Nairobi

 Nairobi

After our trip to Mombasa we landed back in Nairobi. It’s 2 pm The wagon wasn’t full, the return journey from Mombasa to Nairobi was much more pleasant. I slept again, that was essential. I didn’t see any animals. Don’t think now, the guy was asleep, he can’t see anything, maybe in a dream, but that wasn’t possible, because I had hardly fallen asleep when my wife woke me up again. So I was able to see everything important and beautiful without having to pay attention myself.
I’ll call an Uber. He’s already at the train station. only where? Sometimes it’s really difficult! I send him a message, he replies. “I’m here!” Great, I’m there too! I look around, happy as I am, I find the car. Nobody there. I send a message “We’re at the car!” He replies: “I’m coming!” He’ll be there in a minute. We’re leaving.
Mombasa Road, the hotspot of traffic congestion. Usually all hell breaks loose here! Not today! Heavy traffic, but that’s about it. I’m a bit disappointed. Nairobi without traffic jams is simply unimaginable! I had to learn that the people in Nairobi are just proud that there are traffic jams every day. Maybe you saw this on TV from some big city and now think that a traffic jam belongs to a big city. Everyone asks me: “Do you also have such intercourse with you?” I can’t really tell the truth, most of the time I answer: “Yes, we have too!” I can’t really be proud of that. I’m in contrast to the Kenyans. They’re usually a bit pissed off.
“Really?”
“But yes!”
“Certainly not like this!”
“The same “
“I didn’t think so!”
‘There’s not much difference. In the morning and in the evening it’s backed up.’
“Surely the traffic jams aren’t that long?”
“Can’t tell how long the traffic jams are. The news doesn’t say that.”
Well, what can I say, free travel in Nairobi is not wanted. The dignity of Kenyans would suffer. This is the daily madness into which we — with our eyes wide open — plunge every day. Charles Bukowski put it aptly: “How in the he’ll could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 am, by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?” And that shows us very clearly what we do every day, with our eyes wide open, we are like a cat that chases you with a tail but never reaches it, or like a hamster on an impeller that tries to get from the spot, maybe also wondering why he is not moving. And we’re all stuck.
But we should also look at it with a smile on our face. A couple is driving the Maserati on the highway in Nairobi and is driving at exactly 81 km/h. A policeman stops the sports car. Grandpa asks: “Sorry, were we too fast?”
The policeman says: “No, but why are you driving that car so slowly?”
The man is surprised: “Am I allowed to drive faster?”
Policeman: “I think you can drive 130 km/h.”
The man says, amazed: “But the sign says A81.”
Policeman: “Yes and? What do you mean?”
Says the man: “Well, I have to drive 81 km/h.”
“No, that’s the number of the Autobahn.”
“Oh! Thanks for the tip.”
The policeman looks confused at the back seat of the car and sees the woman sitting stiffly with her eyes wide open. The policeman asks caringly: “What’s the matter with your wife? Isn’t she well?” Grandpa laughs out loud: “Yes, yes! Only, we’ve just come from the B297!”
It can also work that way.
What is the difference between a car and a vibrator? The car is for the ass.