A Foreigner In Kenya, Chapter 13

 The nag

We have now heard from the daughter and her granddaughter. The daughter I eventually nicknamed "Jigsaw". She is a real "pain in the ass" as many would say. Actually, the correct translation is "nag" (She is a real nag). I'm still quite fond of her though. The granddaughter of the divine was nicknamed "Skydiver". I should briefly tell you here how that came about. The Divine, her son, Jigsaw, the granddaughter and I were sitting at dinner. I can't remember what was for dinner. Doesn't really matter, Giteri maybe. Throughout the day, the granddaughter was outside playing with the other children. The TV was on, I think it was the news. Nobody thought anything of it, peaceful the scene, suddenly the granddaughter falls off her chair. We wonder, wait for her to get up, sit back down on her chair, but she doesn't come up. I got scared that something had happened, get up, check on her. She is lying peacefully on the floor, her arms folded, her head resting on them, asleep. We all laughed. "It looked like she was a parachutist," I said. And later I remembered that parachutists call themselves "skydivers". That's where the nickname "skydiver" comes from. Actually, everyone got a nickname. The son too. He used to show me his muscles. "Fifty kilos," he said. I had to admire them, which I did. Encouragement was also needed. One fine day he came back, I think he had carried something, in any case he was very pleased with his muscles again. He stopped in the doorway, looked around, said "James Bond," showed his muscles again, smiled, disappeared into the kitchen. That stayed with him. From now on he had the nickname "Bond, James Bond." The Divine got her nickname too, much later, but she was not spared. We had invented a game. The girls and I, we played it many times. The game is very simple. In the evening, before supper, or even afterwards, we played it. We lie in bed, we pull the blanket over our heads, then I tickle them, I make noises, they giggle. This goes on for quite a while, we made a lot of noise. Sometimes I'd turn the light off, but Skydiver was afraid of the dark, so I had to turn it back on. One fine evening, we were playing again. We were very loud, not just loud. Skydiver shouted, "Monster is coming!" We pulled the blanket over our heads, I started tickling them. After a few minutes we had to gasp for air. We were lying by the bed, thinking nothing, when suddenly the Divine stood in the doorway. Skydiver saw her and she shouted :" Monster is coming!" That really made me laugh. I just said: "Skydiver has recognised you correctly. From now on, you are the monster." And that's how everyone got their nickname. Only one nickname is missing and that is mine. I must confess I don't know it. But I think it's one of the following: Idiot, stupid old man,... Mine is probably along those lines, but I'll tell you about that later.

Soon it's time, we all go to the river again. The children were so excited that they couldn't wait for the next weekend. Just like the children, it was certainly the same for the mothers. On weekends it is washing day, so the house is cleaned. There are strings stretched from one house to the other, and the laundry is hung out to dry on them. What a lot of chatter every day! What do the women have to say to each other? I have to hear it too, and I hear the voice of the monster, clear and distinct. And as I hear the healing voice of the beloved woman, I feel a new faith being born in me. Her nearness seemed to put everything in a different light, and I began to wonder if fate was not now knocking at my door. It's time, let's go. The path is the same. We are going the long way, not the short way. Along the way, everything is the same, everyone is running around in confusion, running ahead or staying behind. It's hard to keep track in this horde. Finally we reach the river. The wild horde storms off, it can't be stopped! The river is stronger! Jickdaw is the first at and in the water, the others follow her. I stay on top, sit down on a stone, actually a rock, and watch the commotion. Everyone is crowding around the edge of the river, going into the water, shouting. I worry that something unpredictable might happen. Just like last weekend, I warn again today: "Don't go on the rocks, it's slippery! You'll fall into the water!" Nobody listens. They are out of their minds! To be prepared for the unexpected, I leave the rock I'm sitting on and go to the opposite side, which is safer for me in case a child falls into the river.