A Foreigner In Kenya, Chapter 26

 

Tafuta vifaa vya ujenzi - search for building materials

But it's not so far to get there

One more thing to do, says vanity

But before I have a heart attack

Or find myself at forty wearing diapers

I'll be lying somewhere on the beach,

A bottle of red wine in my hand

And put my feet in the white sand

And sometime I'll just stay there ...

The dream goes on. Never stop dreaming. Dreams are like foams, they burst, some come true! You have to work on your dreams.

Where can I get the necessary building materials from? What we need at the beginning are stones, sand, cement, fiber, ... Where do I get them from? It is of course very good if the building materials are from the immediate vicinity and do not have to be transported from far away. So we're going to my building plot. There's a city not far away, so there should be something to do! The Fundi told us that he needs stones first. This is our first task.

We get out at the building site. I look around. There is a small supermarket, a pharmacy, then the hotel, or as we say, the restaurant. When I turn around, Patrick suddenly stands in front of me. I just wonder where it came from so suddenly? We greet each other. The monster tells him that we need stones for the foundation.

"See who's coming!" Says the monster and points in one direction. I look, there comes my aunt.

Another greeting. 

The aunt is also informed. 

"We need stones, ballast, cement ...," explains the monster. 

It is discussed. 

"Let's go to the hotel," says the monster, "we can talk better there." 

We go to the hotel, look for a place. The waitress comes, the monster orders something to eat and drink.

"Stones are not a problem, they are lying around here, we just need to collect them. I have someone who can do that for that." 

As a precaution, I ask: "How much will it cost?" 

"I don't know, we'll ask." 

After dinner we go to this man. Patrick, the monster and me, the aunt is going home again.

The way is not very far, soon we will have reached the place that is apparently our meeting point. A small stream flows, the road comes to an end. A rickety footbridge leads over the stream.

Nobody to see. Patrick calls out loud, but no answer. He picks up the phone and calls him. After a few minutes the man is there. He comes across the stream.

There is not much talk, Patrick tells him what we want, the man replies that is no problem. "Collecting the stones costs 2000."

I agree with that. Why not? Working a day isn't too much, I think.

Everything done, we go back satisfied. 

We're going back. There is nothing more we can do here.

The monster is proud. "I told you, the stones are on the road, they just need to be collected!"

Right, she said that.

A few days later. A call from the construction site. The man has the stones together, now he needs a transport. I am a little surprised, as I had assumed that the stones would be brought to the construction site. It is not so!

We're going back to the construction site. There are other things that need to be done.

We get out of the Matatu and just like a few days before, Patrick suddenly stands in front of me. I didn't even notice him. Is that a ghost, this Patrick? He appears out of nowhere.

"Transportation is not a problem," he says. "There is someone who has a wagon who does it."

The aunt comes too. I can see them from afar. She can't go fast. Somehow I'm not surprised.

We're going back to the hotel. To eat and drink.

"It doesn't cost much to transport the stones," explains Patrick. "Only 5000."

I think that's a lot. If collecting the stones costs 2000, the transport cannot cost 2.5 times as much. The way is not far and the transport only takes a few minutes.

I make my objection. Excuses come back. The road is bumpy, the stones have to be loaded and unloaded. And what else do I know! I just find it strange that the good man collected stones, hasn't he already loaded them? He must have only marked them so that they can be found quickly. That's how easy it can be.

What can I do, I'll pay. A strange feeling remains in the stomach area.

The stones have been delivered. We're going there. This time with the Fundi. He can begin! I think so.

Patrick is back! I would have been surprised if he hadn't come.

We're going to the construction site. The Fundi looks at everything. Also look at the blueprint. Begins to measure.

"Where will the house be built?" He asks.

I'll show him the spot. He starts measuring again.

"Yes, that fits well," he says.

I am satisfied too.

"What we need now is a hut."

"Why this?"

"For the tools and for the workers! They can't go home, they have to sleep here."

"What kind of tools ?." I ask naively.

"We need tools to start building a house."

"Aha," I mean, "and you don't have any?"

So I learned that in Kenya no Fundi has a tool. In Europe it's the other way around, I don't have any tools, the Fundi has everything.

We go into town to buy the necessary material. The Fundi goes with you, he knows what he needs.

The building works alone cost 25,000 materials.

We drive back to the construction site.

What we still need is wood for the hut. We have the Mabati, nails, saws and a few other small parts too. Of course Patrick is there, he just knows everything! He has a tree to fell and then cut to size, costing 10,000 for the tree and 2,000 for the saw. Do not imagine that the tree is a huge tree, it is a small tree, a eucalyptus tree. Felling it takes time. There is a timber trade next to the construction site, I didn't know that, I could have got the wood immediately and cheaper too. But that's Patrick's business and it has to be worth it for him.

We often go to the construction site, there is a lot to do. Always something new.

Fundi was on the construction site for 3 days and built this hut. Cost me 4,000. His people are there, the building of the house can begin. His people are not enough, he needs helpers. The seller's brother, Patrick's son, the monster's son and a few others are there, they work with us. Everyone is hardworking, everyone is committed. I look at them. I am happy.

The foundation is ready. Took two weeks, but now it can go on.

We need bricks. That's a problem. Not easy. I have to fight against the monster and a ghost that is invisible but is still there. And the ghost has a name: Patrick.

I drive trucks with bricks past me. I say to the monster: "Call this company, ask what it costs."

She knows. "A brick costs 10 shillings."

We're going back to the construction site. Patrick reappears, out of nowhere he's back. We tell him what we need. Of course he knows what to do. I wasn't surprised either. Anything else would have surprised me, but not that!

"There is a farmer who burns bricks."

I also think we should call this company, but the monster doesn't hear.

We go to the farmer. Not far from the hotel. The bricks are small, not as big as the ones on the truck!

"A brick costs 7 shillings," says the man.

There is not much difference, 3 shillings! In order to be able to decide something, I need to have more information.

I'm not saying yes, I'm saying that I don't have any money at the moment, that I have to get one first.

We're going, we're going back.

You cannot compete, cannot compete

With a person with a mouth

That's right, I am powerless against a ghost.

Draw your attention to something noticeable that she should call after all, she does not call. Not possible!

What I've noticed so far is simply explained. 

Everything Patrick says is law, it must be obeyed. My opinion just doesn't count! Patrick doesn't build the house. He makes all agreements, without him nothing goes here! He is there everywhere, has his hands in the game everywhere.

Being fought is usual, do not let it bother you

You are a tree with fruits, get used to the stones

Cry a little, then be quiet that the pain will end

When you continue, you confuse them more

The monster and I are sitting in the hotel. We are waiting for our order. I am a little surprised that Patrick or the aunt are not there. It's strange! I take the opportunity and ask the monster: "Who is this Patrick?"

"Why do you ask?"

"He's always there and what he says fits."

"I don't know him. He's just a kind man who wants to help us."

I have to swallow that, there is nothing else to do.

"I didn't ask him for help. If I need help, I ask for help. I have the feeling that he makes his profit with me. Without him, it doesn't work!"

"He just wants to help!"

"I thought he was a relative of yours."

"This is my first time to see him."

Patrick comes, behind him the aunt.

We eat, talk. First over the bricks. The monster did not call, and my request to ask another brickmaker was not granted either. I would have wondered too. After some discussion, I make it clear that I will buy the bricks from this farmer. Patrick and the monster are happy. They achieved what they wanted.

The next problem is much more delicate. Now that construction begins, it will be necessary to have someone to look at and monitor the daily construction progress. The construction workers must be controlled.

I mean: "I have the Fundi, who is responsible. I have a contract with him, if not in writing, but also verbally and I pay him weekly. I will fire him if I am not satisfied." 

The monster knows better. "We have a construction site here with some material. A lot of bricks, cement, stones, wheelbarrows, shovels, hoes and so on. That is a value that must also be protected. If we do not check every day, then we lose a lot . They drag everything away! "

These are of course arguments. In Kenya in particular, they are absolutely correct. I know that everything is taken here that is not solid.

I say: "I know that! It's not new, people are stealing in Europe too. Kenya is no exception. And I expect it too. Someone will take cement, another some bricks, that will be difficult to control. With that I do the math. " 

The discussion goes back and forth. Without really moving from the spot.

The monster is not satisfied with the service. She calls the manager, gives him a long lecture on how the service should be and that she has a lot of experience in this area.

"Thank you, Madame, for your advice, I will take it into account." A friendly manager.

We go. It's afternoon and it's time to go home. In front of the hotel the monster suddenly says: "I think that will be the best, Patrick and my aunt do the supervision together. What do you think of that?"

Everyone is looking at me. I shrug my shoulders. The monster takes that as approval. For me it is a great resignation, nothing else!

"The payment? What do you think 50,000 are OK. 50,000 for Patrick and 50,000 for my aunt? That's okay!"

I just nod. Everyone is smiling, maybe grinning too. What do I know!

The bus is coming, we get on, drive home. 

Then pick up your faith and return to the fight

When they see you to say you have become tough

Let them speak, let them talk about you

For there is a God that will shut their mouths

We're back. The bricks have to be bought. Patrick is back, suddenly standing in front of me as if risen.

We go to the farmer. Not far from his farm is a lake, not big, just a bigger Lacke. Does not look good.

"You can go swimming here," says the monster. "Is the lake deep?" She asks the farmer.

He has to think, then, after a while, he says: "It's deep." 

I leave it that way. It doesn't matter either.

We go to the bricks, look at us. I have to admit, I don't know my way around. Bricks are a mystery to me.

We're going into a house. 

The farmer is asking me for 70,000. I refuse.

He says: "10,000 bricks makes 70,000!" 

"That's right, only 1. I don't buy 10,000 bricks now, and 2. I don't have the money. I buy 1000 bricks. I don't need any more at the moment." 

The monster is surprised. "Why only 1000? That's not enough!"

"Even if I want to, I can't. I don't have the money and until these 1,000 bricks are used up I'll buy the next." 

"That doesn't work! We need 10,000 bricks!" 

"Maybe, but not tomorrow." 

"We agreed!"

"You made it, not me! That's not the point! I can't pay!" 

"1000 bricks are not enough. That must be more!" 

She is thinking. Strained.

"OK, we're going to buy 5,000 bricks now. Is that possible?" And turning to the farmer, she says: "Leave something behind! You see we have problems."

The farmer goes down with the price. Now one brick costs less. That helps me.

I'll get the money out of my pocket and pay him the price. The farmer counts, is satisfied, pocketed it.

The monster would like to have a receipt, of course there is no such thing. Again she gives a long talk about the importance of keeping records. I'm just afraid the farmer has never heard of it. Your lecture is getting on my nerves. I have to say something. "In case you didn't know, there's just black money here, it doesn't appear anywhere."

People look surprised. What should I do? What is right is just right.

We go. We stop in front of the house. The farmer goes behind the house with the monster, a private conference! What shoud that? What do they have to discuss so secretly? What's going on I do not know and will not find out.

If words were able to pierce this body

Then my body would be full of wounds

In the war of words, there are generals

If you were to compete, you will lose

Now comes the transport. Not that easy in a country like Kenya.

We're going to the hotel. I need a beer. Unsurprisingly, Patrick has someone for the transport. It's a younger man.

I ask him: "How much?"

He says: "10000."

I'm pissed off. That's just too much!

"You can leave."

I have nothing more to discuss with him.

The monster is mad at me. "Why are you so stubborn, let's negotiate!"

It doesn't matter either, the young man doesn't go, he doesn't have permission from Patrick or the monster, he stays seated.

"He says 7000 now!" Translates the monster.

Patrick looks excited.

"I said he could go. I have nothing more to talk to him about. It's over."

"How should the bricks get to the building site?"

"Leave them where they are."

That sits!

Patrick is the first to realize this deal is over. He dismisses the young man. That works too. He did not do his job or performance. Patrick jumps up, runs away. He has to save the business! The monster looks angry, is confused about my appearance. It doesn't take long before Patrick comes back. He has a new offer. It costs 5000 now. Even that is too much, but I agree. The monster is relieved, so is Patrick. What I would like to know is how much of those 5000 he can take. That he is holding up the hand is obvious. Nothing works without his consent! If he wants he can prevent the whole building.

The human, the man has an issue with the tongue

If you teach it silence, you will not lose

My friend, what is your problem?

Why lie? Fear God

If God judged by listening to words

Then what of pregnancies that are talked about a lot

If God judged by listening to gossip

Then I would advise you my minister to close the church

Sand. We need sand! Where to take, if not steal? I dont know! The monster says a load of sand costs 25,000. I have to repeat it, I don't know. What I've learned in the past few days is that everyone is taking advantage of me. Patrick is doing his business! If he has his hand in the game, everything costs double. So I have to be careful.

"25000 ?," I am amazed, "is very nice! The sand hardly costs anything, it is fetched from a river somewhere."

"That's right," says the monster, "the sand costs nothing, but the transport!"

Yes, the transport! Again and again the transport. I already know that from the stones and bricks.

"It gets expensive especially when your friend Patrick has a hand in it."

The monster snapped. Not too long, she knows what's right. The mzungus are all idiots anyway! So what is it for?

I'll leave it as it is, as I always do.

I do research on the internet. I have few opportunities to make myself smart here. Everything is kept away from me. Could harm me! I still find out something. Partly from the Internet, partly from friends I meet on my walk, with whom I talk. They give me information. Soon I'll know the price of a truckload of sand. The price is 6000.

I confront the monster with this news.

"That is definitely not good sand," she says.

"That can be, but the difference remains. It's a long way from 6000 to 25000. I think that the quality of the sand is not the decisive factor. There is someone who wants to enrich himself."

Who can it be?

I guess it's the monster and she's using Patrick for it.

Nevertheless, the sand has to be chewed. We need two truckloads. With 6000 it doesn't work that doesn't surprise me, it costs 12000! So twice as expensive.

"Why is the sand so expensive," I ask. I know, a stupid question, but what the heck? A mzugu is lost in this land.

The answer is simple. "The sand comes from far away."

A stupid question, a stupid answer. A mzungus got it!

Jesus, this Jesus did not defend himself

Though they talked with evil intents, He forgave them

And you forgive them, and pray for them

For they do not know ..?

We are sitting in the hotel. Clouds are gathering, it will rain. I can feel it in my bones. We, that's the monster, the Fundi and me. We discuss how the house should be built. We'll come to an agreement pretty soon, there isn't much to discuss. The house construction will be done in stages. Each level costs 55,000.

Now the Fundi comes with a wish.

"What about a meal allowance?"

I am surprised because the architect has already said that this is not common in Kenya. I tell him that too.

"We're not at home, we can't go home to eat there. And it's more expensive in the hotel."

This is common in Europe. I know that. It's not new to me.

"What do you have in mind?"

"200 a day!"

To make this story short, I agree. Let them be happy.

Palms rise to the universe

As we moonshine and molly

Feel the warmth, we'll never die

We're like diamonds in the sky

A few days later I found out that I had agreed to where it was, without really knowing what the impact would be. In short, I was ripped off again. The monster didn't say anything either, just smiled and agreed.

A Foreigner In Kenya, Chapter 24

 Ni nini mbaya - what is wrong

You are the only one

I've never seen before

My number one

You only I go crazy for

I wanna be with you forever

I wanna be your super love

We are still looking for a blueprint. It goes back and forth. We don't have a real plan yet I can't expect anything from Fundi. I ask him if he can make a construction plan. Nothing works without an architect! That surprises me. I think to myself, he should have a little idea.

That's enough for me, I sit down and draw a construction plan. It's a European blueprint, a European house.

I say to the monster, "Send the blueprint to the Fundi."

Some time later, the answer comes, "Looks good."

We meet again. This time we have a basis to talk about.

One of the first questions is, of course, the price. I want to know what the material costs and the labor. He doesn't know, gives evasive answers.

"First we have to see the architect, he will tell us what and how much material we need."

I make another announcement: "Well, I want to get from you; first, a list of what material is needed; and second, I want to know the labor time."

A few days later. We meet again. I'm thinking to myself, he got everything, now I'm getting an overview. What he has is a text message, he shows it to me. Apparently an architect from Nairobi, at least that's what he claims. The architect is asking 200,000 for his overview, because that's the only thing it can be. For the building plan to draw he has someone, he asks 50,000. I am a bit puzzled. Annoyed. I have never seen anything like this before. We continue talking. I make a mistake, notice it immediately, want to correct myself, look at the Fundi, notice that he has not noticed it. I am very surprised. I make more mistakes, this time on purpose, the Fundi doesn't correct me! Strange.

We go home. It doesn't leave me alone, I have to ask the monster, "Is that really a Fundi?"

"Of course," she answers.

I don't say anything, it bothers her. I wait for some time, then I ask, "Did you sleep with him?"

Maybe. I think I saw looks there between the two of them, which I noticed and which have no place between a customer and a builder.

"He's married!"

"It doesn't mean anything."

I wonder, of course, what kind of home construction that was and where? She has no job, is a volunteer. Who would put her to work there? Alright, I'll take it easy, that was before my time, none of my business. Just like her children, I don't know the fathers and they don't interest me either. Maybe it's a mistake on my part, maybe.

I decide to give up the Fundi. So far he has only cost and contributed nothing. For my house I need someone I can rely on.

I search and I find. The one Fundi does what Innocent should have done. He makes a list of the material that is expected to be needed. Then the working price. This is also strange. He calculates the house construction in 3 steps. 1. the foundation, 2. up to the windows, and then up to the rentals. Must confess, I do not know this, is new.

The other fundi already comes with a list of materials needed, as well as the price. Now only the labor price is missing. He charges differently. He charges one price for the foundation and another for the walls. He is also cheaper. This is easier for me to understand. I give him the order.

Sometimes I might wonder why you love me so

I no go leave you till I die mamitto

Girl, I want you to understand

This love makes me feel so special

I want you to understand

This love makes me feel so special

A Foreigner In Kenya, Chapter 18

 Wajenzi - builder

This is how life goes, an eternal ups and downs. Sometimes pretty, then again ugly. Bert Brecht already wrote it: 'Nothing stays as it is.' And there is nothing to add to that.

The monster is in my ears, she wants to build a house. I am not convinced that this is the right decision. A house means that I always have to be in the same place, I can't decide overnight that I want to leave this place. I have to sell a house, rent it out, I just give it back an apartment. Much easier and without a headache.

I object, she listens, pretends to understand.

She is looking for an apartment. It's too tight where we live. Which is not really true, because after the party we were - I think there were eight people - in the house and slept there. I have to accept the narrowness, there is nothing else to do.

An apartment will soon be found. Bigger than the current one. Not far away. Pleasant for Jigsaw because that's where she goes to school. Rent is fine, 10,000. We look at them. Not bad. We go again, the caretaker will talk to the owner and then let us know. We'll get word the next day. The owner demands 20,000!

I'm not surprised why, I was expecting something like this.

The monster says: "The owner must have found out that you are a mzungu and has doubled the rent."

Maybe it is absurd, whether I can believe it that way?

In short, the apartments have their pitfalls. Everything doesn't work out, something always comes up. There is always something that doesn't fit.

After weeks of searching, it is clear: a house is needed!

I mentioned it before, a foreigner, a damn, crazy Mzungu, a white man is lost in Kenya. 

We are looking for a house, a place to stay for all of us! I have to repeat, we are two adults and two children.

The search is not that easy. The size has to fit, what is still important is the price!

The monster says: "The boy is big, in a short time he is going to university, then only the little one remains and I send her to my sister in Nairobi." 

Simple. Plain and simple.

I know her, I know that there is a lot of talk, most of it is said to make me happy, satisfied. It therefore has no special meaning for me. A 3 bedroom house is a must! End and end.

We are looking for in Nairobi and the surrounding area. We drive around, inspect, search. We find some houses that we would like. One thing must also be said here that some houses do not even exist, we only see a construction site, green around us.

I'm not rich, contrary to the Kenyan belief that all whites are rich. Maybe we are rich, not in money, maybe rich in experience. What do I know?

If you have enough money, you can choose it, that's true, there is only one thing I don't know whether a foreigner can own a house at all. The real estate agents who try to sell don't say anything, they don't care, the money matters to them.

We come back unsatisfied. Still no house, no view. The monster makes a long face. I notice, but don't say anything.

I am worried. Take a pencil, a piece of paper and start to put my thoughts on paper. What is written can be better analyzed. Soon I come to the conclusion that I can save half of it if I build the house myself. This has advantages, but also disadvantages. The advantage is that I can build a house the way I want and not a house that is a standard house. Downside, I have to take care of everything. It doesn't matter, I'm retired and have enough time.

Shakespeare wrote it in Hamlet when he had the gravedigger say: "No sooner have you been born, death begins." 

It is true that our life is like a house with two doors, we come in through one door, we go back through the other door. Our lives are far too short to play around with. On the other hand, people need a home, the only question is: 'where is my home?' Here I am a white man, a mzungu, a stranger. Don't speak the language. Can I be assimilated here? A white man in Kenya? Without money? Without future? Why should I build a house at all? A little story about it. Alexander the Great, of Macedonia, had subdued the world as far as India. In India he met a guru. He introduced himself. "I am the ruler of this world." That did not impress the guru. "You don't just own the piece of earth you are standing on." That was the guru's answer and he was right. We don't own anything possession is a superstition. Possession does not exist. Only in our imagination.

Man's great fault is that he has the freedom to repent every day and does not choose it.

These are my thoughts. 

A building site has to be found. Not easy either. When the blacks hear that a white man is looking for a building plot, this building plot suddenly becomes gold.

There are phone calls, questions go around, all of which takes time. The monster is in a hurry. Your mood has improved noticeably, that pleases me and calms me down too. Her scowl was not easy to bear.

To cut it short, the aunt has found a reason. Not that far from where we are now.

The next problem is the builder, Wajenzi or as the monster says Fundi. (I don't actually know the expression Wajenzi, everyone says Fundi.)

The monster knows him. "I met him when we were building here, and he was overseeing the building project."

"You built? Who built?" I ask, strangely touched. 

She tells me a story, it can be true, but it doesn't have to be. I leave it, there is no point in asking any further. Dear God, let the Fundi come!

And he's coming! 

We're sitting in the bar, I'll have a cold beer, that's good. It's late afternoon. The sun is still shining, but soon it will disappear behind the trees.

The fund is coming. The monster introduces him. The Fundi has a folder with him. He puts them on the table. He introduces himself. His name is Innocent. (I hope the name is spelled correctly). I have to laugh. He looks a bit strange, maybe confused because I laugh when he said his name.

"Innocent!" I yell out, "I'm not innocent!" 

The Fundi has to laugh too. He sits down. I explain to him why I am laughing. "Innocent has this meaning for me: you are free from guilt or sin especially through lack of knowledge of evil: blameless, an innocent child. And the Bible also says: let the children come to me, because theirs is the kingdom of heaven . "'

"Yes, I know, a strange name, but I have it." 

"Never mind, mine is no better."

The Fundi brought a plan of a house with them. He takes it out of a torn envelope.

"I've just come back from a building negotiation," he explains. 

The house on the blueprint is not what I want, the monster also has objections. But that doesn't matter, because we are looking for someone who can carry out the construction project, we can create the construction plan for it ourselves or announce our wishes.

So far so good. The first step is taken. We have a fund. Now we can take action.

At the end of a short story.

One died in Nairobi. He knocks on heavens door. Nobody open. He knocks louder. God heard it, calling Moses.

- Moses, what's going on, who is knocking on the door?

Moses is checking it. He came back.

-It's a Nairobi man, he wants to enter the heaven.

- Let this poor guy in and give him something to do.

The Nairobi man enters heaven. Moses give him a trimur instrument to play on a cloud.

The Nairobi man got cloud number 7 to sit on and the play music and to sing.

 - Hallelujah, the man sing very lite.

- Hallelujah, again, he sing it very lite and then he hear for an echo or answer but unfortunately he couldn't hear anything.

 - Hallelujah, this time louder.

Again he hear but no answer.

He becomes angry.

- Hallelujah, he cried out. 'Hallelujah again! Dawn hallelujah! ' No answer.

God hears that shouting.

- Moses, who is so much making notice?

Moses is checking it.

- It's the Nairobi man, my master.

-We must give him another job to do. That's good, actually I have one important task to do.

The man is called to God.

- Nairobi man, I have something important to do. This is a letter for the president, he's waiting for it. Go to him and deliver it.

The man takes the letter and leaving heaven. He's flying down to Nairobi. On the way he is passing some bars. He can smell the bear. He thinks, 'Let me have a beer.' And he enters a bar. He orders a bear. It is fresh and cold. He enjoys it very much. He thinks, 'OK, I should deliver this letter but I guess it can wait for some minutes more.' And he orders a second bear. He looks around, everyone is happy, smiling, laughing, drinking bear, enjoying life. He orders a next bear. He starts to sing. Other people sings with him. He orders a bear after the other. Life can be so nice! And he drinks one bear after the other .... And he forgot the letter, the advice from God to the president. And so the president is still waiting for the heaven advice.