writing about. There are some loves, for example there is love for his nation, his country, his homeland; then there is the love for art, for nature, for one's parents. I don't want to write about this love here. I write about love between people, regardless of who it is, woman and man, woman and woman, man and man. We are all human and when we love we love fully.
Girl, I promise I will never make you cry
For your matter, I go fight till I die
You're the queen, let me give you crown
And your skin baby sweet brown, ah
I think I remember the Bible saying that man is the strong sex. That's rubbish! Totally wrong! It's the women! In Paradise Eve seduced Adam. He ate the sweet fruit and it wasn't the apple! Divine Providence is not a current, not an anomaly in the order of the world. It is order itself. Or rather, it is the ordering principle of this universe. It is the eternal, only wisdom that extends through the entire universe in an unlimited network of relationships.
That's right, the relationship puzzles us, and how!
Let me tell you about the monster.
The monster was cheerful, lively, refreshing. I noticed again that the fine, almost delicate oval of her face. She was a thoroughly strong and healthy woman, but her shape, for all her beauty, had the swelling curves of living power. When I took a closer look at her face, I also discovered that it was only the lines of the oval itself that made it appear so delicate. It was fine, but not weak. Her red mouth arched in a subdued smile. It lies like the stigma of a tropical flower, crowned with a light red, in an ivory-colored face. The eyes shimmer large and dark, and the shadows of the long, lashed lids cover them. In the neck and shoulders, however, the curls of the loose, black hair curl.
She like the way I know how to control
When am wrong I know how to say sorry
I tell her baby you know me better so please don't worry
She like my swag of cause am young
And I know how to play with my tongue
My baby she don't need my paper
she got on, she got on
For my baby I go be undertaker
I always liked to bite her on the neck.
And there we are already on the subject: sex.
She like the way I call her my baby
I like the way she move on my bed
She told me baby yes am ready
I gave her everything now she's ready
Sex is great, but do you know the feeling when you hold her tightly in your arms, her head nestles against your chest and then she gives you a kiss? That is security. And worth a lot. Has this happened to you yet? Never me!
Friendship is also important. Friendship is a star, while love ... well, I have the comparison ... love is just a candle. There are different types.
Of love?
No, from candles.
Most people's friendship is a preparation for enmity.
True, love only exists once, true love! Love is everything in our life. There is no happiness without love. What is happy Wasn't there a snake even in Paradise, and would Eva have listened to it if she had been completely happy beforehand?
Some boys have the sickness of love gently and easily. Others, if they develop the fever, become fatally ill; or when they recover, they will carry the signs of illness to the grave or to old age.
"Love is a serious mental illness." This is what the philosopher Plato meant. I think love is the healthiest of all diseases.
Almost everyone knows the feeling when the stomach fills with butterflies and the head becomes so wonderfully light. You want to sing and dance and the problems that were just building up like gray clouds in our firmament dissolve into sheer pleasure. There is only one explanation for this: We are in love!
What is love? That question sounds so simple. But is it really that simple? We all talk and read so much about love and we often use the term love so thoughtlessly and carelessly. But what actually is love? Love comes, mostly all by itself, that would be desirable. But it does not stay, it goes again, disappears, can no longer be found. Love, isn't that a real illusion? Who thought about it? What is love? Is it a relationship Is it a feeling
Before love comes you have to fall in love first. What does it mean to fall in love or to be in love?
It is usually written on the face of lovers when they are in love. The look is dreamy, people in love smile more often, are in a good mood, they talk enthusiastically about their crush. Or you will notice the excitement when two lovers meet. The work is done as soon as possible or simply postponed, with sparkling eyes and joyful expectation, thinking ahead of time and with a noticeably rising pulse, they set out in a hurry to see the beloved as quickly as possible. To be with your darling, to talk to each other and to go for a walk holding hands. Why is that so? Out of love.
Love is a feeling that connects one person with another in a relationship that cannot be described. Lovers of love are primarily concerned with making the other happy. Those who have deep love for one another find it difficult to be apart for even a short period of time. They are ready to forget most of their other relationships and sacrifice them for the sake of their love. They are ready to die for one another, and history teaches us that sometimes it actually does happen. Love is therefore an emotional bond that can never be described, but only experienced.
Why do we fall in love Why do we need another person? Can't we love ourselves for who we are? Can't we exist alone What role does chemistry play in making two people fall in love? And why do we fall in love with this person in particular? Love is a mystery.
Try explaining the taste of sugar to someone who has never tasted anything sweet. You will not succeed. To do this, the other person must first taste the sugar themselves. Likewise, love can never be explained in words. You have to experience it yourself to know this feeling of happiness.
It is not that easy to explain love. In essence, it can only be hinted at what love is. Love is the strongest appreciation and affection that exceeds the purpose of an interpersonal relationship. Falling in love, on the other hand, is something completely different. Infatuation is time dependent. Well, a careful observer can see it in our face, behavior, deduce that something is wrong with us, that we are in an extraordinary state. The observer can now conclude that we are in love. There may be other reasons that we behave so strangely. A positive result can also put a smile on our faces or a medical finding that rules out anything bad. There are many ways to be happy. It also depends on the people. Not everyone is suitable for togetherness. For some people it is better that they stay alone, that doesn't mean they are lonely, they can still be happy. Togetherness is no guarantee of happiness.
Tell me how much I can give you so
You can switch your phone off
Your dress off, the lights off
Me and you just one on one
In this life, in this world of tears, you need a sense of humor.
I don't see why I should be the only one to do my duty in a moronic world.
nihil appetimus, nisi sub ratione bone; nihil aversamur, nisi sub ratione mali - we desire something only under the meaning of the good, we abhor something only under the meaning of the bad.
The monster, as much as she tried hard, in the end it didn't matter.
One day, it's a beautiful day, an afternoon, maybe she also needed something, she says to me: "I'm not going to let you go anymore. We are fine with you, we have enough to eat, you get along well my children, everything is fine. "
It's not a declaration of love! But what is it for? Better that than nothing at all. You shouldn't ask too much either. And I have to admit, I also took that very positively. If you had seen their eyes, they would have glowed like coal in a fire!
Georg Danzer sings: "Why do you think you have to plant whom
Suach there please ned grad mi
Wei i am called sea in a bad mood
And that's ned gua fia di
Suach da liaba equals aundas medium
Weu kill you
Look i picked up a knife Eigschdegd
Mia is wuascht - woun i di schdich-
Whether i wieda amoi stah fia a poa joa fon inside
Sick
Weu i raised duat mea known ois wia do
I schdich di o
Let mi in ruah, let mi anglahnt. "
That needs to be translated.
"If you think you have to plant whom
Please don't look for me
Because I am in a bad mood today
And that's not good for you
You'd better look for another medium right away
'Cause I'm gonna kill you
Look, I put a knife in my pocket
I don't care - if I stab you -
Whether I will be back inside stone (prison) for a few couple of years
see
Because I know more there than like there
I stand you off.
Let me in ruah, let me anglahnt "
We don't want to go that far.
Love is a very strange thing. Love can be beautiful Love can hurt too. It's just a fact of life. It's really complicated and confusing, but we already knew it was about love, and it's not easy. Someone has already warned of the dangers of love, but nothing could have prepared us for what we are going through. When we first fell in love with our partner, everything went so well. It was all so simple, natural, and effortless. It was a smooth ride in the rivers of affection and intimacy. But now the fresh water has been replaced by mud and now we don't know how to get out of this chaos.
We can feel our feelings and emotions subside day by day. We don't know what to do with ourselves. We don't know whether to feel guilty or relieved. We don't know if we should try harder or if we should just let go. It's all very confusing for us and we're a little disoriented.
The fact is that some people just fall out of love and we just have to learn to accept them. We fall in love with our partner and we both have a choice. Either we try to make things work, or we risk taking things out of a doomed relationship, or we just give up everything we built together and move on to new things entirely.
Making a decision is never easy, but it is definitely a necessary one. And let's remember that this is never a decision we should make if we are still unsure of our emotions. We need to gain an understanding of what we are feeling so that we can figure out how to move forward. If we are still not sure about the state of our emotions, it may be necessary to take a break. A brief separation of the table and bed can work wonders. The head has to be clear to be able to think about the emotions. A short separation has already helped many couples. Love is not forever Love comes, it weakens when the daily grind enters the relationship. If you want to keep love alive, you have to work hard on it.
Baby your body that kill me
Take over your daddy your bikini
Make you turn around baby look at me
I wanna show you something you never see
At best, or a really deep love, should and can result in marriage.
Relationship and marriage forms a very basic stage of each and every person's existence. That is that be it you are a man or a woman, their always comes a time when you feel like you need someone by your side in life. This is actually somebody to keep you accompanied and enable you acquire all that it takes with being in a relationship. It's always a source of the best or the worst moments in each and every person in life. Unfortunately, we live in a biased society where when someone engaged with someone, people look at you as if you have lost the way in life. No, this is something that we should adore and start facing reality of nature where we do things as they are supposed to be.
If your girlfriend can do just anything for money avoid taking such woman to marriage because she might never help you to save. any woman who can do anything for money will always be wasteful.
A woman obsessed with material things would certainly not make the best wife. If all she cares about are material possession over family, faith and spiritual fulfillment, then she will not make the best partner.
Avoid marrying any lady who find it difficult to stay faithful to you. one mistake that can kill a man is to marry flirts as a wife, for you to live long you most marry a woman who stays for you.
While some naturally women like attention, when it becomes an obsession, then it is not a good idea. A good husband makes sure he has time for his wife, but this cannot happen 100percent of the time so a good wife should understand that.
go be your only lover, lover
Call me when you need that sugar, sugar
I will never leave your side, oh never
Chapter 31
Windows na milango kwa ajili ya breeze safi - windows and doors for a breath of fresh air
Anything you want baby
I swear me I go do for you
Be my tea I go be your bedi
I no go leave baby without you
Long before the sun hit the river with its first rays, the milky mists began to rise cool and ghostly from the water. As the darkness drifted over the ridges, the sky too took on that milky hue, streaked with alabaster, and the chaos of the birds rose. It flared to the east and a bright, rosy glow fell over the river. A morning wind, suddenly leaping up, brushed the willows, bathed them in silver white, died again, and now the earth took its first blissful breath. Like a ebbing tide, the shadows slid back from the embankment, the hollows and stones, every object visible in the sharp light of the morning.
And now the sun hit the highest treetops with all the might of its golden whole.
This is how I experience this morning. A wonderful day is coming. It had rained last night. The sun dries the damp earth. Everything is green!
I have decided:
To trust you with a secret
To share my worries with you
Implying a smile to you.
And tomorrow?
Tomorrow, I don't know (Erich Kästner)
We have breakfast. It will be a wonderful day, I am sure of it.
"We don't have everything yet," says the monster.
"What's still missing?" I ask.
"What is still missing? Think! The foundation is in place, the walls will soon be in place, we have to take care of where to order the doors and windows."
"You're right, it's time. Do you have an idea?"
"I have a friend who makes doors and windows!"
Of course, I should have guessed it too.
"Where is this friend?"
"Here, not far away."
"Let's go, it doesn't cost anything to ask!"
Said and done. After breakfast we take a copy of the blueprint and go to the friend.
He has his workshop in a side street. Nothing big, a small workshop. Two people are working on the floor. I look at this, I am amazed that a right angle can be achieved here. Nowhere a square measure, nowhere a vice ... and still something comes out. They are wizards! As a European, I have to take off my hat in admiration. Honor where honor is due.
But, enough of that, this report has to go on.
The acquaintance is a friendly, middle-aged man. We say hello and the monster gives him the blueprint.
"When can we find out the price?"
"Morning."
Eh, only you dey make me feel what I feel
I feel so right
I swear you the one, you gat my feelings
When you hold me tight
Next morning we go to the friend. He did his calculation.
"What does it matter?" Asks the monster.
"120,000." The acquaintance looks at me expectantly.
What can I say? I have no idea what these windows and doors cost.
I thank myself. "I will think about it." What else?
We continue. After a few steps, the monster asks: "Good price, it's definitely not bad!"
"It can be, but it doesn't have to be!"
"What you up to?"
"We still have to ask who else! One offer is not enough."
The monster nods.
Baby kachiri, kachiri, kachiri saga
Slow down give me beef burger
Kachiri, kachiri, kachiri saga
Go down give me that burger
Having lunch. That stew, githerie, I think. Not bad. Without a subsequent beer, however, not so tasty. But it still tastes good.
The monster goes away. After a long time she comes back. She shines.
"I spoke to the man from the windows. I told him this offer was too expensive. Now he thought again and went down with the price. 100,000. What do you think of that now?"
"Not bad, but I still want a second offer."
She's taken aback.
We leave the topic.
You are paradise
When you get that close to my screen
I just realize
You are the one I saw in my dream
It's time to drive to the construction site. See what's new. I did not accept Patrick and the aunt as supervisors. It is normal for the Fundis to take something with them, it also happens in Europe and all over the world. It's not new, just shouldn't get out of hand.
We pass two workshops, I see people at work.
"Just ask here what the windows and doors cost!"
"We don't have time now, I'll take care of it later."
That was all.
That's the way it is for us Mzugus.
Baby kwa bedi am the king of control
I go take you to mummy first of all
Mmmh you do me everything I like beiby
The monster goes to a meeting. She takes me with her. I'm waiting. Walk around pass the time On the right, next to the house entrance, there is also a workshop, that makes me curious. I ask Fundi what the cost of this door that they have just manufactured.
"65,000." he replies.
I thank myself. "This is too expensive!"
That’s Kenya!
He does not give up. Maybe that's the good thing. What do I know!
Now I know the price for windows and doors. For my house, it shouldn't be more than 45,000.
You can't leave me alone! I get lost there.
You got me fall in love
You got me fall in love ooh
See you are the one I've been waiting for
Someone like you I've never seen before
I no go tell you lies
And the unfortunate man believed everything the other wanted without thinking. What do I see in everything? Mysteries that make the common sense shudder. Grotesque ceremonies that can only arouse disgust. But let's take a closer look at this ridiculous accumulation of lies and cheek. I will ask questions and you should answer them if you can.
Chapter 32
Nataka kukuoa - I want to marry you
Son: "I want to live forever."
Father: "Get married."
Son: "And then do I live forever?"
Father: "No, but the wish disappears."
It will come as it has to come. It always has to be that way. Tragic turn.
Ah, baby come to my bedroom
Oh, come to my bedroom
I want to show you something
That you've never seen, never seen, yeah, yeah
Afternoon. Rain. Wet and cold. I have nowhere to go, no walk is possible. I read and I write. My new book is slowly taking shape.
The monster is in the kitchen, I hear her fiddling with the pots. You'd think it's a peaceful, rainy day.
The monster comes to me. Sit down with me.
"We should go to my parents' house. It is good to visit them once," she explains to me.
I can understand that, we are together for a few months. We decide to visit them one day. We buy some things that we, or rather, I can give as gifts. Coming empty-handed is certainly not a good thing.
You dey bust my medulla
In the morning mpaka night my beiby
You be teaching me how to love
"Burning hot desert sand, far away, so far away from home ..." I don't remember who sang that, but this song comes to mind as we drive to the monster's parents. The matatu is full. A sardine would certainly have more space in the can than I would. It is so full that the conductor can no longer close the door, he has to be outside.
We are well received.
I have to admit it here, I'm a little nervous. Visiting the monster's parents like this can have consequences, and I fear them.
So we get out of the tin can (matatu). We are not quite there yet. We still have to ride the motorcycle.
We have arrived. We are expected. I enter the house. Like all houses in Kenya, it is dark inside. Little light comes in through the small windows. At first I don't see anything. The eyes have to get used to the darkness first. After a few seconds I see a giant standing in the middle of the room.
"This is my papa!" Introduces the monster to the giant.
I go to him, give him my hand.
"How's the air up there?" I ask him.
He didn't get the joke! If we leave that, it was definitely not a good joke.
We sit down. I see that a table is set up. Everything is ready, food and drink. Well done guys!
We're talking. Nothing is specifically spoken about there. He asks me if I would have served. Served where, with whom? Do not understand this question. He says whether I was in the military. I say no, I don't like the military. Later the monster and mom go out, and I'm alone with dad. I am curious what will come next! We talk around the bush. Dad wants to know something about my home country, I'll tell him something, show him pictures. It's very funny.
After a while, the monster and her mom come back. Time to eat.
After dinner we sit in the room. Dad across from me.
"It's time to go!" Says the monster.
"Let's go," I reply.
The monster comes to me, kneels down in front of me, looks into my eyes, says: "Do you have something for my parents?"
"What should I have? "
"Give them a little something."
Slowly I understand. In Kenya you don't give flowers, you give away money!
"I don't have much with me, as you know! Are 1000 enough?"
"Yes, that's enough."
I give the monster the money, she gives it to her father. Apparently he's satisfied.
We say goodbye, we're going home.
Asa whine up your waist, whine up your waist
Give it to me, give it to me -
Whine up your waist, whine up your waist
Give it to me, give it to me -
I was afraid that the father would bring the language to a possible wedding, which he did not. I am grateful to him for that. I need some time to calm down. My skull hummed as if I had really been hit with a Kondschuki ram against a huge ritual bell in a Zen temple. Strange, but that's how I feel.
Baby come to my bedroom
Oh, come to my bedroom
I want to show you something
That you've never seen, never seen, yeah
The night is a bit restless for me. Too many thoughts go through my head. A man should be very careful about such things. Most of the time, people in a relationship do some things that are not ideal for the man they are in a relationship. One of those things is when she likes to ask you for money. Giving is part of a partnership and as such should be encouraged in a relationship. Anyway, that's right, but you should be careful because she is after your money and doesn't really love you. Let's be careful with every woman.
Girl I like the way you do me
That slow slow, you never rush
I swear I no go tire
Gimme more, more my woman crush, oh come
In the morning, not so early, the phone rings. I hear it. The monster is talking to someone. I don't know who it is. I think it's nothing important. What a mistake!
A little later the monster comes to me. Sit down next to me, look at me tenderly and then completely surprisingly say: "I will marry you!"
What a surprise! A stroke couldn't have been worse!
Not every friendship should lead to a relationship, but every relationship should lead to a marriage. Relationship is a premarital commitment that shows what marriage will be like. So the intention of a relationship is marriage, not just fun, because relationship means an emotional bond with the opposite sex! A relationship is about unraveling your partner's secret. When I enter into a relationship with someone, I probably always want that relationship to last. I always want to have intimate relationships that are designed for the long term. Unfortunately there will be some of us who are also afraid of engagement; those who are also afraid of becoming attached to someone for a long period of time. And the only person I want to get emotionally involved with is someone that I know will be my life partner. Proverbs 21: 9 says, "It is better to live in the corner of a house than in a house shared with a quarrelsome woman." According to God's plan, you become one flesh whoever you marry with. We should all be careful when it comes to deciding who to marry. A woman has the power to either make a partner's life pleasant and beautiful, or to destroy it. A false marriage can be a major obstacle to your own destiny. There are many people who were doing very well in life until they got married. Since a compromise is required in marriage, I must find a spouse whose vision and fate do not contradict my own. Proverbs 18:22 says, "Whoever finds a wife,
Life is no picnic, some have already failed and will be.
Allow me to make you my wife
Teamo teamo
I want to spend all my life with you
Nishachoka kuwa bachela
Ooh ooh bachela
Japo maisha ya kisela
Yananipa raha aah
I think I know what women need, or rather I hope to know. Women don't need partners who spend all of their time showing them how manly, macho, or admirable they are. This is arguably debilitating to women, although there are some who indulge in such behavior. They only want men who treat them fairly as well as men who keep the romantic flame alive. Romance sure is an important thing. I think there is no way of knowing whether two people are a good match or not. Nobody can reliably predict the human heart. The love that grows will tell whether hearts grow together or not. The partners must have qualities because they are lovers. What qualities do I expect? Well there are some. Open communication, trust, Honesty and taking responsibility are certainly important. Those who do not communicate cannot communicate with their loving partner, this can lead to undesirable tension. The emotional maturity, close friendship, kindness and support, understanding, compassion and patience are very important. It is necessary to have compassion and give. The lovers have to understand each other, everything does not always go smoothly. There is conflict everywhere. Perhaps the most important thing now is to meet the intimate connection. Women especially need this from intimate partners. Of course, the relationship doesn't work without sex. A fulfilling sex life is extremely important. And that brings me to a very important point: conjugal intercourse. I am already old and you, my beautiful one, no longer young. To achieve that, what we want to achieve we have to work together. That means everything has to fit in our future sex life.
This is how it looks and no different. I have to face reality, it hurts, but it is necessary and certainly not wrong.
Everything has to fit! That is exactly the question! Does everything fit? A question that cannot (yet) be answered with certainty.
Chapter 33
Benki - the bank
If you ask a man for small change, he gives you a lecture about the begotten and the unbegotten; if you ask about the price of bread, you get the answer that the father is greater than the son; if you ask whether the bath is prepared, the answer is that the son was created out of nothing. (Gregory of Nyssa)
I already have some things, a piece of land, a house is being built, a bride who is eager to marry me. What more do I want? What is still missing for happiness? What every builder lacks: a bank account. Without a bank account it will be difficult. So we go to the bank.
The lady there is very friendly. The monster asks where ivh have to go to apply for a bank account. We go there, have to wait some time, then it is my turn. I am sent back to the friendly lady.
"Please give me your data," she demands from me.
I write them down on a piece of paper, give it to her. She looks it over, then says, "You have to give the PIN!"
I don't understand, of course. "What is that, PIN?"
Every Kenyan knows the PIN, that's the 'Personal Identification Number ', almost every Kenyan has it, it's used to pay taxes, so it's from the finance.
"Where do I get it?"
The friendly lady tells me. I can't remember now what this building is called, not by any stretch of the imagination!
Doesn't really matter. We go there. I can't find this building on my own. Like any tax office, it is a large, imposing building.
The entrance is a bit difficult, security checks. Bags have to stay outside. Finally we are in the building. We don't know our way around, have to ask. Finally we are directed to a counter, we are at our destination, I think. Far from it! The lady at the counter tells me that there is no PIN for foreigners! I am a bit confused. I bought a land, I build a house and I don't get a PIN? The lady still says that if I give her 50,000, she will give me the PIN. I am stubborn, I refuse. The Kenyan tax office surely wants something from me, not I want something from the tax office. We leave again.
I ask a friend, who says I should talk to the boss, not to an employee. That's what I do.
The boss is a boss! Not bad either. A somewhat chubby, middle-aged woman.
I make it short. She wants 20,000, then she gives me the PIN.
So I decide that the tax office can slide down my hump. In good Viennese, it can kiss my ass.
What is strange in this country is the fact that simple things like opening a bank account is impossible, in other parts of this wonderful world, that is no problem. But this is Kenya and here you scratch your left cheek with your right hand!
If you have time and let time pass, you lose a friend and never get any money.
Chapter 34
Maisha huenda kwa njia yake, ujenzi wa nyumba Pia - Life goes its way, so does the construction of the house.
Of course I have to go to the construction site to see if everything is going the right way.
The bricks are not there yet. I have my doubts that really all bricks will be delivered. Nothing can be ruled out!
Girl, I promise I go never make you cry
For your matter, I go fight till I die
You're the queen, let me give you crown
And your skin baby sweet brown, ah
Patrick is still at work. As I said before, you just can't do anything without him!
"I just want to know how many bricks I'm getting screwed out of here," I remark dryly, as is my way.
The monster is talking to Patrick. As usual, I can't understand it.
The monster explains to me: "Nobody is stealing your bricks. I told Patrick that the bricks have to be put down so you can count them."
I have to laugh.
"Nobody does that. They'll come, throw them off the truck bed. There's just going to be a pile."
"Patrick's going to do that. I told him and he'll do it."
All I can do is shake my head.
Tell me how much I can give you so
You can switch your phone off
Your dress off, the lights off
Me and you just one on one
The foundation is ready. The people did a good job.
We ask the fundi where he wants the bricks. He shows me the place. Why should I care about that? I ask myself.
To the fundi I say: "It's your job to show the right place. You have to work with the bricks, not me."
What's wrong with that? Actually, nothing at all! Most of the time I'm not there, so what's the point? The fundi gets his job, he has to do it, if he doesn't, he doesn't get paid. It's as simple as that. So he is a fundi and supervisor in one. Is that a good thing? However, I have to know something so that I don't get ripped off (cheated) too much.
Hivi kwanini nijitutumue
Na dunia sio makazi
Vijineno neno vinisumbue
Hadi nishindwe kazi
Mama alisema mkuku kwa nguruwe
Kuishi na watu kazi
Another day. We are back at the construction site. The bricks have been delivered. It is a pile and nothing is chipped. When I see this I have to laugh.
The monster is evil. She's a little excited. She talks to Patrick. He answers her, shrugs his shoulders.
Nobody knows how many bricks have really been delivered. It's a pile and, because I had already foreseen it, I had already checked. There are also piles of bricks being built where we live, and I asked how many bricks there were and remembered the approximate height of the pile. The pile here has pretty much the same height, so there won't be too much missing. Of course, this is not a measurement and has nothing to do with accuracy, it's just a tool.
Achambe atukane ata aniue
Nishasamehe mzani ni mzazi
Mwenzenu naficha naficha
Mengi ninayo yaona
Kifupi nafunika kombe
Nikiamini kesho nayo siku
Mapicha picha mapicha
Sidhani kama nitapona
Some are leaving, the foundation is ready, other fundis are coming. Helpers are needed less now, skilled workers take over. From now on, there are fewer people on the construction site.
Chapter 35
Kuolewa au kutoolewa, hilo ndilo swali - to marry or not to marry, that is the question
Marry a man who has sense. Marry a man who has brains enough to know that paying your bride price is not the same as buying and transferring family property.
Marry a man who is sensible enough to know that marrying you is doing you a disservice.
That's good advice to give to the monster, but I also know that it doesn't affect their decision. Your decision has been made, whether it is correct or not, is not up for debate. There is also no question of whether I am the right one! Am I that?
Above I wrote something about the bride price. Perhaps that is still an obstacle, because I told her right away that I would not pay a bride price. How could I? She has four children! And none of the fathers had paid a bride price! I once said: "I am old and you are no longer young." And that's true too.
The subject of love and marriage is not new, it is as old as humanity. Modern philosophers hold that the relationship of the two sexes to one another, although they may deny it, it is a confirmed truth through the whole history of the human race that it is the natural tendency of women to find their master in their husbands . If we look at any woman who is not dependent on a man, if we look at her blooming face, we are certainly looking at the face of an unhappy woman.
What a woman's patience can endure and what a man's determination can impose ... Wilkie Collins
The desire for a master is the constant, unconscious desire of the woman, for in the possession of a master she finds her complete complement.
"Who can find a virtuous woman? Because her price is far higher than that of rubies." (Prov 31:10) Most of the time, people read Prov 31 as if it were an instruction from God to every woman to obey. It is worth noting that it was written not to a woman, but to a man. A mother wrote to her son about the kind of woman he should be considering. Second, it is a picture painted of a divine woman, not as if it really was a woman who existed in Israel at the time. It paints a beautiful picture of what every man wants as a woman. She is excellent at home and outside the home.
If there is a time when confusion about what an excellent woman is peaked, it is these days of modern women. With the feminist movements as well as the struggle for gender equality, the struggle rises to the top. The world pulls women aside; on the other hand, Prov 31 gives them a standard that seems like a fairy tale these days.
"Her husband's heart certainly trusts her; so he will not lack profit." (Prov 31:11) The world is full of dishonest people. We don't have to cross the oceans to find them. But it's more frustrating when a woman can't be trusted.
So an excellent woman is not trustworthy because she never fails or cannot fail, but because her heart is good and reliable.
The word marriage is Old High German and means something like "Eternity, Law and Law". Doesn't sound particularly romantic. It wasn't originally either. Love and marriage is one of those things. Actually, love and marriage should have something in common - sometimes they have that too - sometimes not.
There are too many ignorant women out there who know nothing about marriage. The sooner they humble themselves to learn and do the right thing, the better it is for their marriages and their homes. Love can be beautiful as long as it lasts. Love is like day, it comes with a beautiful sunrise, it goes with the sunset. Love comes, it stays with us for a while, then it goes slowly, it disappears unnoticed, what remains are similarities, memories, habits. Love is fleeting, in order to be able to enjoy it always - a whole life together - it has to be fought for. “Love is a serious mental illness.” This is what the philosopher Plato meant. I think I mentioned this before, but it is correct and cannot be repeated enough.
These perspectives develop a positive determination of the nature of marriage, make its philosophical justification comprehensible and emphasize the benefit for the common good that lies in the promotion of marriage. This shows that the revisionist definition of marriage lacks a conclusive justification for its model and cannot substantiate its claim to be of lasting benefit to the community. The philosophical reference point for the argument are the demands and inquiries inherent in our common human nature. Against the background of a generally comprehensible human condition, the social practice of conjugal understanding of marriage proves to be sensible and insightful.
Marriage and love have nothing in common; they are as far apart as the poles; are in fact antithetical to each other. If someone is loved and that feeling is mutual, no one needs to marry. One excludes the other. One excludes the other. A love need not be documented in a marriage. Love doesn't need justification. Marriage is a comprehensive (also physical) union of the two spouses.
Marriage is not an arbitrarily formable legal construct and not a contract like any other. Even if that is assumed by many. What is decisive for a definition of marriage is not the specific suitability or feelings of individuals, but the fundamental criteria that are decisive for their coming about.
The Catholic Church describes marriage as follows:
In the sacrament of marriage, two lovers enter into a lifelong covenant by express consensus, the aim of which is mutual support, mutual perfection and the procreation and upbringing of offspring.
Unlike in the Catholic Church, marriage in the Protestant Church does not have a sacramental character. According to the Catholic understanding, marriage is a sacrament, that is, an expression for the love relationship between God and his people, and between Christ and the Church. By saying yes at the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom promise each other love and loyalty - for a lifetime and of their own free will.
The Koran says that women and men should treat one another with respect and support one another. According to the Koran, Muslim men are responsible for the financial support of the family. Women are allowed to work and earn money if they want to.
Mohammed is ascribed the sentence: "Blessed among you is one who is good to his wife." In another statement, on the other hand, divorce is described as permitted, but as a process that God does not like.
This is the basic requirement for people of different sexes to be able and allowed to live together. On the one hand, it has the purpose of providing for offspring, but also of human fulfillment.
As in the churches, marriage itself is understood as a holy covenant.
But what about the interaction and coordination of two people on the physical and physical level? What is so special about coitus, in contrast to any other interaction, whether sexual or non-sexual, such as in sports, that one even speaks of "becoming one flesh" with it?
Articles show how sexually lost and frustrated modern men and women are. Unfortunately, only symptomatic treatments will be offered. No real, radical solutions. And to date, few people have really dared to be open to their problems thanks to social pressures to be "successful" in all matters. Coitus is the only union of two people that is at all possible on the biological-organic level; at the same time it is naturally necessary for the transmission of life - which is its precise determination on the biological-organic level.
When the idea of seventh heaven has perfect sex with a beautiful partner, we dispel it. Heaven cannot be an isolated moment in life; it has to be a complete way of life, otherwise it will be just another sterile myth to vilify and impoverish the moments of our real experience.
A comprehensive and unconditional marriage is also unreserved in terms of time. It is not for nothing that "faithful until death do you part" is spoken of. This enables and stabilizes the marriage itself and at the same time promotes those basic conditions that are most beneficial for children. The inherent focus of marriage on children deepens and expands the reasons the spouses may have anyway for being together and loyal to one another for a lifetime.
Marriage, like everything in this world, is changing. As individuals, we permanently register culturally agreed norms that are effective in our society.
Relationships and marriage are very important in everyone's life. It is something that was even introduced by God himself during creation. Both women and men are there for each other and therefore ask to look for each other. This has always been a culture in all societies where society always sees you as a generation continuity. Because of this, it has been normalized, but there are several challenges.
"Every wise woman builds her house; but the fool tears it down with her hands." This can be easily checked wherever a house has failed, either things are out of the woman's control; that she was fed up with all the drama and gave up, or that she was pushed out. As long as the woman is in control, things will go their way. This is not a problem. The problem arises when your path is an evil and ill-intentioned one. It's bad when she's a manipulator and not a female leader.
Finding the right woman to marry is important. Should the wrong woman be found to marry, she will not guide, she will only plan her ways in order to control. She won't lead life, she will ruin it.
Marriage is first and foremost an economic arrangement, an insurance pact. The married couple enter into an economic pact.
Is Dante's motto about the inferno equally applicable to marriage? : "You, who enter here, leave all hope behind." This marriage is a failure; hardly anyone will deny it.
I'm not going to ask you to do anything, not even to be by my side forever. Because if I have to ask you, I don't want to anymore. "
So these are my thoughts, whether they're right, going in the right direction, I don't know. One thing should be very clear, however, marriage is not easy, it is no picnic. Marriage is a challenge and you have to give something. Give and take, or the good old ping-pong game.
Am i the right one Is it right for me?
Let's leave that. We'll see what else will happen.
Chapter 36
Jua nyuma ya mawingu - The sun behind the clouds
I don't know what, but I have something in my stomach! The planned and upcoming wedding will probably not be.
We ate supper. It was pretty good, but I didn't eat too much. The taste is there, the appetite is gone. Strange. Or not strange either. I am not feeling well, something is wrong.
Oooh baby Anita macho kama Unaniita
Saa Sita Kiuno ka Yondo Sister (aaahaaaa)
Anita macho kama Unaniita
Saa Sita Kiuno ka Yondo Sister
We are lying on the bed. It's rumbling in my stomach. It's getting worse and worse. I feel like I'm on a plane that goes into a hurricane.
"What do you have?" Asks the monster.
"I have a stomachache," I reply.
"Is that so?" She doesn't believe it.
"Leave me alone!" I'm a little used up.
I can't lie still, my stomach problems keep getting worse. I start to breathe deeply, that should help. And it helps. After a few minutes I have to jump up, run to the toilet, reach it just in time. I have to throw up. And not too little! The whole toilet puked up. I have to clean them. Try to clean them with a bucket of water. There is no running water in the house, the water has to be fetched from a well in front of the house. I am weak, my legs give way, I have to lie down, freak out, gather strength.
"That was really tough now!" Says the monster.
I don't answer, I'm just too tired and burned out. I lie on the bed with my eyes closed, still breathing heavily, just hoping it will come to an end.
The boy runs to the well, fetches water, cleans up what I have overlooked. Well done boy!
"Perhaps this world is another planet's hell," wrote Aldous Huxley. That's how I feel. No more and no less.
Pale nnapokuona, Shulalala Shula
Yarabi moyo, Shulalala Shulaa
Eh, Pale nnapo kusikia, Shulala Shula
Shula wangu, Shulalalashula
The wedding is of course not canceled or suspended.
"Do you have the documents you need?" The monster asks me.
"What documents do I need?" I ask.
"I don't know," comes the reply.
"If you don't know how am I supposed to know?"
"I have no idea!"
"That's strange," I reply, "all women who want to get married know this very well."
"I was never married!"
"Not married and four children!"
"This is not a problem."
I think so too. Bringing children into the world is certainly not that difficult, there are more difficult tasks.
I take that as an opportunity and ask why every young woman in Kenya has at least one child. Some of the girls here are still children themselves and have children of their own. I noticed that.
The answer I get is a bit surprising. "Having a child here is like an assurance that you will stay together."
"That's childish! Then why are most of them alone?"
"The fathers are leaving."
I've seen that too. Most young people, young mothers, are alone, abandoned and lead their lives somewhere apart. They have lost their lives, given up, for a man who has only taken advantage of them. That's the reality.
Unizalie ka-cute ka-cute Katifah Dagote
Nikuvalishe na misuit misuit, upendeze tutoke
Tukomeshe wenye chuki mamluki lakusema wakose
Tulisakate uzuki ma uzuki na wavimbe wapasuke
We Hodari mtunza siri zangu hata nikiwa sina
Wanivumilia, na kuamini nitapata
Tafadhali nilindie roho yangu cha kukupa sinaa
Tena nakuapia Haki ya Mungu sitakuacha
In Mozart's opera it says "... How so deceptive are women's hearts,
may they laugh
may you joke.
Often a smile plays on her features
everything is falsehood, everything is a lie ... "
I can only hope that Mozart is not right. For me, for my future. I am not interested in messing everything up.
Hidden somewhere in the background of my consciousness was the seed of my fears, which there, in spite of all my denial, secretly germinated and grew; and I lived through all of a child's doubts and fears. Once the doubts are there, with these come the fears.
So, me, right in the middle, the person who seems to despair of everything, who buys insanity, who goes nuts because of love, work, leisure time, freedom and general constraints. That is exactly what should not happen, I have to put a stop to it. The way back is always open.
We're going into town to go to the building where you have to register for a wedding. With the best will in the world, I can't remember the name of this office building.
We have to look where it was, there it is no more. Strangely enough, she knows that, everything else she doesn't know! Well, we'll see!
It's a small office with two desks in it. We have to wait, couples are advised. I look around. There is a blackboard on the wall displaying all the couples who are going to get married in the next few days.
We are asked to enter the office.
The monster is talking to a gentleman.
"We want to get married and we don't know what documents this white man needs."
The officer apparently doesn't know either. He has to see. He'll find the information soon.
"The groom needs, if that is the case, a divorce decree that he is not married, that nothing stands in the way of a marriage. Then he needs a birth certificate and, not to forget, a return ticket."
"A return ticket? I don't have that!"
Discussion is superfluous, as it is written! End and end!
I can't afford a return ticket, because with the electronic visa application you get 3 months, but that's only an application, you only get the visa when you enter the country and that can only be for one day. Caution is advised.
The monster understands that, the officer remains stubborn. What is written is valid! Pasta!
We are going again. Don't know what to do. There will be a way, but it has to be found first.
Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. (Matthew 24:12)
“Immediately after the distress of those days
“'The sun will be darkened,
and the moon will not give its light;
the stars will fall from the sky,
and the heavenly bodies will be shaken. ' (Matthew 24:29)
What do men think about marriage? For a man, marriage is not absolutely necessary, desirable. It has to do with the feelings. In the "Stern" (a weekly magazine from Germany) there are some statements from men.
"The desperation of my friend to finally step in front of the altar is gigantic. Like a blood-sucking octopus that crushes our relationship."
"That's probably something you just have to do - like showering or paying bills. The only difference is that you have to look happy while doing it, otherwise you get into trouble."
"My girlfriend gave me an ultimatum the day she turned 30. Now I have two months to ask her for marriage. I don't know what I'm going to do - honestly not. I understand that it scares her that I haven't asked her until now and that she doesn't want to waste her "good years" on me if I don't want to commit myself permanently. But I also don't like the idea of going into marriage with my arm upside down. "
"I'm just afraid that I'll get drunk and the question will slip out of my mind so that I will be laid flat. That would be pretty stupid."
"I don't believe in marriage, but I don't believe in being the asshole either. So I'll probably end up in front of the altar."
What should and what can I say about it? Aren't they all right somehow? One loves his girlfriend, feels overwhelmed by her desire to get married. The other has come to terms with it, he doesn't want to get married, but he must. One is afraid to say it out loud. The last one will probably do it, he doesn't want to be the asshole. They all have their concerns. And I can understand everyone!
Am I being pushed too? Nice. Or not? I think so.
Ukitenda mema
Unajitendea mwenyewe
Ukitenda maovu
Unajitendea mwenyewe
When you do good
You do it for yourself
When you do evil
You do it for yourself
Plans are being made that have nothing to do with reality. Dream castles that burst like soap bubbles in the air.
I take the time to think carefully. That’s my approach. The best way to think about it is when I go for a walk or when I lie in bed at night, when it is dark and no noise can be heard, then I have the necessary peace and quiet to think about everything.
I don't need to think much, because it's relatively simple. I am unable to build a house and get married at the same time. I have to shut down one thing. What it will be is immediately clear to me, it can only be the house.
The next morning I explain my decision to the monster.
"I'm not able to do two things at the same time. I can't build a house and get married at the same time. So I've decided to put the house on hold."
The monster thinks about it, finally she asks: "The walls are up, what's missing is the roof. We should have that done."
"That won't work. That's just too much for me. The roof costs 250,000, so I still have to pay for the work, so the roof will come to 300,000. Then, the windows, they cost around 100,000. Flooring and electrical installation I don't know what it will cost yet, I reckon it will cost 500,000. What do I know what else I have forgotten, I would have to ask Fundi now, but it is also not that important, I just give an overview Months, hopefully not much more than 1 million. Now comes the wedding ... "
"We're going to have a small wedding with 5 people."
"Who is that supposed to be attending this wedding?"
I'm very skeptical about this number because I've seen a few weddings on TV and there was nothing below 100 visitors.
"That is a possibility," I have to admit, "but even 5 people don't change the fact that I don't have the money. I have to stop building the house for a month in order to be able to continue working later. The wedding gets me into trouble that is a fact. "
The monster is not happy, she would have liked to have both, but what doesn't work, doesn't work!
With a heavy heart she has to acknowledge it. She makes a face as if she had eaten a lemon. Some fruits are sour, and mine is very sour for them.
Sometimes I sit and look around,
And listen to the daily sound.
But when I check, there's so much lies,
And that's the reason why the children cry.
The phone rings. The monster's phone, not mine. Who is calling me?
"That was the fund," she says, "2000 bricks are missing to finish the building."
I just wonder, did she understand what I told her? There can only be one answer to that. "No way!"
She looks a little confused. I go, take my daily walk. I sit down by the river and look at the water that flows past me. After a few minutes I've had enough, I'll go back.
When I come back there is a big surprise for me. And what a! She is gone! Then after several hours a phone call. "I'm on the construction site, I bought bricks that cost 30,000."
"Where did you get the money from?" I ask, amazed. So far I've always assumed she doesn't have one.
"I said you'd pay later."
I'm mad, not just mad, pissed off. She does what she wants!
"I'm not paying anything! I haven't bought anything, you have to pay for the bricks."
I'll have a beer that will calm you down. I'm short of cash and she's buying bricks! Did she understand anything at all? I cannot assume that.
It's been so long, we need a change,
So the shitstem we got to rearrange.
And if there's obstacles in the road,
We got to throw them overboard.
We're going to the bank. It's a beautiful day, at least in terms of the weather. It will not be beautiful for her, I am convinced of that. The first way leads us to the Standbic Bank. Of course not a success. My bank account is blocked. She makes big eyes. I have to laugh inside. It's like a play. Beauty and the Beast.
"Something is wrong with the bank, let's go to the KCB, let's try it there." She doesn't give up that easily.
"There is no point," I try to explain to her.
She doesn't want to hear!
The next bank, same picture.
"Let's go to Absa Bank," she suggests.
I agree, of course, why not? I'm looking forward to the next astonished face.
If you have no money in your account, you can go where you want, there is no money.
Finally she got it too, no money there! For some it just takes longer. What certainly affects her is the fact that she has a mzungu who is not and never will be rich.
I said I came upon this land,
To guide and teach my fellow man.
But one thing I can't overstand
Is why them don't, love his brother man.
We're going to the construction site. The walls are up, and so are the workers. No more bricks! It happens, as it always has to happen in Kenya, the Fundi says immediately after the greeting that he needs money. I have to laugh at that. Not because he needs money, because I didn't expect anything else.
"For what?" "I ask him." As far as I know, everything is paid for. "
"There's a holiday coming up, people want a present," he tells me.
"I'm not Santa Claus!"
"Little so that people can buy something."
"I don't even have enough money to pay the bricks."
The Fundi opens its eyes.
I say to him: "Finish what is still possible, then go home."
The Fundi opens the eyes even more.
The monster says: "No more money!"
That sat!
"What do I tell my people?"
"What do I know!"
"Just a little thing!"
I check my wallet. I still need money for the return trip, I'll take it, I'll give him the rest. It is not much. I don't have to give it, but I give it.
The Fundi and the monster don't know how all this pisses me off!
The Fundi can't believe it, a Mzungu who has no money! Every white person is rich! It must be! For him the world is collapsing, his worldview is destroyed!
We'll go back with the last of the money.
One night, an evil spirit held me down,
I couldn't make one single sound.
Jah told me, "Son, use the Word",
And now I'm as free as a bird.
Chapter 37
Harusi ni kabla ya joto - The wedding is in preparation
Me, I no get money
Any thing to give you
But the love that you give me
Affect my pain
In the night, in the morning I just wanna be close to you
Hold me tight my baby, take off my pain
The building of the house has been put on hold for the time being. The monster wants to be married first. That's good for me, there are some inconsistencies that I don't understand and that bother me.
What unsettles me is that so many scams have been made and I still don't know whether the monster is involved or not. Actually everything speaks for it, there is hardly any doubt. Right from the start I was cheated on, that is clear to me and that cannot be shaken. The big question is and remains: is the monster there, what does it know and how deeply is it involved in this swamp?
Nobody love you, like I do
Oh yes, I do
If no be you baby tell me who
Oh baby tell who
I never seen myself going for someone in love
Now I see myself dying for someone in love
The Fundi cannot believe that its wonderful time is over. Jigsaw is walking with me. Seldom happens because, I hopefully mentioned it that she's out of blood. Today she is brave, she went to the river. We're on our way home. Fundi's house is somewhere on the path we're going. And really, someone calls us, we turn around and the Fundi comes in. Actually quite atypical for Kenya, because nobody walks here! You have time here, nothing runs away. Once I asked why nobody was walking or going on here? A walk of 1 kilometer is impossible. I was told that the runners are from the Eldoret area. Nobody else is walking here!
He comes to us out of breath. As friendly as we are, we wait for him.
The Fundi welcomes me.
"When do we continue building?" Is his first question.
I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know. As you know, I have run out of money. Everything is gone."
"But why is that? Did you make a mistake?"
"My wife," I call her that, for the sake of simplicity, "she threw my bill with her madness."
The Fundi looks at me in amazement.
"I do not believe that!"
"Why?"
"There must still be something there!"
"There's nothing left. Believe me."
"Let's move on, anything! Doesn't have to be anything big."
I know what he means. All of a sudden he lost his job, now he's in midair. No work no money.
"It's not working!"
"But you're going home, that costs too, so you have to have something."
It's none of his business, but what the heck!
"The money for the ticket is in my bank, I can't use it with the best will in the world. I have to have this money. I don't spend it."
He begs for a while, then gives up.
I can't help him. Now comes the wedding first. Or not, it's not that sure yet. A lot can still happen there.
Jigsaw and I move on.
Jigsaw looks at me, "Who was that? Do you know him?"
"This is the fund that builds our house."
"Is that a goof! Don't you think so?"
And that comes from a 10 year old child!
Anytime I want to see your face
You free my mind mind you no make I stress
You call my Konde boy, yes
You make temperature low low down
You like so fine when you dress
Many people, friends and acquaintances have asked me what I am looking for in Kenya and whether I have found or will find what I am looking for.
I am looking for happiness. This search is not limited to a country, a nation that is global.
Some think I'm a despot, someone who considers women inferior. That's not true. I would like to give an example here of how I feel and what I feel.
My mother always cooked delicious food. But one day she put a burnt cake in front of my father. Not just a little burned, but black as coal. I waited what my father would say. But he just ate the cake and asked me how my day was. Then I heard my mother apologize for his dinner with him. I will never forget his answer.
"Honey, I like your cake."
I later asked him if he was telling the truth. He put his arm around my shoulder and said, "Your mother has had a hard day at work. She was tired."
"The burnt cake didn't hurt, but a sharp word could have hurt you."
We all make mistakes. Instead of focusing on mistakes, we should support those we love. That is the secret of long and happy relationships.
And that's how I feel and think. Perhaps it is wrong, perhaps it is right that what I know is that this thinking is interpreted by some women as a weakness. That annoys me! And I think this monster is a woman of it.
Everything excellent is rare. (Omnia praeclara rara.) Marcus Tullius Cicero
Cicero already knew. In days of greatest happiness, one should especially listen to the advice of friends and give them even more weight than before. These are precisely the times when we have to be careful not to lend our ears to flatterers; if you let them get close to you, then you easily fall victim to them. We consider the praise they give us to be entirely justified, and this self-assessment is the source of innumerable mistakes: man imagines all sorts of things, puffs himself up, but is in the greatest error and thus falls prey to the most shameful ridicule.
Where are the adjectives that describe me, that finally make me unique? Who was, am I, will I? Am I actually the one who can be described by any adjectives? Are deviations still possible? Am I still possible as an individual then?
Let's leave that, it won't lead to anything.
The daughter, the big daughter, not the little one, comes into my room. She is the mother of Skydiver. She always waits until her mother leaves, only then does she come. I cannot say whether this has been agreed or not, but there is a possibility. It's not the first time, she has come several times.
"Can you help me?" She asks me.
As already mentioned, I think that something is wrong here with the right things.
"How can I help you?"
Of course I know what she wants. It's just a rhetorical question. I look at her and I wonder if she has something like morality or pride. Our thinking is just one of the expressions of changing matter. Within this system there is no place for God, nor for the devil, nor for the immortal soul, nor for some norms of laws and morals. So it seems to me. What is the use of going to church, praying, and then forgetting everything? Jesus swing the hammer of righteousness.
"Give me 1000!"
I have already helped her a few times, i.e. given her money without complaining to her mother. I think that what she does or she, mother and daughter do, is not right.
"No I can not!"
She grimaces, looks angry at me.
"You have money in your pocket!"
"This is my last money, I need it to buy food."
"No chance, I can't give you anything and I don't want to give you anything."
She goes again. She is mad at me. The rich mzungu gives her nothing. I do not care. I must not allow people who do so little for me to claim so much from me, my thoughts and my feelings.
I say my heart is no be lie what I feeling is true
Ago love you till you die, I say know one know one like you
Ago take you to Zanzibar you and I, free your mind vacation
Is a shopping to the Dubai just to change your location
The monster calls her friends. No solution in sight. Still, she has a good idea. We're going to another city, we'll ask there. It is also closer to the monster's parents.
We get up at 5 a.m. It's still dark. There is hardly anything to be seen. We make our way through puddles. We reach the highway full of mud. I have to explain something here. In Europe the highway is a motorway, here in Kenya it is a federal highway. Nothing special.
It's still dark. We're on the street, strange as it sounds, but it's true. We are waiting. We see the headlights of the cars coming towards us. There are not many of them, everyone is still asleep.
Finally a matatu is coming. We enter. We're sitting in the back of the Matatu. The journey doesn't take that long, around 2 hours.
It's slowly turning gray in the sky. The sun comes out over the mountains. The day promises to be beautiful.
I keep my promises, I will sing many hymns to Jesus until the end of this world, I keep my promises. Truly, truly, I keep the promises of Jesus, Truly, truly, I keep His promises. Jesus' word will never fail, In the waves of the earth, Because his word is true, I keep my promise.
Nazishikilia ahadi zake,
Mpaka mwisho wake ulimwengu huu,
Nyimbo nyingi nitamwimbia Yesu,
Nazishikilia ahadi.
Kweli, kweli,
Nazishikilia ahadi za Yesu,
Kweli, kweli,
Nashikilia ahadi zake.
Neno lake Yesu halitakwisha,
Katika mawimbi ya duniani,
Kwa sababu Neno lake ni kweli,
Nazishikilia ahadi.
It is slowly getting light. I can look at the area, the fields, the people on the street who have just got up and are going to their fields.
We have arrived. The first way leads us to a hotel. We haven't had breakfast yet. We take a seat in the restaurant. The waiter is coming. We order breakfast. Of course I don't know what to eat, the waiter helps me. I order a Spanish omelette. I don't know what it is, sure about eggs, so it can't be bad.
The Spanish omelette is coming, what a surprise, it's an omelette with tomatoes and onions. Learned something again! From now on this is my favorite breakfast. You never stop learning.
Will you marry me?
Baby I want to know
Will you marry me?
Will you marry me?
Baby I want to know
The monster doesn't know where the building is. I definitely don't know! She asks the waiter. It's not far from the hotel. We go there. We soon found it. Security check, it's a public building.
We find our husband on the first floor.
He is sitting in a small office. The monster explains to him that we want to get married and that I am a foreigner, so we have to ask what documents this mzungu needs in order to get married. The man seems to have more experience with Mzungus than the previous one. He explains to us that this mzungu needs a birth certificate, a marriage certificate and a valid passport with a valid visa.
"And a return ticket?" Asks the monster.
"For what?" Asks the friendly man, "won't he stay there?"
"So he doesn't need a ticket?"
"I don't know for what! I suppose one day he will go home to visit his family."
"That will be done."
So everything is clear. You don't need a return ticket in this city!
Ooh nana, I never seen myself going for someone in love
Now I see myself dying for somebody in love
We say goodbye, go. It was late morning. We feel an appetite. We're going back to the hotel. Have lunch there. I ask about beer, what a shock, there is none, only soft drink or water. With a heavy heart I choose water!
We're going back again. We arrive in the late afternoon. Everything is still there, nothing has burned down, disappeared or gotten away in any other way. The children are waiting for us. You ask the monster how it went. The monster explains to them that it looks good. In the next few days we will go back, this time with the documents, to present them to the authorities. Everyone is happy.
Jigsaw comes to me in the evening. The son and the monster are watching TV. She lies down with me. I take her in my arms. She looks at me, says: "You are old!" The mouth of a child reveals the truth! "Apparently not for mom."
She lays her head on my shoulder. "You are the best dad I've ever had!"
I'll meet you in the city
I'll pick you up at night
I'll drive you through the suburbs
I'll get you there in time
I'll meet you in the city
I'll stay clear of the light
I'll get us through the checkpoints
Yeah, I know we'll be alright
The monster doesn't give up that easily. And me neither.
"Look at your finances. There must be, for sure, a way that you can continue building. I want to get out of here! I want to have my own house. The land is big enough that I can have chickens and cows too. That brings Money and I can give up this job that I'm doing now. "
"Don't expect too much!" I reply, "there are a lot of farmers who have chickens and cows too. They won't let you overtake them so easily."
"There are a number of hotels where I can sell the chickens and take orders."
She dreams, she doesn't know that dreams are foams. You can't convince me. This country is too small for what she plans to do. Chicken farm, yes, that can work, cows not, that is impossible.
I'm bringing the discussion back to the old track.
"Call the Fundi, I want to talk to him."
She does that too.
Fundi, who lives not far away, comes with his motorcycle. It only took a few minutes.
We are sitting in the living room. Of course, the Fundi hopes that the house will continue to be built.
"What do you want to know?" He asks me.
"You know that I don't have any money at the moment. But in order not to make any mistakes in the near future, I would like to know what this house construction will cost me. If I have the costs, I can plan well . "
"That is clear. Let's think about what still needs to be done. The walls are up. Now the roof comes next. Then the windows and doors, the electrical installation, water, borehole, bathroom, the septic tank, the water installation, the water tank, Finally the floor and finally the coloring. Have I forgotten something? "
The Fundi thinks for a moment.
"Yes, I have. The window panes. They also have to go in."
I forgot a lot, I didn't think about it. It's good that the Fundi exists.
"That doesn't sound so good. What will it cost me. Exactly I don't need to know now, at the moment a price is sufficient for me that is pretty close to what it is likely to cost. So I have one Basis with which I can work. "
"From my experience as a Fundi, I would say that the completion of the house will cost around 2.5 million."
I catch my breath!
"So far I've spent 1.5 million. The whole house comes to an estimated 4 million. Then I have to pay taxes, I mustn't forget that."
Everyone looks at me intently. I can read their faces! What is he gonna do now? The rich Mzungu who bought a land, who started building a house. What will he do, what will he say. I don't need to think long, the answer is obvious.
"That's too much for me! That won't work! The house, the wedding ... far too much. One thing has to be put on hold. What is that?"
The monster understood. You make the decision!
"The house!" She clarifies.
"Why?" I ask curiously.
"The house is not running away!"
I understand that. I can run away Better to have the sparrow in hand than the pigeon on the roof.
And maybe we are sinners
But love, it ain't no crime
I'll get you through the checkpoints
I'll drive us through the night
You know I'll keep your secret
I've locked it up inside
As long as we are moving
Yeah, I know it'll be alright
Woke up this mornin ', it feels like every day
I got the blues, babe, not going away
Another bad dream where you were running away
I'm forever haunted by our time
We had a moment, we had a summertime
Asked me to leave with you, but I could never decide
I've been so torn up, I've been so out of it
I'm forever haunted by our time
The house construction is finally put on hold. There is no longer any discussion. That is a good thing.
I'm just curious what the monster is doing to ensure that the wedding still takes place. OK, the good man has declared with documents that I have to bring, nothing stands in the way of a wedding.
Is that good news? I dont know! The doubts are still there, they have not evaporated.
We eat breakfast. It's early in the morning. The children have to go to school. The big son has to put his little sister on the bus so that she gets to school safely.
I drink tea, like every morning, eat my tomatoes, with vinegar and oil. I like that very well.
What I should also mention is that there are hardly any sausages in Kenya. There is only one type of sausage where I shop, and it's not that special.
What I want to tell is a strange incident that happened at breakfast.
The children take a piece of bread, spread it with margarine, then with jam. When you have done that, you take a slice of sausage, put it on the jam, and then add a slice of bread on top. They bite into it with relish.
I am very surprised, have I never seen someone like a jam sandwich with sausage.
"Does it taste good?" I ask. I can't hide the fact that I am amazed.
The boy looks at me and says: "But yes, it's very tasty!"
The tastes are just different! Everyone should eat what they like.
I've been all alone, on my own
Every single night, I pray
When you coming home? Coming home?
'Cause I've been livin' for that day
Life goes on as usual. I don't say anything, I don't do anything, I watch and wait what is to come. Like every day I go for a walk. The sun is burning, the sky is blue, but that is exactly a sign that a violent thunderstorm can occur. We're no longer drinking water, we're waiting for the rain.
In the afternoon the time has come for the rain to come. It's a heavy rain just like we need it to be. First the roof has to be washed clean, only then can we collect the rainwater flowing down.
Jigsaw and I are ready! We have 20 liter canisters next to us. I still have a water bottle in my hand, with this I first catch the rainwater in order to be able to examine whether it is clean. If it withstands the test, we will set up the 20 liter canisters in different places. From time to time we have to change our position, because the rain is sometimes stronger and sometimes weaker. When the canister is full, I carry it into the kitchen. There, on the wall, they are then lined up, like ten canisters. Jigsaw and I are working like crazy! There is a lot to do, all of the canisters are empty.
We are lucky! The rain continues. Sometimes it gets less, then I get scared that the rain is over. Fortunately, this fear is unfounded, it looks more like the rain is taking a little break in order to gain strength and then to be able to start again. One canister after the other is filled with the delicious water. Jigsaw and me, we're happy. We did a good job. We have enough water available for the next few days.
As quickly as the rain comes, the clouds clear away and the sky is blue again. What remains are the puddles and the mud.
I tried another to keep me satisfied
But all your colors are still dancing in my mind
More than just lovers, I.
I'm forever haunted by our time
The monster says nothing, does nothing. A few days go by, I wonder, just wonder if she forgot about the wedding. A man likes to forget something like that, a woman tends not to. I don't have much choice but to wait and see what's going to happen.
The monster is coming. "We now know what is necessary, we should go to the office and have what we have learned confirmed to us."
I agree. We're going to office. Show the documents. The official looks at them, then says: "Looks good. Only the divorce decree is too old, so he has to get a new one. And of course, everything has to be in English."
"Where are we supposed to get this from?" Asks the monster.
"From his homeland."
"How about the ticket?"
"Doesn't he need any."
We thank you and leave.
"What do we do now?" Asks the monster. "Can you get what the authorities ask?"
"It will be best if we drive to the embassy, they might be able to help."
Said and done. The embassy gives me a certificate of marital eligibility. This is in German and needs to be translated. There is only one agency in Nairobi that does certified translations. So let's go there. The good man translates. It is not much, what is to be translated, costs 2000. The stamp is on it, we have everything!
We're going back home.
Because the pessimist is seldom disappointed
I know they'll tap the claret when they catch you
Got a date with death so don't miss your appointment
Now we really have it all!
Days and weeks have passed again. As before, I did nothing. What could I have done too? The whole marriage has been going on for several months now. Essentially, it doesn't bother me, I gain time. I still have to find out a lot, it takes time.
Then, all of a sudden, the monster comes to me. "We'll go to the office tomorrow, show the papers. We'll see what they say about it."
We drive to the office, show the papers.
The officer says: "The papers are in order. You have to go to the office in Nairobi, an interview is necessary."
"How shall we do it?"
"It's best to make an appointment."
I don't understand why I should have an interview! For what? Why? No Answer! It is required! That's the way it is.
We are going again.
The monster says: "Don't get upset, we'll go to the other city, we'll ask about it there, maybe that's not necessary."
We're going to the other city. Go to the office there. The officer says that this interview is necessary, that you have to make an appointment, then you will be invited.
We go back.
And there ain't no patch for this rift that jewels caused
Gangsters sharpening their knives
I know they'll blast him to the everlasting
Those gangsters sharpening their knives
Days pass again before something happens. Finally we drive to the office in Nairobi.
I am not allowed to go in. The monster goes in alone. Talk to the officers. He refuses the certificate of marital status. It is translated by a certified translator, but the accuracy of the translation must be confirmed by an office. The embassy doesn't do that. What now?
The monster calls her mother. She tells her about the difficulties. Mama calms down. She says she knows the bishop personally, she will ask him to take over the wedding, no documents are necessary. It's all right with me as to why, because I assume it will be a fake marriage. This is how it should be and this is how it will be.
I like her simple style, Na macho ka umemeza kungu
And your dimples when you smile, Inama nipachike rungu
Chapter 37
Askofu au mchekeshaji? Hili ni swali hapa -
The bishop or a comedian? That is the question.
The truth in me
I have to desire
To fit in
No plans to walk
With the crowd
I have my own mind
Heart and
soul
I am me
And it
Has taken me years
To realize
How important that is. (RM Drake)
The monster has to go. She overlooked the fact that she also needs a certificate of marital status. She tells me that she will get it in her hometown that is far away so she has to stay overnight.
I stay alone with the children. The day goes like any other day, calmly and without excitement. I enjoy being alone in the room, lying alone on the bed, finally having enough space. I sleep well and peacefully.
The children go to school the next morning. I am alone. I sit on the veranda, the sun is shining, I enjoy the warm rays of the sun. In short, I let my mind wander. A day without thinking about the wedding is good for you.
The monster comes back in the afternoon. Shortly afterwards the children from school.
Of course I am curious what this certificate of marital status looks like. She pulls it out of her pocket. It is a simple piece of paper, handwritten, stamped, essentially illegible. I have to ask what is written here? Not to be expected otherwise, here is that nothing stands in the way of a marriage.
"Who wrote that?" I ask. I've never seen a note like this. Anyone can write such a note!
"The mayor!"
"Aha," I can only say.
It is like it is. The note is there, what can I do? I have to accept that.
Then comes the question of all questions. "When do we go to the office to register our wedding?"
I have my concerns, they are already there and have not evaporated.
"When you want to."
"We still have to meet with my parents. My mother goes to the bishop to plan the wedding. Afterwards we can go and register the wedding."
"Let's do this!"
If I told you my story
You would hear hope, that wouldn't let go
And if I told you my story
You would hear love that never gave up
It's not that easy in Kenya, even if some might believe it.
We're back at the hotel. It's just after 9 a.m. We have breakfast. People already know us, we are no longer strangers. The monster demands to speak to the manager. She asks him if it would be possible to have a wedding here. Of course it's possible. He shows us the hall. Not particularly big, but perfectly fine for a small wedding. Cheap too. We have to pay a deposit. Then the wedding cake, which is also possible, a deposit again. Finally we're done. Papa and Mama are coming. We sit at the table and talk. Papa and Mama are hungry, they haven't eaten breakfast yet.
After breakfast they get up, so mom and the monster.
"We're going to the bishop now!"
You go. I stay alone with papa. We have a long wait ahead of us, we don't know that yet, but I can feel it in my bones. The longer the two women are gone, the more my concerns become! I just wonder what's going on here? What is being played here? Something is steaming up there! Only what?
I ask Dad: "Are they staying away for a long time?"
Dad explains to me, "The bishop lives outside the city. It takes time."
They'll come back in the afternoon.
The monster says: "We were with the bishop, we talked to him. Everything has been agreed, he and a pastor will support us with the registration for the wedding."
"It took you so long to do that?"
"There is something else."
"What's this?"
Now it's getting interesting!
"The wedding ... The bishop will do it, he needs support and he gets it from a pastor."
"Does he need someone to hold hands?"
"That is not all!"
"Is there anything else?"
"The bishop and the pastor still need support from 13 believers. They have to be transported here by bus. We have already agreed the price, we need 2 buses, one costs 3,000. That is a good price!"
I can't hold back In German I shout, loud and clear: "I suspected that something was going on!"
The papa looks at me frightened. Mama opens her eyes. I have to take a deep breath. The ground moves under my feet.
"I repeat, a bishop, a pastor and 13 believers who have to support each other! Is that true? And the 13 believers come from far away! There are none here?"
"What do you have?" The monster asks me, "this is completely normal here. They are believers from the same church!"
"I understand!"
In 1478 the Catholic rulers Ferdinand and Isabella set up a special tribunal to prosecute all crimes against religion. That happened after the Arabs had been defeated, when it was a matter of preserving the laboriously established unity of the empire through the unity of faith. “One flock, one shepherd, one faith, one king, one sword.” Have I now fallen victim to the Inquisition? What's all this about? A simple wedding that turns into a state affair, especially of two completely insignificant people! The Inquisition was very wealthy. Acquisitions were seldom made. The total number of those burned or severely punished by the Inquisition in Spain from its inception to the coronation of Carlos IV. The Inquisition used its authority to satisfy its lust for power, Arrogance and lust for the flesh. It seems like that here too! The monster and her parents want to play, the monster wants to show her power over me, greed has risen in her head. She is proud to show me here, with her parents, as a willing and defenseless individual! I got it!
And now I don't care at all!
And if I told you my story
You would hear life, but it wasn't mine
If I should speak, then let it be of the grace
That is greater than all my sin
It is now completely clear to me that I am only being taken advantage of. But it's not all over yet. There still has to be something, something coming that I didn't expect.
"The bishop doesn't have time to support us today. Maybe next week. I'll call him."
To be honest, I don't care.
"What we still have to do is a letter to the bishop."
"Aha!"
"Write a letter!"
And she pulls a piece of paper out of her pocket, then a ballpoint pen, holds it in front of my nose.
"Write!" She says and she begins to dictate.
"Ref.: To the Bishop who will officiate the wedding cermony
I, Karl Glanz, and the parents of Jaqueline Ogutu sat down and we came to an agreement of making our relationship official, due to the law of Kenya.
We sat down with parent and agreed of the token appreciation.
We hopefully plan that the ceremony take place at October 10, 2020.
Signature "
The father of the Monster and I signed.
Now it is finished. We eat. I am upset, trying not to show it.
"The bishop told us that the hotel is a very good place to hold the wedding. There will be around 30 guests. We need a bouquet of flowers and music. After the ceremony we will dance!"
After dinner, well, the monster and I go out. In the front yard of the hotel the monster takes me aside and whispers to me: "You have nothing for my parents?"
"I'm amazed:" What should I have? "
She looks at me with loving eyes: "Money!"
"For what?"
"The token! Forget!"
"I don't understand. But anyway, how much? I have very little money. 1000?"
"Too little. Give 10000!"
I give the money. It is put in an envelope, which she gives her father, who is sitting with his wife in the voyer of the hotel and waiting. He feels the envelope to see whether it is thick enough and is apparently satisfied.
We say goodbye, we're going back.
I'm slowly regaining my composure. Time heals all wounds. And that's how my charming streak comes to the fore. They were both evil, witch-like, and the question was which of the two witches was the more dangerous, the mother or the daughter, or was it the father, the devil.
People took care, always on top, never looking at anyone else, or even showing consideration, they took what they wanted, then as now. There can be no talk of guilt and atonement, only the victims feel guilt, atonement is felt by the relatives of the dead and murdered. So we live on today, looking happily and happily into the future. All around us there is chaos.
The 13 believers do not go out of my mind. I still wonder what this 13 believer want at the wedding. I was invited to her brother's wedding, there was only one pastor, but he said goodbye after the wedding and left, quietly and quietly. At my wedding, a pastor and 13 believers have to be present who have to support each other, I just ask myself: with what? The bishop's wife must also be invited! It shouldn't be missing. The pastor is not married, so lucky! I have to laugh on the bus. The monster asks me, "Why are you laughing?"
"I'm laughing at this wedding! It's just ridiculous! 13 Believers and no faith! What are they doing, are they so old that they have to support each other? Or do they make a trellis when we come into the hall, they call out." Hallelujah! "
She doesn't really get the joke, it's not a good joke either. I've made better ones. What should it?
I have no shortcomings when Jesus, He won't try me when I enter, He was tempted to overcome me, Everywhere with Jesus I am the winner.
Sina upungufu awapo Yesu,
Hatajaribuni niingiapo,
Alijaribiwa anishindie,
Popote na Yesu mimi mshindaji.
Days go by, unused. Apparently the bishop has no time. I don't know him, don't know how old he is or what ailments he has. I have to trust the monster and also her mother. It's only good that I know the hotel is fine according to the bishop. He knows, I was told.
"Tomorrow we're going to the authorities to register the wedding," the monster tells me.
Again at 6 o'clock in the morning we stand on the side of the road, waiting for the bus. He comes shortly after 6 a.m., we have reserved seats. As I said, we are VIPs. We are back in town at around 9 a.m. Breakfast in the hotel, afterwards we go to the office.
The bishop and the pastor are already waiting. They're not old, they're both pretty much the same age, around 40 years old.
After a greeting and a little small talk, we go into the office. The friendly gentleman already knows us, only he doesn't know the two gentlemen. Should be like that.
"We now have all the documents together, now we want to register the wedding," the monster explains to him.
"Let me see the documents! *
The monster gives him the documents. He flips through it, then says: "Very good. Everything is there. What you have to do now is register for the interview."
It is the first time that the friendly gentleman speaks of an interview.
The monster is shaken! The bishop and the pastor stand in the room as if they had been lost. Only the monster protests. I am sitting in an armchair, a little away from the action, and have a good overview. I look at the two men, wondering if they ever registered a wedding. They should help if there are problems, they should intervene with their knowledge and possibilities, with the power of the church, of faith, and support, but they stand there, stunned, looking at the Gentlemen's Circle of Friends.
The monster tries pretty much everything, but is of no use. What must be must be!
I also say: "We have to cancel the wedding, it won't work that way!"
The monster looks at me, startled.
I explain to all those present: "Time is running out! We don't know exactly when this interview will take place. My visa is expiring, there is no possibility of an extension, I've already exhausted everything."
The pastor says: "He's right, that's too short. Postpone the wedding until later, it won't run away."
We are going again. Nothing was achieved. The whole journey, all the day lost.
We stop in front of the building. The monster still has to consult with the two gentlemen. It doesn't take long and everything is clear.
"Let's go eat!" Suggests the monster.
"Where do we want to go?" Asks the bishop.
"To the hotel where we want to hold the wedding."
"Where is that?"
"It's just around the corner, not far at all!"
"I don't know the hotel and I don't know this is a hotel."
And then all the alarm bells are ringing in my head! The bishop doesn't know the hotel? He should have recommended it as a good place for the wedding? And now he doesn't even know that the hotel is just around the corner? I just wonder, say nothing, as always. Wouldn't be necessary either, an excuse would be found quickly. We'll show you the way. It is only a few steps and we are seated at a table.
Of when justice was served, and where mercy wins!
Of the kindness of Jesus, that draws me in
Oh to tell you my story, is to tell of Him
There is no real conversation. Nobody really knows what to say, maybe what to say. Only now do the two gentlemen introduce themselves. The pastor sits on my right, the bishop across from me, the monster on the left. We want to keep monsters even though we now know their name. The pastor doesn't talk much, the bishop doesn't have a break for that. He talks a lot, says little. Actually nothing! He plays with numbers. For example he says: "Today is the 5th day of the month and we're in September, that's the 9th month of the year. So 5 times 9 is 45. Does the number tell you what?" He asks the monster, doesn't it me.
"45 ... yes, that's the final number of my phone number!" The monster is happy.
I listen to this for a while. It's getting on my nerves, this unnecessary talk by the bishop.
"The bishop is playing with you, nothing else!"
The bishop laughs. Fortunately, the food comes pretty quickly. Now a prayer is said by the monster, whatever she says, I don't understand, she speaks in Swahili. Everyone is deep in prayer. The holy glow is over our heads, maybe HE is also looking down on us. We don't know and we will never know.
I make my own thoughts as I eat. Recently some voices have begun to rise, especially among learned philosophers who believe they have rediscovered nature and who loudly proclaim that man is nothing but an animal and is only truly happy if he gives in to his animal instincts which, as modern scholars solemnly assure us, are in truth highly moral impulses. Let us now take a closer look at animal nature and its instincts. The natural instincts of an animal are murder, the urge to destroy, cruelty, unrestrained instinctual life, even the annihilation of one's own kind. The qualities that humans seek to acquire in a civilized society - not instincts - are respect for life, creativity, religiosity , Morality and consideration for others. These are the properties of which the proponents of instinct theory want us to believe that they are not only unnatural, but, because they are, also restrict and pervert the animal that lives on its instincts. And I'm sitting here with people like that, in the hotel where the wedding is supposed to take place, which it certainly won't! I realized that the whole thing is one farce, nothing more. This is just shitty! What's left is what about the land, the house? And I'm sitting here with people like that, in the hotel where the wedding is supposed to take place, which it certainly won't! I realized that the whole thing is one farce, nothing more. This is just shitty! What's left is what about the land, the house? And I'm sitting here with people like that, in the hotel where the wedding is supposed to take place, which it certainly won't! I realized that the whole thing is one farce, nothing more. This is just shitty! What's left is what about the land, the house?
What will happen to it? Where did I fall in? Was it a trap set for me, and if so, by whom?
Of when justice was served, and where mercy wins!
Of the kindness of Jesus, that draws me in
Oh to tell you my story, is to tell of Him
"Honey, we'll be there soon!" The monster still believes in it. And me? As I heard the healing voice from the beloved monster, I feel a new faith being born in me. Their proximity seems to put everything in a different light, and I begin to wonder whether fate is not knocking on my door now. Fate is good! I'm fucked! Fate is not kind to me! Not uncommon in Kenya!
When we get home we are welcomed coolly. What happened? The monster's children are evil. They scold their mother. Nobody tells me what kind of complaints the children have. Finally I ask. The answer is that the kids think we got married without taking them to the wedding. We can dispel these thoughts.
Neno lake Yesu halitakwisha, Katika mawimbi ya duniani, Kwa sababu Neno lake ni kweli, Nazishikilia ahadi.
Jesus' word will never fail, In the waves of the earth, Because his word is true, I keep my promise.
What still needs to be done before I leave is to register at the registry office. It has to be done because nobody knows how long it will take before an appointment is made. If things go quickly, which nobody expects, then, the friendly man at the office said, he will call and arrange another appointment.
So we're going to a Cyber Coffee. We need to scan all the documents, download them, resize them, then upload them. We need help and we get it from an employee or maybe it was the owner of this cyber café. It takes a long time.
The bishop appears out of nowhere. He gives advice on what to scan and how. He stays for a while, then he says goodbye.
We have to fill out a large questionnaire. Our names, addresses, ... and a lot more. Parents name, birthday, nationality, ... I also have to apply for a permit because I am a foreigner.
Then we come to the desired marriage. So a civil marriage or a church marriage? Of course that Monster dreams of a church marriage, a white one, the bride in white, the groom in black. Can be! Who knows? And there it is written, when should the wedding take place. The monster inserts the date. The next question is the registration in the church. And here it goes no further. We do not have!
"Didn't the bishop give you any?"
"No, and you know that!"
"Why should I know? I hardly talk to him much. You talk to him."
"What do we do now?"
"Well, one thing is strange. There is a bishop, this bishop comes to the office to help us, but doesn't know that we need a registration from the church."
The monster looks angry at me.
I can't hide my emotions.
"Well, we have a bishop who is not a bishop, it can be assumed that the pastor is not a pastor. Slowly but surely, I'm wondering if Jackie is really Jackie!"
She is very angry and insecure. She tries to call the bishop. The doorbell rings at the other end, but nobody answers. To be honest, I didn't expect it to be otherwise. She may also have called herself. Everything is possible.
In their predicament, only one thing remains. It has to be a civil wedding, there is no other way!
The data and documents are loaded and transmitted. For now we're done.
This is my story, this is my song
Praising my savior, all the day long
This is my story, this is my song
Praising my savior, all the day long
Of course, a white wedding needs the right outfit. There is a mall not far from the Cyber Café and there is a shop there. I'll keep it short, there isn't really much to talk about.
After a long search, the monster will find it. The white wedding dress must be tried on. She puts it on behind a curtain. It suits her! Sits how appropriate! She looks like an angel!
Enlarges their stimulus through
Flattery,
Call them an angel, however black they may be.
The man who has a tongue is not a man
If he can't win a wife with her.
(Nobles of Verona)
Chapter 38
Bwawa la kuogelea - Swimming pool
For the grace that is greater, than all my sin
Of when justice was served, and when mercy wins!
A hotel has opened, one with a swimming pool. I am glad about that, now I have a possibility to enjoy my time pleasantly. The swimming pool is not very big, for me it is just a bigger bathtub! I have to take what I get and there is no other swimming pool in the vicinity.
We go there. The monster is curious.
"Can you swim?," she asks me.
"Of course!"
"I don't!"
"Why?"
"Where I come from, there is no water, no lake, and no sea."
It's clear to me that if you've never seen the sea, you can't swim. Soon I find out that few people can swim. Most people in the pool try desperately, I might as well throw a rock in the water and say he can swim.
I swim! It is pleasant. I can't swim much, the pool is too small for that, but it's enough for a little cool down and relaxation.
We sit under an umbrella after my swim, we drink a beer.
The monster wonders. "You really can swim!"
"Told you!"
"Can you teach me?"
"Of course I can!"
I know that the children like to be in the water too, so I suggest that on Sunday, in the morning, we all go swimming together.
The monster is delighted.
At home, she tells the kids. I lie by the bed, unwinding. Excited, Skydiver comes to me, looks at me with wide eyes.
"Can I come too?" she asks me anxiously. I might say no.
"Of course you can come! I'm looking forward to it!"
Her eyes sparkle, her face brightens, what more can I ask for, a happy child, is the most beautiful thing in this shitty world! Beaming, she runs into the living room. I hear her announce the good news. It's not long before Jigsaw comes up to me.
"Is it true that Skydiver is coming?"
"It's true." I assure her.
"That's good! There we all go together!"
"I hope so!"
Jigsaw runs out beaming, too. Everything is told to Mom, or Grandma, as the case may be.
What else is nice is that this hotel has quite a pleasant bar. Also nice.
The club isn't the best place to find a lover
So the bar is where I go
Me and my friends at the table doing shots
Drinking fast and then we talk slow
And you come over and start up a conversation with just me
And trust me I'll give it a chance now
Take my hand, stop, put Van the Man on the jukebox
And then we start to dance, and now I'm singing like
You wouldn't believe it but the monster wants to go in the water too! She has seen the children playing in the children's pool. Now she wants to try the water too. She is ashamed! So we have to find a day when there are no guests. This is done quite quickly. Monday morning there is no one at the pool. So we go there.
No one there6, only a lifeguard is there. The monster changes her clothes. When it becomes visible again, I have to avoid laughing. I have to explain that now. She has a black blouse, black leggings on, dressed like that she gets into the water. And that's not easy either. Carefully, she dips a toe into the water. I look at this, wonder about this procedure. Nobody needs to be so afraid!
"The water doesn't bite!," I tell her.
"I've never been in the water before!"
"It's not deep, goes up to your hips!"
"I'm still scared!"
I go to her, offer her my hand.
"Take my hand, don't be afraid, I'll hold you."
Trembling, she slowly gets into the water.
"You look like a grandmother, you don't have to be that scared. I'm there and the lifeguard is there too. So, no danger!"
Of course, the clothes she has on, they don't make it any easier, getting wet is hard.
"You should put on a bikini!," I mean.
"No way!"
"Why?"
"It's against God! God doesn't want that!"
If God doesn't want it, I'm powerless. I let it be. What else am I supposed to do?
After all, she is in the water. The lifeguard gives her swimming lessons, I'm not allowed to do that, she has no faith!
After half an hour in the water, it's all over. She takes off her wet clothes, sits down with me under the parasol.
"How did you like it?", I ask.
"It's quite nice!"
At least something!
I lived inside the hidden bay and time used to pass so slow
I raised dragons by my side, but I had to let them go
I feel like we're running wild and we gotta let it grow
And these days you're by my side, but I had to let you know
Chapter 39
Interlude Kidogo - A little interlude
I can be happy again! Not just me, everyone is happy! It jams again! I'm in the middle of it! What a feeling, what a joy, what a happiness! You have to have one thing, luck! And today I'm lucky! The traffic jam isn't too big yet, but hope dies last, it will get bigger!
The windows of the vehicles are opened, there is no risk of fresh, aromatic air being inhaled. Everyone draws full enjoyment, the exhaust of the engines through the nose. The eyes change color, from white to red. What a lovely smell! Everyone looks happy, finally, after a long time back in a traffic jam! The sun shines, burns down, makes no impression on people, windows are usually closed, but if there is a traffic jam, they are opened. This good air must not be missed. The vehicles are so close that you can exchange phone numbers. You shake hands, shout something to each other, others whisper something to each other. The traffic jam must be exploited. The passengers get off, it is market day, to the right and left of the street are the market stalls, they go shopping when they are finished,
After half an hour of standing, it goes on. Half a meter is gained again, which also means that other neighbors are there. We can chat again! New neighbors, new luck!
Girl, you know I want your love
Your love was handmade for somebody like me
Come on now, follow my lead
I may be crazy, don't mind me
Say, boy, let's not talk too much
We're on our way back to the house. Charles called and he has a good idea. He has no electricity and neither do I. Have one of us start the electricity. Our houses are next to each other, we are neighbors. The idea seems pretty good to me. I, as a foreigner, without a PIN, cannot initiate electricity! Charles will fill out the form, apply for the connection, then we'll try to get the power to my house too. It is certainly possible. We still have to talk about the costs.
Everyone is there, including Patrick, of course, he's the only one who has nothing to do with the country or the house. Charles is there, his brother Samuel, then Charles' wife. They are already waiting for us.
Charles, Patrick without whom nothing works, nothing works, and I am doing another inspection, looking at the possibility of how we can solve this problem of straw. The question arises as to where we connect the electricity, i.e. to which house we make the connection.
"Both houses are pretty much on the same level as the electricity pylons," I realize after the inspection. "The only difference is that my house is a free area, there are no trees. The path is clear for the power line."
They all look the way.
Charles says: "That's right, but the distance is longer."
"That's right, only then we have to cut trees, then the way to your house would be free."
One more time is discussed how we can best do it.
I come up with an idea that no one has yet come up with. "What if Kenyan Power doesn't do it? I mean, there are two houses and only one power point. The danger is there, isn't it?"
"Yes, there is a risk," says Patrick, "maybe it would be good to ask Kenyan Power. We don't know what this project will cost either."
We all agree. It is really better to consult a Kenyan Power professional.
Patrick says: "I know someone there who is not from Kenyan Power, but works closely with you. Should I call him?"
Patrick asks me that. The others look at me intently.
"Yes, call! Maybe he has time."
Five minutes later he comes on a motorcycle. It's a huge man, about two meters tall and maybe 100 kilograms.
The foreman, as he imagined, was told what it was all about. He looks around, points to the open area, says: "It would be best to connect the electricity here, where there are no trees."
That was to be expected.
Then I ask: "What will it cost?"
An important question.
The foreman weighs his head. Once again he goes through the project in his mind.
"If we make the junction from this power pole ... then we need ..."
He counts, points in the direction with his hand.
"Then we need 1 ... 2 ... 3 electricity branches!"
I followed him with my eyes. Three electricity masts seem plausible to me.
"Good," I say, "and what does it cost?"
He doesn't have to think long.
"A power pole costs 75,000," he replies.
I'm out of breath.
"That's damn expensive!" I press out between my teeth.
"That's the price."
"I don't want to buy Kenyan Power, I just want a simple power connection."
The good foreman looks down at me from above.
"That is the easiest way."
"What remains to be clarified is whether Kenyan Power will allow two houses to share an electricity connection?"
"This is not a problem!"
Now the monster gets involved.
"Would you like to do that?" She asks me.
"That is already very expensive! I am just thinking whether it is not better to buy a solar system. There are no power cuts, as we are used to from Kenyan Power."
Everyone is a little confused. The monster looks around and asks the foreman: "Is there no other option?"
The foreman replies: "There are! If we move away from this power pole, we only need one pole. The problem with that is that we have to cross foreign territory. It's not easy, we have to ask for a permit."
We're looking at that closely. It would be possible! Do we get the permit too?
I ask about it.
"Do people have a power connection?" Asks the monster.
"I don't think so," replies Patrick. If anyone knows, it is him.
"Then let's do it like this!" Says the monster, "if we are allowed to walk across this farmer's land, he can also get an electricity connection!"
"Good suggestion!" I say.
"I ask him!" Exclaims Patrick.
There is no one home. We have to postpone the decision.
Grab on my waist and put that body on me
Come on now, follow my lead
Come, come on now, follow my lead
I think about it on the way back. The foreman initially meant 3 electricity pylons, the whole project would be calculated at 225,000 and whether that's all is written in the stars. Kenyan Power has experienced some power outages. On average once a week. This can be an hour, but it can also be a day or several.
"I have concerns!" I explain to the monster. "A 75,000 power pole, that's a lot. And then, how is that supposed to work, a connection for two houses? That has to be carefully considered!"
"It's easy," the monster explains to me, "the power line goes from our house to Charles' house."
"I don't know! I'll find out what a solar system costs. It's easier and there won't be any discrepancies."
"What disagreements?"
"Who pays what!"
"We'll share this!"
"Of course, but how?"
"Let's say the power connection costs all together 100,000. Charles is going to pay 50,000?"
She looks at me in amazement. I notice it.
"And that's exactly where the problems start. Charles will argue that from my house to his house, the distance is only a few meters. There is no power pole in between. Why, will he say, should I pay half of a power pole? And." the next problem is the power consumption! "
The monster tries to refute my argument. I listen to her, but my concerns remain.
I'm in love with the shape of you
We push and pull like a magnet do
Although my heart is falling too
I'm in love with your body
I do my research. A solar system costs as much as the 3 electricity pylons. The advantage is that I am independent of Kenyan Power, do not have to worry about power outages and the food in the refrigerator is not spoiled. And above all, I don't need to pay for electricity! There are quite a few advantages.
I'm in love with your body
Oh-I-oh-I-oh-I-oh-I
I'm in love with your body
Every day discovering something brand new
I'm in love with the shape of you
It has been a few days since we started discussing power supply. It takes too long for the monster. She comes to me.
"When do you make your decision?"
"I still have to calculate, get offers. I'll do it slowly, but with deliberation."
"What else do you need?"
"Someone to make it cheaper!"
"I have someone there!"
"Well, take care of it!"
One week in we let the story begin
We're going out on our first date
We are on the way to Kenyan Power. We get into the matatu. An old man, who is also trying to get in, holds me back. I show him with my hand that he can get in, I can wait. But, he doesn't even want to get in, he holds out his hand. "Give me money!"
Older gentleman is good, the good man is probably younger than me! I don't give him anything!
The journey doesn't take long, we'll soon be in town, go to Kenyan Power. The monster stops in front of the building.
"It's better not to come with me. If they see you, the price will go up!"
I think that's strange because the Kenyan Power employee couldn't really put anything in his pocket. I stay outside, wait. I already know the result.
She comes back after half an hour.
I ask, "How did it go?"
"It's true, the power pole costs 75,000!"
"Ok," I say, "then no electricity!"
The monster protests, but it's no use, I stick with it.
"We need electricity!"
"That's right, but not at this price! I'll buy a solar system that is better."
The monster doesn't like to hear that. I just wonder why
Come on now, follow my lead
I may be crazy, don't mind me
Say, boy, let's not talk too much
We're going to the hotel. It's warm, the sun is shining and it's a good day to take a dip. We walk side by side on the highway. We're talking. I'm looking forward to a bath and a cold beer, the monster is only looking forward to a bath. Maybe she's looking forward to the swimming instructor. Everything is ok, nothing has to be.
A man comes towards us. A younger man, he could be my son.
The monster calls out: "It touched me!"
I look after the man, he goes on quickly. I look at the monster, she is beaming. Now she looks like a young girl, not a mother with four children.
And last night you were in my room
And now my bedsheets smell like you
Every day discovering something brand new
A few days later. I'm in town, the monster is at a meeting. I have time. I'm sitting in a bar, having a beer, waiting for the monster. I get bored, I pay and leave. I walk around the block, look at the shops. I see an electrical installation business there. Curious about who I am, I would like to ask what this good man would ask if he were to do the installation in my house. I have no plan with me, explain to him how big the house is. We talk around like that, I explain to him that I don't ask for an exact price, for that I would need a blueprint that I only want the price approximately. He does the math, I look around. A certificate from Kenyan Power hangs on the wall. I ask him: "Do you work with Kenyan Power?"
"I take orders from them."
"That's good! I have a question right away."
"What is it about?"
"I have to have a power connection made, this requires a power pole. How much does a power pole cost?"
"It costs 17,000."
"I'm sure I misheard! 75,000? Or?"
"No, sir, 17,000!"
To be very sure, I spell. "One, seven and then three zeros?"
"Exactly!"
"How does someone get 75,000?"
"Somebody wanted to put her on the back!"
I agree.
I'm in love with your body
Oh-I-oh-I-oh-I-oh-I
I'm in love with your body
Oh-I-oh-I-oh-I-oh-I
Chapter 40
Kuzungumza 'kuhusu wewe na mimi, yeah na michezo watu kucheza - Talkin' 'bout you and me, yeah and the games people play
And that is really the question! What the games people play?
Oh the games people play now every night and every day now
Never meaning what they say, yeah never saying what they mean
First you whine away your hours, in your concrete towers
Soon you'll be covered up with flowers in the back of a black limousine
Let me tell you the last chapter.
There's something going on in the Monster Family, I'm not sure what. Something has gotten into trouble. As always, of course I am not told anything. I suspect it at first, but soon I will be certain! It's not too difficult to find out. People make phone calls, search the Internet and look up Facebook. I can overhear a phone call. It's about a loan. The good man on the other end demands 20 percent interest a month! Then skin couture is searched on the internet. A lot will be found and will certainly also be discussed. The whole thing happened before my eyes.
That's not the only thing. The monster has made itself beautiful. Dressed up properly. She looks like a young thing, at least 20 years younger. She has a new hairstyle, make-up, new dress. Of course I notice!
"On Thursday, so tomorrow I have a meeting in town. I'm supposed to give a lecture in another city, it will take two days."
I take it the way I'm told, I don't know any better!
Thursday morning. Actually, she should go to the office. The lecture is waiting! Noticeable! I don't say anything, just know that the dog is buried there. If I say something now, then she will change her tactics and then again I don't know enough to be able to make my decision. She is not going away. Is a little nervous. She stays until the afternoon. Suddenly she gets up, she goes.
"The office called, they want to speak to me!"
I have nothing else to do but wait. I'm just curious when she'll be back.
She's gone five hours.
"It took a long time!" I realize.
"There were a lot of problems. You know I should have given a lecture today ..., I didn't go. Now I have to go there tomorrow morning!"
Next day. At 8 o'clock she leaves.
"I'll call you when I get there!" She says in parting.
The city where she supposedly goes is 2 hours away. The problem I have is that a volunteer is sent to a distant city to give a lecture. The first problem that goes through my head is: why a volunteer? She is not employed! She will be contacted when something needs to be done. The second problem is, don't the people in this town have their own people who can do it? The third problem is she didn't drive on Thursday and the boss didn't fire her? Lots of questions and no answers.
You and me are thrifty, so go all you can eat
Fill up your bag and I fill up a plate
We talk for hours and hours about the sweet and the sour
And how your family is doing okay
Leave and get in a taxi, then kiss in the back seat
Tell the driver make the radio play, and I'm singing like
I have time now. She's gone and I know she won't come back until Saturday, maybe Sunday. Since I have only guesswork and no evidence, what can I do? I contact my secret service. I ask him if he knows anything. He doesn't know anything, but will inquire. It doesn't take long before I get a message. My feeling is right, something is going on. What exactly is not yet known, but it will soon be found out. That calms me. I now know that I am not wrong in my guesses.
Burning hot desert sand, far, so far, the homeland ...
I feel the same way. The ground burns under my feet. I need some distance, I'm going to the hotel. Not for a swim this time, I sit down in the bar, now it's the right time to have a cold beer. And it didn't stay with one of them, that didn't even occur to me ...
Then in the evening I left. James Bond, the son of the monster, cooked. We sat together and had supper. Then the children watched television, I withdrew.
The phone rings. It's the monster.
"I arrived safely. Now I'm in the hotel."
Angry as I am, I say: "Tomorrow, when you go home, watch the matatus, I'll be in one of them, I'll go back."
"Don't do any nonsense, I'll come as soon as I can."
I listen carefully. A man whispers to her.
"Tell him you love him!"
She says it too. "I love you from the earth to the moon and back!"
I hang up, lie back, close my eyes.
When it is time to go to sleep, Jigsaw comes to me.
"Take me to bed!"
Your mom never did that. Of course I know what she's thinking and have to hold back a grin. Jigsaw lies down in her bed.
"Cover me up!"
I cover her up.
"Are you well covered? Are you warm enough?"
"Yes, I am warm!"
I want to go, she won't let me.
"Wait a moment!"
I stop at the door. I'm waiting. After a while, I'll be released.
"Thanks, you can go now. Turn off the light!"
Your last order will be carried out by me.
I also lie down.
Girl, you know I want your love
Your love was handmade for somebody like me
In the morning. We have breakfast, the children have to leave, the school is waiting. I am left alone. I slept well, but the anger is eating me up. First I go for a walk. Not to the river as usual, I walk along the street, there is also the river. I stand on the bridge and look at the rushing water. Somehow that calms me down. It's pleasant, nobody speaks to me, nobody says hello, and I don't need to do anything.
Like a river, like a river
Shut your mouth and run me like a river
How do you fall in love?
Harder than a bullet could hit you
How do we fall apart?
Faster than a hairpin trigger
On the way home, the street leads past the hotel, I go inside. It is high time to have a cold beer. If it doesn't help, it may help you think.
I pull out my smartphone, there is WiFi here and download a few songs. A young man comes to me, wants to talk to me, I'm chasing him away.
"Leave me alone, can't you see that I have something to do!" I want everyone to be let in.
It doesn’t stop at a beer, we need a few more!
Don't you say, don't you say it
Don't say, don't you say it
One breath, it'll just break it
So shut your mouth and run me like a river
It is noon, I watch the Baxenden. The waitress comes, wondering.
"You won't go swimming today?"
"No, too many people in the water."
It's also true, strangely enough, there are a lot of people around and in the pool these days and that's exactly what I don't like. The beer is good for me, I can feel it.
People walking up to you, singing glory Hallelujah
Then thy try to sock it to you, oh in the name of the Lord
I leave the hotel in the early afternoon. I don't feel hungry. The question torments me what kind of stories she will tell me. Is she back at all? Time is too short! She won't be back until late afternoon, if she comes back at all. Maybe she'll send me away too, that can't touch me! A few days ago, something happened to her, something embarrassing that shouldn't have happened to her.
"You, with your little money ..."
I remember that now. Embarrassing vaux pass. What should it happen, has happened.
Tales of an endless heart
Cursed is the fool who's willing
Can't change the way we are
One kiss away from killing
My secret service sends me a message. It is short. "It's true, something is going on. She's having a meeting with another man. Be careful! Danger!"
I'm going home slowly. Home is good, is it still my home? The question arises! I, for my part, have finished with it.
My phone is ringing. Not many call me. So it has to be something important. A friend is on the line.
"I have to tell you something!" Begins the friend.
"What is there?"
"I have to warn you. Something is going on and you should know what."
"What's going on?"
"The monster is in Nairobi, there she had a rendezvous with an old but rich man."
"I thought so. She was dressed up like a Christmas tree. What annoys me is that she treats me like an idiot."
My friend is laughing.
"I'm glad you already noticed. What you don't know yet is that they want to throw you out of your country. They planned it that way."
But I didn't know that yet.
"Who planned what?"
"The monster wants to kick you out as soon as the house is ready! She planned it that way."
"I can't believe it! I've thought of a lot, but not something like that! How do they come up with such an idea?"
"It's all about money. She noticed that you weren't rich, now she's looked on the internet for someone who is richer than you!"
"I'm sick of it!"
"There's something else I have to tell you. They want to open a business, but don't have enough money on hand. Be careful, they'll try everything to get money."
"I already thought that you want to set something up. I overheard a few phone calls. I think you want to open a boutique."
"I don't know, but it can be!"
"I'm going back now, I'll see if the monster is back, but I don't think so!"
"Please be careful!"
"Don't worry, I'll be fine!"
Oh the games people play now, every night and every day now
Never meaning what they say, yeah never saying what they mean
And they teach you how to meditate, read up your horoscope
And change your faith and further more to hell with hate
Come on and give me some more, and more, and more
It is after noon when I get to your house. She is there! That surprises me, the journey is quite a long one. I look at her, her face is gray, that's not easy with a black complexion. She's angry too! I don't know how to describe that look on my face. Maybe I'll be able to do it with a little paraphrase. The human face, which one should look up and reflect the brightness of the sky, yes, all human faces, from the first to the last, are defaced by this leprosy! A stone, a kilo of shit, is still more respected than a person. In short, their looks are not pretty. The eyes are bloodshot. She doesn't say anything, just looks at me. It's not angry the way she looks at me, it's rather scared. I don't say anything either, walk past her in silence. According to a Chinese proverb, women carry half of the sky. Maybe, but not this woman, she has half of hell in her.
I go into the room, lie down on the bed. Wait what will happen now. Nothing happens! Not yet, but I know something has to be done. One thing is clear to me, there is still a battle to be fought to make a different peace, in a different language, on different spirits and on different terms. So I have to wait. This battle will come, the time is not yet ripe, but soon it will not stand it and will turn to the attack.
Once thrown into hell, mysterious melodies and cruel images of vanished beauty in the midst of crime and madness will echo that revolt that has shown infinite greatness over the centuries. I can wait.
But fairy tales don't always come true
You promised to stay with me, I promised to stay with you
I guess you knew and blew a good thing, baby
'Cause I'm saying bye bye don't go
"I couldn't sleep all night!" the monster explains to me.
"Themselves to blame!"
She passes over it like a discarded piece of paper.
"After our phone call I was worried, went straight to the bus station, hoping to catch a bus, but the last one was already gone, so I had to spend the night at the train station. That was not pleasant!"
I realize that it wasn't like that. I can imagine what happened. It's always the same game. I will try to outline this procedure. In essence, it's very simple. An elderly gentleman wants to have fun. What does he do? One option is to go to a brothel, but it is not necessarily fun. Another, much more time-consuming option is to find a woman on the Internet who would like to make an affair. It's even better to find someone who is out to be in a relationship. There are enough women who are hungry for money. They can be found easily. The good old, horny man pretends to be a millionaire. It promises everything a woman could wish for. A house, no, a villa, a car, expensive clothes, jewelry, ... and a lot more. When the woman reads this she drives off like a rocket. He can have everything from her. He makes a booking in a better hotel, after all, the goal of desire should be duped, should not notice that it is an object of pleasure and nothing else! Then the meeting. Eating in a nice restaurant, exquisite dishes, a bottle of wine, ... a tender conversation ... then off to the hotel. The woman can be used free of charge. After the fun the good man says: "Adieu!" Bye, bye you must go now. In the worst case, the man goes away: "I'll get a newspaper!" And he's gone. The beautiful woman is sitting in the room and waiting. She waits and waits. The good man is gone, the beautiful woman has to pay. after all, the goal of desire should be duped, should not notice that it is an object of pleasure and nothing else! Then the meeting. Eating in a nice restaurant, exquisite dishes, a bottle of wine, ... a tender conversation ... then off to the hotel. The woman can be used free of charge. After the fun the good man says: "Adieu!" Bye, bye you must go now. In the worst case, the man goes away: "I'll get a newspaper!" And he's gone. The beautiful woman is sitting in the room and waiting. She waits and waits. The good man is gone, the beautiful woman has to pay. after all, the goal of desire should be duped, should not notice that it is an object of pleasure and nothing else! Then the meeting. Eating in a nice restaurant, exquisite dishes, a bottle of wine, ... a tender conversation ... then off to the hotel. The woman can be used free of charge. After the fun the good man says: "Adieu!" Bye, bye you must go now. In the worst case, the man goes away: "I'll get a newspaper!" And he's gone. The beautiful woman is sitting in the room and waiting. She waits and waits. The good man is gone, the beautiful woman has to pay. off to the hotel. The woman can be used free of charge. After the fun the good man says: "Adieu!" Bye, bye you must go now. In the worst case, the man goes away: "I'll get a newspaper!" And he's gone. The beautiful woman is sitting in the room and waiting. She waits and waits. The good man is gone, the beautiful woman has to pay. off to the hotel. The woman can be used free of charge. After the fun the good man says: "Adieu!" Bye, bye you must go now. In the worst case, the man goes away: "I'll get a newspaper!" And he's gone. The beautiful woman is sitting in the room and waiting. She waits and waits. The good man is gone, the beautiful woman has to pay.
It will have happened in a similar way.
The question I have been asking is simple. Was the call the monster made before or after they were in bed. And there is no doubt that they were in bed.
My sunny days just ain't the same
Every hour of the day brings me tears
So I guess I have to keep on hoping, wishing, praying, that you are here
And, I'd rather end this self misery
Then to go on living without you
And and I, I ask myself over and over again
Did leaving you make me a fool baby
One thing became clear to me. The monster is a "gold digger" woman, nothing else!
A gold digger is a term used to refer to a person, typically a woman, who enters into some kind of transactional relationship for money rather than love. When it turns into marriage, it's a marriage of convenience of sorts. The best part is that these type of women know very well that everyone is out to snatch a rich man, but they will never admit that they are gold diggers. There is no connection between love and money. Love can motivate and recharge a person to work hard and make money to keep their loved one happy, safe, and comfortable. But money cannot buy love, because love is inaccessible and hidden in the heart, and needs to be won and not bought. This article will give you some pointers on how to spot a woman who just wants to use you. We all like the good life, but if she really likes you, the only thing that matters to her is spending time with you. A woman dating for money won't bother spending time with you either. Someone who loves you won't even care where you've been hanging out as long as she is hanging out with you.
When women are not loving, they have the opportunity to fake things, they can fake orgasms, enthusiasm, interest, among other things, millions of things. But there is one thing women cannot do, they cannot fake affection, which is very difficult for them. If she loves and wants to be with her partner, she will be very loving, she will want to kiss, hold hands and show as much affection as she can. If your wife seems cold and aloof outside of the bedroom, just know that she is doing what she has to do to make money.
This is how a girl can quickly lose interest in a man if she thinks he is not what she is looking for. If a woman is really interested in you, she will get back to you quickly as she is ready to drop anything to speak to the object of her affection. If she only dates you for money, then she will only be interested in conversations that are about money. If you text her through a weekend gateway, she'll get back to you quickly, but for a regular conversation it will take her hours to reply.
Superficial conversations usually take place when people don't know and trust each other enough to reveal weaknesses or engage them in intense conversations. Women are programmed to only open up to a man with whom they have an emotional connection. If she really likes you, your conversations will be deep and intense. She doesn't want an emotional bond with you if she's just dating you for money. It will make all conversations shallow and superficial.
Goodbye love
I don't really want to leave you baby
I'm so confused baby
Goodbye love
Good, good, goodbye baby
Goodbye love
Don't leave me baby till we make love just one more time
Make it feel forever, this is all I ask
Goodbye love
Good, good, good, good, good, good
Give me the keys back babe
I want your love back babe
"What about the man you were with?" I ask very modestly.
"Which man?"
"There was a man who whispered to you, tell him that you love him!"
"There wasn't a man that was sure to be on TV!"
"It wasn't on TV! That sounds different!"
"I was tired! I was in this city, gave my lecture. I just wanted to go to bed! Then your message. I didn't close my eyes!"
I believe that she hasn't closed her eyes, that's exactly how she looks! Only why, I don't believe her.
"I don't trust you! You were in Nairobi and not in this city where you supposedly gave a lecture."
She pretends to be upset, but she isn't, she was expecting it.
"You can ask my colleagues!"
"Colleagues stick together, that doesn't help!"
"I'm talking to my boss, she can confirm all of you!"
"Do that!"
I have no confidence in this either.
Talkin '' bout you and me, yeah and the games people play
Talkin '' bout you and me, I'm talkin '' bout you and me
Talkin '' bout you and me, yeah and the games people play
Really, a lady answered this morning, she wrote, her name is Hyline and she's the monster's manager. I don't know that name, have never heard of it. In short, she tries to confirm that the monster was in the office on Thursday, that they had a long interview, that the monster apologized, and that this will not happen again.
Can i believe that Can I accept that? No! I can not! The duration of this conversation is far too long for that. Five hours! I'll still put up with an hour, but five hours?
Then we write about Friday. Hyline tries to confirm that the monster was in this town. She also confirms that she spoke to the colleagues and that all of the colleagues confirmed that the monster was present.
I'll write back to her that I don't believe it. She writes to me that she has the transcript in front of her, which confirms that the monster gave her talk. This protocol is signed by the colleagues and the monster.
I will write to her if that is the case, then I would like a copy of these minutes.
I have to insert it here, I have never received this protocol!
I write to her that I don't believe a single word and that I am not sure that she is the monster's boss. Then I write to her how it all happened.
Thursday, this strange meeting that had lasted five hours, the monster had used to drive into this city. Your colleagues have already been there. She signed the protocol that she, the monster, is present. She may also have given a talk, short and sweet. Then she drove home quickly.
On Friday morning she drove to Nairobi. That would also coincide with the driving time. If she leaves home at 9 a.m., she will get a bus at around 10 a.m. She would be in Nairobi at 5 p.m. if everything goes well, which is not always the case. So that would all fit together in time.
Hyline realizes that she can't convince me. She gives up. She does not provide any proof that she allegedly has.
I lie on the bed and think. The first thoughts relate to the process, then a thought occurs to me! Who tells me Hyline really exists? That she's the monster's boss, that she's employed in this office? I only have one name! Then nothing! It could also be that the monster borrowed a phone or bought a SIM card and is now chatting with me as Hyline. It could also be a friend or acquaintance posing as Hyline. Nothing is safer, nothing can be ruled out!
I'm waiting.
The monster comes back beaming.
"You talked to my boss?"
I just wonder why does she look so happy?
"I spoke to her," I confirm.
"Do you still have doubts?"
"My doubts are still there! They are not dispelled!"
"Why? What is still unclear?"
"One question I would like to have answered is, is Hyline really your boss?"
"That is her!"
"I thought the boss in this office was a man!"
"When you were there once, I introduced you to a gentleman as boss. Hyline wasn't in the office at the time, she was out!"
Well, I have to leave it like this, I don't know any better.
"Well, I'll go to the office with you and Hyline can show me the log. She won't send me a copy, so I'll have to go to her."
"You can do that!"
"I do too!"
"I'll call when she's in the office!"
She's having a phone call. After a short conversation, she hangs up.
"She is on a business trip and will not be in the office for the next few days."
I am not suprised!
Oh we never know where life will take us
I know it's just a ride on the wheel.
And we never know when death will shake us
And we wonder how it will feel.
So goodbye my friend
I know I'll never see you again
But the time together through all the years
Will take away these tears
Mysterious things come first. I watch them, notice them. I have been warned from two different quarters that have nothing in common. I have to be careful, many things can happen, nobody knows what! Here in Kenya I am an outsider, a foreigner, a mongoose, a white man, an idiot. The Kenyans are obviously right.
The mood in the house is in the basement. Since the problem that arose between us, the mood has changed. The monster is cold towards me. I don't mind much. Apparently I got cold towards her too. The only ones who are still happy with me are the children. Like almost every day, we play "monsters". We like that! We have a lot of fun together. With the three of us, the world is still in order. According to the account of the Bible, the world is in the six days from September 23 to October 3, 3988 BC. Has been created.
Goethe wrote his "Venetian Epigrams"; Thomas Paine worked on his "The Age of Reason"; Schleiermacher wrote “About religion. Speeches to the educated among their despisers ”; Novalis wrote his "Theodicee"; Edward Gibbon "Decline and Overthrow of the Roman Empire". Richard Weston's "Apologies" tried to refute Gibbon and Pain.
Physical, chemical, biological discoveries were made, sociological principles were found. New scientific healing methods were found and tried. Philosophizing statesmen, greedy businessmen, scientists, artists, farmers all live together in a confined space, clever and stupid. They love and they hate each other. They wage wars, made treaties, broke them, and waged new wars. The clever few push forward, the immense number of the others stop.
It's OK now ...
Goodbye my friend
I see a lot of things that make me crazy
And I guess I held on to you
I could of run away and left
Well, maybe ...
But it wasn't time we both knew
People shower, go out, talk on the phone, talk softly to one another. What is noticeable is that they go away together, one comes back, and after a few minutes the other comes back.
Most of the time I sit on the veranda, looking at what is going on in front of my eyes. I firmly believe that they want to open a boutique. Where or from whom should the money come from? I only know one source of money and that's me. What is noticeable is that the monster no longer shows any interest in building the house. Something has to be done that is much more important than building a house!
"I have to pay the rent!" The monster tells me.
"Pay the rent, you've done so far too!"
And I don't even believe that. I have observed that she is the caretaker in this building complex. When new tenants arrive, they will be instructed by her. If there is a problem, she will be contacted. She has the landlady's phone number. I know the landlady, she is a retired teacher. When I came to this house, it wasn't long before the landlady came. She was sitting outside on the porch.
"That's the owner!" The monster explained to me.
I was just having breakfast. The monster went to her, had invited her in. She was served a small breakfast. She looked at me, asked where I come from, what my job is, all these questions that are asked in order to be able to assess someone. When she left, the monster said to me, "Now I've had to pay rent." I didn't see anything, either then or in the following months.
Rent was never an issue. I pay for the food, the electricity, the television, she pays the rent, if she pays at all, and she does well if it is true that she pays 8,000, as she assured me a few months ago. I pay 30,000 to 40,000 a month.
It is a good opportunity to hear them out. "What do you pay rent?"
"You know that! 6,000."
"Wasn't it more, 8,000?"
"No, there were always 6,000. The landlady is very angry!"
"Why that?"
"I haven't paid rent for 3 months. Now I have to pay 18,000! Give me the money!"
"Where should I get this from? Why didn't you pay?"
"I've always been here, there was no order! Didn't you notice?"
I can't say I noticed anything. Why also? In the last few days there has only been a coming and going. It is immediately clear to me that the whole thing is a big lie. It's about the business that is to be opened, there is a lack of finances. I don't even see that I should be the idiot again! There was one possibility for the monster, she could have asked me openly if I could support her daughter. That would have been honest, but she can't do anything with honesty.
"You have enough money! Give it to me!"
The monster is pushing more and more.
"I don't have it! I have to buy a ticket, I have to buy the food and ... What do I know! I should come back too! Money is tight. This 18,000 is half the ticket."
"It's soon the next month, you'll get your pension, you'll have enough money!"
"It's not enough and you know it too!"
To get out of this trap, I say, "I'll look!"
She goes. The victory was won.
Kilikuwa mwenye hofu Nilifungwa nazo Nimefunguliwa sasa Kwa neema ya Yesu Nitamsifu Bwana wangu Maishani mwote, Kwani nnina ushirika Msalabani mwake.Tutakapofika wote Mbinguni kwa Mungu Tutashuku milele neema. Yes.
It was terrifying, I was bound to it. I am free now. By the grace of Jesus, I will praise my Lord all my life, for I have fellowship with His Cross. When we all go to heaven with God, we will be forever grateful for the grace of Jesus.
She's gone, I lie down on the bed, stretch out. My backpack hangs over me. I get up, take it down. My documents are in this backpack. I open it, there is my wallet, I take it out, open it, look inside. My money is gone! I look everywhere, thinking, when was the last time I looked in my wallet? I don't remember, it's been too long. It's not a lot of money, it's money for the train that I can buy a ticket. So someone was in the room and took my money! I am no longer surprised at all!
I call the monster. "My money is gone!"
She looks at me. "Are you sure? Look again!"
I'll look again. Of course there is nothing to be found there!
"It's gone!" I realize.
"Are you sure you had money in it?"
The monster looks dismayed. Do you know who it was? She knows! Maybe it was herself!
"Absolutely! That was money for my ticket."
"It's just the two of us, nobody else comes in here."
"And yet it's gone!"
"You mean it was stolen from you?"
"It can be, but it doesn't have to be. Maybe I lost it!"
The monster leaves again.
The money is definitely lost even if the thief were found out.
Shut your mouth, baby, stand and deliver
Holy hands, will they make me a sinner?
Like a river, like a river
Shut your mouth and run me like a river
Choke this love 'til the veins start to shiver
One last breath 'til the tears start to wither
Like a river, like a river
Shut your mouth and run me like a river
It continues in this way. There is no end in sight. It's in my ears every day. "Give me the money, I have to pay the rent!"
I still don't believe it.
It's Sunday, the kids are playing. I am with you, of course! Suddenly the house owner comes along. She sits down opposite me in the shade. I greet you with a show of hands. She waves me back and shows me that I should sit down with her.
"Hot today," she begins the conversation.
"Today it is warm. It rained during the night, there was a strong thunderstorm. Lightning struck the transformer, now we have no electricity!"
"I didn't know that! That's bad!"
"Yes, what's bad, the refrigerator is full, a lot will spoil! That hurts!"
"Will it take a long time to get a replacement?"
"I don't know! But I know Kenya Power. As far as I know, an order has to be sent to Nairobi, a new transformer will come from there. That will take, may take a few weeks!"
"Are you from Austria?"
"Yes."
"How is that handled in your country?"
"I suppose the same! The difference is the time. You will react immediately. I assume that a day later, if there is no replacement, we will be informed when a replacement will come. It doesn't exist here, it can here." I just hope! "
She laughs.
4th
She changes the subject.
"How do you like it here?"
"Very well!" I answer. It's not the whole truth, but in principle I like the country. Some people are nice and kind to me, others are cutthroats. Unfortunately they are everywhere.
"In Austria there are mountains and lakes?"
It's actually not a real question, it's more that she wants confirmation that she is not mistaken.
I agree.
She continues. "Austria is not a big country?"
I have to laugh. "Yes, Austria is a small country. For comparison: Nairobi has 5 million inhabitants, Austria as a whole has 9 million inhabitants. Nairobi is slightly larger than half of Austria!"
"So small! I thought it was a little bigger!"
"We Austrians like to make ourselves important, so the impression remains that we are a great nation!"
She laughs again. "You know I was a teacher?"
"I heard it."
"It wasn't always easy with the kids."
"I can imagine that."
"I admire you how well you get on with these children!"
"The difference is that I don't have to learn anything from them. I play with them when they have had enough, then we go home. That is not possible at school."
"Still, the kids love you!"
"That's right. It has to do with the fact that children in Kenya have no fathers. What is meant is that the fathers don't look after the children."
"That can be so, that's the way it is here."
We talk a little longer. I'm waiting for her to tell me that the monster hasn't paid 3 months rent, but doesn't say a word. She doesn't complain that she misses money.
This is the confirmation that everything is a lie. The money she says she owes is needed to start this business.
Life's so fragile and love's so pure
We can't hold on but we try
We watch how quickly it disappears
And we never know why
But I'm OK now
Goodbye my friend.
I can go now
Goodbye my friend.
The monster is coming. She sees me sitting with the owner. She comes, greets the teacher.
"Have you been here a long time?" Asks the monster.
"For some time."
"Come on in. Have some tea with us!"
"Thanks, I'm going again. What I wanted to see, I saw."
She stands up.
Turning to me she says: "It was a nice conversation! Goodbye!"
She goes. The monster looks after her. When she can no longer be seen, the monster asks: "What did you talk about?"
"About this and that!"
She looks at me with big eyes.
"Is that all?"
"That was all!"
"Didn't you talk about anything else?"
"What else could we have talked about?"
"It's good. Come in, we'll have supper soon!"
Na ye ni mwanadamu, Na dunia tunapita
Kama kupata kwa zamu, Oooh Zamu, Yangu itafikaa
Siwezi kana damu, Kesho wataja nizika
Ila ningependa afahamu, Haya mateso aloniipa
And who is human, and the world we pass by will take turns Oooh twists, mine will come tell him again who robbed me, yes he camps eee get a queue, i wait for me, too late !
I drive back. It's time. Much too late. My contact informs me. Everything is right, they are opening a business that costs. She used to always drive with me, drop me off at the airport, that always made me say that she wanted to be sure that I was really gone! This time it's different. She is no longer interested! Whether I'm gone or not, it doesn't matter anymore!
She takes me to the bus station. That wasn't necessary either, I know the way. It's about something completely different!
"Give me money! I have to pay the 3 months' rent. And, so far, you've always left money there so we can buy something to eat!"
"I have very little money available!"
"Go to the ATM and pick something up!"
I have nothing left, I have to go to the ATM. Nothing helps, it is like a burdock.
I withdraw my last money. She tries desperately to see what's on the screen, she can't. There is not enough money! I give her 10,000. I want to have my peace! I miss this calm very much!
The house in which I lived has become a gloomy house, a suitable dung place for the birds, the fat ones, hope, joy, youth, peace, quiet, life, dust, ashes, desert, desire, decay, despair, madness, death , Fear, deceit, folly, words, quarrel, rags, sheepskin, pillage, ledge, writing and spinach.
Everything went wrong! Everything has dissolved into nothing! The dream is destroyed, burst!
She counts the money. 'It's not enough! "
"I know, but I don't think you're in arrears!"
"I didn't work, you know that! How am I supposed to make ends meet?"
"How am I supposed to make ends meet? You've benefited enough from me! Everything was twice as expensive as normal! So what do you want?"
She looks at the money in her hand.
"I'll give the rest of the money!"
It does not interest me anymore!
I am leaving.
Shut your mouth, baby, stand and deliver
Holy hands, will they make me a sinner?
Like a river, like a river
Shut your mouth and run me like a river
Choke this love 'til the veins start to shiver
One last breath 'til the tears start to wither
Like a river, like a river
Shut your mouth and run me like a river
I left her. It was too much. All these scams, small or large, get on my nerves! I also think it doesn't have to be and shouldn't happen in a relationship. I reacted late, drawn the consequences late. I should and should have reacted much earlier. Now I know it! It's too late now!
Smelling the air when spring comes by raindrops
reminds us of youthful days.
But now it's not rain that water the cane crops,
but the sweat from man's brow;
the substance from our spine.
We gotta keep on living, living on borrowed time:
Hallelujah time!
Epilogue
Old people don't talk anymore, and when they do, only sometimes out of the corner of their eyes.
Even rich they are poor, they no longer have any illusions and only have one heart for two.
It has been some time. The answer my friend is blowing in the wind. And that's true too. The question I ask myself is: How many roads must a man walk down, before you can call him a man? Have I gone far enough at my age? Wasn't I looking for happiness, looking for love?
And from crying too many that her tears are still peeling on her eyelids?
And if they tremble a little, it's because they see the silver watch age
who purrs in the living room, who says YES, who says NO, who says: "I'm waiting for you"?
It's a long way I've come What's bad, I didn't make it, my path led me astray. The path I went was rocky, full of traps and, I have to admit, I fell into all of them. That's bad, but it's the truth.
Life is not easy. There is an up and down.
Old people no longer dream, their books are sleepy, their pianos are closed,
the little cat is dead, the Sunday Muscat wine no longer makes her sing.
I'm old, I know that, I've stopped dreaming. Reality is more important. Dreams are foams, they burst like soap bubbles and this dream is shattered! And how!
What do i know now I was able to find out a lot.
1. I was told that by two completely independent bodies that the monster and Patrick are a couple;
2. After the house was built, they would have thrown me out; the whole process had been planned well in advance, between Jackie (the monster), Patrick and Jackie's aunt, all witnesses to the purchase;
3. The monster was married, was not free for a new marriage. This is a crime in Austria, apparently nobody in Kenya cares. The mayor has given her a corresponding document! She has also made an affidavit that she is unmarried. Her dad asked for a token, even though he knew she was married.
4. Now she says the land and the house are hers.
5. Not uncommon in this country. It's completely normal in Kenya.
6. I have a contract with the Ministry of Land. I contacted the ministry. What can I tell you? First let me ask: is the ministry of land involved in a fraud? It actually looks like that. Let me explain.
I bought a plot. September 2019. I got a docjme t from the mnistry of land, stamp, signatures. I payed. Now it comes out that I'm not the owner of this plot. I lost the money, the seller got the money and the plot. That was a fraud. Nobody can deny it.
I lost everything and involved is the ministry of land.
So what you want to do?
Hello, sorry about the incident. Kindly note that this requires lodging a court case. Kindly also register a Caution at the respective registry against the parcel prohibiting any other further dealing in the property and to protect your interest.
Regards,
Ardhisasa Customer Service Center
Shamba lako, Hati safi
We don't need no more trouble
Make love and not war! 'Cause we don't need no trouble.
What we need is love
To guide and protect us on.
If you hope good down from above, love
Help the weak if you are strong now. love
What you dearly doubt, the lie or the truth? The former costs your self, the latter at most your happiness. That is all. The whole of life is an unsuccessful attempt by the individual to gain form.
I came back months later. I don't need a house or land in Kenya, I want to sell it. The documents are with Jackie. I went to Mosocho and stayed at the Venus Gardens Hotel. Everyone in Mosocho knows me. Ten minutes after my arrival, her daughter came with her friend to check if it was really me. After a while, Jackie came along. We talked. In short, she refused to give me any documents. She refused everything. I told her that if she did that, I had no other chance of going to court. Jackie laughed. She told me what will happen, "The lawyer will take your money and I'll take your property." We talked about it. I went to my room with Jackie behind me. When I opened the door I saw that something was wrong. I was robbed! The strange thing is that the sales contract was stolen. In addition, my jacket, my wallet with 40,000, my glasses, my sugar meter, a pair of pants were stolen. All other things remained. It's strange that a sales contract was stolen, and not even the original. It was just a copy.
Jackie didn't spend 1 KSh and now she's winning 2 million. As I found out, there is no law in Kenya. And that's true. Here you can do what you want.
The foreigner is the loser. And that's not always true. Some people asked me how I see Kenya, why so many whites come to Kenya. They thought I would say because it's a beautiful country, but I know better. The whites come here because there is good business possible here. That said, here they can do what they want, make money to go straight. They are processed in Europe, nothing happens here.
Can man only focus his attention on this life? Is it then something other than a transition which, if man is reasonable, leads him to that eternal happiness which is the wages of virtue? I will accept for a moment with you that crime can make the criminal here on earth happy. Do you believe that the righteousness of God, which exists despite your denial, that this eternal righteousness does not take vengeance on the villain in the other world?
I did this little search. Actually, I was trying to find out the truth.
The old do not die, they fall asleep one day and sleep too long.
They hold hands, they are afraid of getting lost and still get lost.
And the other stays there, the best or the worst, the gentle or the rough,
that is not important, the one of the two who is left finds himself in hell.
You may see it, you will see it sometimes, as rain and sorrow.
Crossing the present, apologizing for not being far away.
And flee one last time before your eyes, from the silver clock that purrs in the living room, that says YES, that says NO, that says to them: "I'm waiting for you".
The one purring in the living room, the one who says YES, the one who says NO and then waits for us.
I've had enough of all the restlessness in the world. I've been hanging around on this earth and now, an old man, I finally want to enjoy what I have long, long recognized as the great happiness of human children, peace and quiet!
Baby no need to dey rush
I go give you money
I go give you thing you want
Baby no need to dey rush
I go give you money
I go give wet you want
Big party girl come around
If you gotta pretty face come around
My Tanzanian girl come around
If you gotta pretty face xx
Big big big big party girl come around
If you gotta pretty face come around
My Tanzanian girl come around
If you got a pretty face come around
I saw the East in its case
with the moon for a banner
and I counted on a quatrain in which
to sing it's light to the world.
But when I saw Jerusalem
a poppy on a rock
I heard a requiem
when I leant over it.
Don't you see, humble chapel,
you who whisper "Peace on Earth."
That the birds hide with their wings
these fiery letters: "Danger: frontier."?
The path leads to the fountain
you may want to refill your bucket.
Stop there, Mary-Magdalen,
for them, your body is worth less than the water.
God willing
Song lyrics by:
Georg Danzer
Wolfgang Ambros
Harmonize
POPOTE NA YESU (Anywhere With Jesus)
UMECHOKA HATA KUZIMIA (Are You Weary)
Tutamiliki (And When the Battle's Over)
Bob Marley
Julian
Bishop Briggs
Songtext von Goodbye Love
Linda Ronstadt
Ed Sheeran
STSSalvatore Adamo
